Friday, June 20, 2008

I Am Not Spoiled.

I don't think I ask for a lot out of life. I don't expect people to do things for me. I do them myself. I make my own opportunities. I have learned not to expect certain things because they are just disappointments waiting to happen.

I don't expect the kids I went to high school with to hang out with me now. We were all great friends but I know if I called them up and made plans, they would cancel on me last minute. It's happened too many times before. I don't expect my mother to ever understand why I draw girls that are smoking. I tried to tell her once, that I like to portray life as it really is, but she'll never get it.

Is it ridiculous if I just want to have a good birthday, or see a friend live up to his full potential, or have a boyfriend that fully gets who I am? To have that Cake CD I ordered last year finally come in to Criminal so I can pick it up? Or to have friends that want to be around me or take my feelings into consideration when they make stupid comments or cancel our plans? To have acceptance from my own family, or see someone who could do so much in the world stop using heroin?

Maybe I just ask for too much.