Sunday, November 30, 2008

"Fuck You Hartsfield!" And All The Other Reasons Why Airports Blow

What's the sitches bitches? Holy cat on a cactus, I am a sad combination of tired, queasy, frustrated, and...did I mention sad? I'm currently coming to you live from Denver, CO, on behalf of their generous free airport Wi-Fi. So props up to Denver. I can't go on One D At A Time because of..."questionable material" but oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Speaking of lose some, this had to be the shittiest day de la mi vida. My flight from Hartsfield gets delayed about thirty minutes. Cool, cool. We hadn't even left for the airport so things were alright. Then my flight gets delayed another thirty minutes. At this point I am sitting in the terminal, attempting to salvage the shitty chicken tortilla soup I spent my last dollars on (oyeah, which definitely wasn't closed properly and definitely came open in the bag). I am so sleepy that not even cold air can keep me awake.

My flight finally boards at 5:00 pm. When was it supposed to, you ask? 3:35. And did I mention that I had a connector flight in good old Denver to catch? Because I did. But because of my delayed flight, I didn't actually get into the Denver Airport till five minutes before my connector left. Oyeah, and then, because my plane was so small, my lil vintage suitcase had to be checked, which meant I had to wait to get that before I could catch my other plane.

Which I didn't catch.

I'm supposed to be in LA at 7:30. Because I have to take the only other flight going out to LAX tonight, I won't be there till maybe 12:30.

Despite how it sounds, having to kill almost 3 hours in an airport by yourself ain't fun. The high point of this was probably getting to stand on those moving sidewalks instead of walking.

By the way, in the hopes of lightening up my shoulder bag, I put my school books and jacket in my already crowded suitcase. And then I closed it. Lalalala...and then I heard this cracking sound and saw that the back of my suitcase had split open under the pressure. And then upon attempting to examine this further, I hit my head on the metal pillar next to me.

It's one hour till my flight leaves (hallelujah!) and I would just like to say that no one is ever allowed to complain about having to wait for a twenty or thirty minute flight delay. Ever. Because when you do, just think of me.

Ohmahgawd that sounded totally narcissistic, right?


Wednesday, November 26, 2008


In about an hour and a half, I'm hopping on a plane and heading to ATL for Thanksgiving! Expect some not so live blogging and highly infrequent updates. But when I come back, expect awesomeness! Because there's a serio surprise coming in the not so future! Get ready!

In the meantime, I'll leave you guys with a video of one of my favorite songs. It REALLY sucks that byoP had to release a second EP with this song on it, because I never got around to buying that EP.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

No Mas Antelones!

I have no idea what the word for ant is in Spanish. I just call them antelones since it rhymes with pantalones and sounds really cute. Plus screaming No Mas Antelones really loud is sorta fun. Anyway, I'm having this mildly serio ant problem here in La Casa Del Diablo aka my apt. Obvi this is because my flighty, inconsiderate roommates like to leave the patio door open without closing the screen door. I've told them time and time again to close it (it's a fucking sliding screen door, why is it so hard to close? you are already up opening the patio door!).

So instead of walking all over the place the ants seemed to have conglomerated next to the couch. Actually next to the right hand side of the couch. Actually just on the right arm of the couch. I don't understand either. They cause me no inconvenience except for the fact that I put my food on the right arm of the couch.

What I am really trying to say through this touching and charming anecdote is that these ants need to vamanos. Really. Does anyone know how to get rid of ants without having to like buy expensive traps and whatnot?

I've just been spraying them with Lysol and swearing at them but it's not getting the point across. Sometimes I don't even think they're listening...


Monday, November 24, 2008

Party Time '08!

Uhhh whoa. Cat. On. A. Cactus. There are so many parties coming up! I'm pretty sure I'll still be in town on December 10th, and by then, I'll probably be fully moved into my new townhouse, so someone totally has to come with me to this! Afterwards, you can totally crash at my place and we'll drink all the liquor we siphoned! Fashion show! Party time! DJ! Shadowscene! Ellei J! Safari Sam's! Hol-la!

Oh sorry about that. I was starting to set the words to a rhythm in my head. Shit was bumpin'.


Cat On A Cactus!

So the pics from the CD x Revolve party are up! Here's the whole album, but I picked a few photos of the people I knew, so you know, I could say I knew them and you guys would know I'm not crazy. Even though I'm crazy.

Oh and I totes need to work on my party pic faces. I don't get it. I stand in front of the mirror for at least 45 min before every party I go to, making faces and expressions and I always look stupid in every picture I take a said party. It's a vicious cycle.

Alright, here's me and Ellei. What is going on? Why am I waving? Where I am looking to? Why the hell did I cover up my POP sweater with my free scarf? I look like I was Photoshopped into this picture. I wasn't though, swearz.

Here's Skye. She was jammin' in the DJ booth. I think she told me she knew Posso. She showed me this pair of sequined leggings which were beyond the beyond.

This dude was the shiznat. As soon as I walked into Revolve he took me aside, told me I was the cutest thing ever, and said that I could have anything I wanted and needed, as long as I stuck with him. He introduced me to Skye, actually. Then he started getting pretty tipsy and asked me if I could tell he was drunk. I said no, obvi.

Alright. That's it. Just so you know I'm not crazy. Just un-photogenic. Oh and cat on a cactus is totes my new catchphrase. It's, basically.


The Most Special Movie Ever!

I'm normally not a Michael Rapaport fan (not since Boston Public ended a milli years ago), but this movie looks kind of super weird funny awesome. In that weird funny awesome way that screams independent film. Plus I may be the only person on the planet who caught this, but I am loving the use of the Clock Work Army's song "The Day We Woke Up Without Mouths" in the trailer. Okay music geekiness over.

Um, so who's coming with me?

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Last Night A DJ Saved My Life

Holy cat on a cactus you guyz, last night was too much fun! After being unfairly and stupidly stood up by this dude who asked ME to go to the bike shop with him, I was thoroughly miffed but determined to have an awesome sauce day nonetheless.

I basically wasted my day making useless phone calls and standing in front of the mirror, looking at my outfit from different angles, until about 5:00 pm, when I swung by the Costume Dept/Revolveclothing party.

It amazing. Posso killed it and I basically stood around looking sad and lonely and awkward until this dude named Jeremy (uh I think? Or maybe Brandon?) took me under his wing and introduced me to the dudes running shit. I met the designer and owner of the store. Then I ran into Skye Ferreira who was saying that there was another girl named Erika who was on Missbehave, when I said, "I'm that girl!" And then there were wide eyes and hugging and she proceeded to introduce me to a few more people. And then I had some of her champagne sno-cone. And it was delicious.

Oh yeah, did I mention they were popping bottles all night? Por serio. Champagne was coming out of the woodwork. And they were screenprinting scarves. Mine's kinda cool. And the sno-cones were amazing. People were mixing them with champagne and it was fantastic.

After that I headed over to the clothing area of the store when someone put a camera in my face and took a picture. That's when I ran into Ellei J! She looked super familiar so I said, "What's your name?"

She said, "Ellei."

I said, "I'm Erika from Missbehave."

Then we hugged and bounced around for awhile and she introduced me to a few more people. Then we exchanged numbers and she hopped around taking pictures.

I was on the dance floor, live-texting and bopping around to the awesome music mix, when this chick named Carol and this dude named Tay started talking to me. It turns out Carol is a big proponent of underage drinking because she thinks, "21 is too old." She then proceeded to give me extensive tips on how and where to get drinks. Oh and then Tay gave me a flyer for his band's gig at the Bordello downtown.

I dipped out around 7:30 after saying goodbye to everyone and then went to Amoeba and bought another Bikini Kill album, prompting the clerk and I to have an extensively awesome conversation about Kathleen Hanna, Bikini Kill, and L7.

I had a camera with me but I was sorta afraid to use the flash (at the risk of looking tourist-y) so I don't have pictures. But that's okay because Ellei took a ton of them so when they're up I link to those. Oh! And I took a picture with Ellei. She's so bouncy, it's really rad. When we hugged goodbye, we hooked ears and I said, "That's never happened to me before."

And she said, "I think I have big ears."

I think I can now say I am acclimated to LA!


Friday, November 21, 2008

Being Poor CAN Be Funny

We were talking about minimum wage and living conditions these days in my English class today. Instead of super analyzing and getting mad intellectual, we just ended up swapping stories from our past min wage jobs.

This one is my favorite. This dude named Juan told it to us and we were all cracked up for a good five minutes straight.

"I had this job once where I had to wear a suit. So I bought one and the motherfucker paid me less than the suit."

This just in: poor, even now, can still be funny.


Free Show For Those With Nothing Better To Do Tonight

Do you live in LA? Are you bored? Have you no friends?


Head over to the 3rd St Promenade tonight in Santa Monica and see Links live at the Apple Store. Por libre! Free! No cost.

I've actually seen a band live at an Apple Store and it's a fun time. Go. Please. Make friends, listen to indie dance music, have a ball. We are your friends. You'll never be alone again, so come on.


I'm Not Sure Why I'm Feeling So Introspective/Depressed Today...

This is something I told my boyfriend a few days before I left for California.

We sat on his bed and I looked at my watch. It's the same watch I'd had for about three years, and had been through a lot with me. The wear and tear was starting to show.

I said, "See this watch? I've had it forever. It's the only watch I've used for about three years. But now it's starting to get old and soon, it'll break and stop working and I'll need something new. This watch is Atlanta. I need something new. This one has had enough."

A few weeks after I moved to California, my watch broke. Well, the actual watch part is still ticking, but the strap broke completely, despite desperate attempts to mend it.

I think it means that you really can't hold on to the past forever, but that life keeps going regardless.


Um, Whoa

These sunglasses are my dream date. They probably will look stupid on me, but I want them anyway. They are $20. That is the most I've ever spent on sunglasses. If I were to buy them. But, you guys love me, so uh, I'll let one of you lovely ladies buy them for me. Thaaaaanks!


Thursday, November 20, 2008

I Am Loving The Ugly!

So, um, whoa, is it just me or is this new season of Ugly Betty getting amazing-riffc?! Sure, shitty and weird things are happening to the supporting characters, but Betty has been basking in some well deserved happiness! I am all about this newfound joie de vivre! She got a fantastic downtown apt and moved in next to this super cute guitar playing wonder boy! (Even if wonder boy did totally makeout randomly with Amanda and temporarily crush Betty's poor heart) Things are getting sort of tricky for her here and there, but she's still managing to stay optimistic and passionate!

Okay, maybe I am also just loving Betty because I can basically identify with her constantly. Not to mention the fact that her clothing is getting more clashy and therefore 32784937629% more awesome.

I don't want this season to end. Ever. Even if it has to run for 70 more years, till I'm dead. Oh wait, I just remembered I'm killing myself at 30. So if they could just run this season for 12 more years pls. Kthx.


Since I know you guys are genuinely interested in the state of White Rice Magazine (my most exciting endeavor and bastard child of a feminist startup magazine), I thought I would let you know what's going on with it.

So I got the old drafts that were printed up about a year ago and after I read over them, I realized that White Rice surriously needs a facelift. But more than that, it needs a concept. The poor thing was seriously lacking in theme and cohesion. That's the first thing to be fixed.

Secondly, the White Rice I was writing focused on music, books, movie, and fashion. Is there anything else anyone can think of throw in there? Maybe art or social events?

And awesomely enough, I've been reading up on creating flash websites in the hopes that we could produce White Rice as an online magazine (making it easier to communicate ideas between the many states we reside in since we can all look at the same thing at once, and making it more accessible and cheaper to create!). It looks easy enough, but I have a feeling a little AV nerd seduction is in order to make this a reality.

So that's it everyone. Things are still very much in their infant stages, but I'm looking forward to 2009 for the opportunities it will present.

Oh and V and I have the launch party planned out. Free beer, cheese, and crackers for everyone who attends!


One. More. Week.

Um, ohmahgawd ohmahgawd ohmahgawd! It's only one more boring week until Thanksgiving! You know what that means, right???

One more week till I see my boyfriend!

I'm super excited because we haven't seen each other since August. Craze shit has happened since then, obvi. I am happy to see him a) because I love him very much and I adore seeing and being around him, b) because he (sadly?) is one of my only true friends and it'll be nice to be around someone who gets me and c) because I feel like I've changed and developed so much (for better and maybe worse) that I almost want to show myself off. Like when you get that awesome sauce top at F21 for 60% off and you want to wear it the very next day just so you can tell people you got it for 60% off when people compliment you on it.

Not to mention the fact that Thanksgiving is like the jumpoff for the rest of the year. After it passes, it's Christmas, the New Year, and then not only will I be in my fantastic new townhouse, but I'll have a better job, more opportunities, and a few seriously life altering decisions to make.

I'm stoked. You should be too. To get you in the mood, please direct your attention to this video:

Damn. A decade later and I still hate Peppermint Patty.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Lily Allen On Nylon's Dec/Jan 09 Cover

Thoughts? I personally think she looks like a white Rihanna. But Lily's always cute, so I can't say anything bad.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

All I Want For Christmas Is...This Giant List Of Stuff

So Lolita Hazed has brought up Christmas shopping. And it's scary because we only have 40 days to make our friends' and fam's holiday deepest desires into realities. Luckily for me, I have no friends and therefore have no problems getting gifts!

Just kidding, but really, luckily for me, I don't have too many special people in my life and so I only have four people on my shopping list. Also luckily, I know my homeslices like my nail polish collection: inside and out. So shopping isn't too hard for them.

But. I rarely ask for Christmas presents, and usually just suggest something simple if prodded, like perfume or something on vinyl. However, this year, I think I'm gonna cash in on all those years of being a complacent gift receiver. So here's my tentative list:

a pair of lace up boots with a 2 to 3 inch heel
pink hi-top chucks
money for my tattoo (final deicision: i am going to get the words in the hustle i trust in a banner on my forearm. it will be bitching)
catholic saint candles
the new earlimart cd
more black leggings
this record player so i can give mine to my mom (so she can listen to her english beat and stevie wonder albums in peace)
more eyeliner
these cups and these cups
this notebook
a vest. just one. i just need one.
a new pair of flats. my toes are poking out of all mine.
a haircut. please.
a new bottle of perfume. preferably this one.

Um, thanks. Merry Christmas.


If You Could Only FEEL What I Am Seeing

My math class, Developmental Mathematics 93 AKA Math for those who didn't care enough in high school or on the SATs or on the ELM exam, has been a constant source of entertainment since the year started. From the slightly overcast redhead, to the dudes doing the gangsta lean in the corner, to the kids that are always playing with each other's hair, to the "I'm really just doing this for the credits" tutors, I look forward to going to that class for the people. The lessons? Dude, I learned this stuff twice already.

That's right. I had to repeat Algebra in 9th grade.

Anyway, so what's currently panning out to be a potentially exciting and interesting plot development are the love triangles sprouting up all over the place. Well, they're not exactly "love" triangles per se, since they're all crushes, but this is fun!

Let me lay it out for you guys. There are about 7 key players in this production:

Me (puleeze don't ask how I got stuck in this. It just doesn't pay to be a cute girl who can get along with guys well these days)
Hot Topic Redhead Girl (HTRG)
Blond Chick Whose Name I Don't Know (Blondie)
Girl Who Hangs Out With The Girl Who Lives In My Building (Understudy)

So, despite only knowing him for about 3 months, Blondie likes Chris. She shoots him smiles and laughs when he does stupid shit. Unfortunately for her, Chris likes me. These feelings are unreturned, obvi, because I sorta have a little crush on Eduardo. He's really awesome. It's like a baby crush's definitely not going anywhere. Enter Adrian, who hails from Napa Valley and likes me. He asked me to hang out with him Friday night but I told him I had other plans. (Yeah, sit in front of the cough stuffing my face with cereal right out of the box and making good friends with the Internet) Luckily for me, HTRG enjoys Adrian's company. In fact, I thought he was trying to get with her before he suddenly started trying to woo me for some odd reason. Now here's where the Understudy comes in. She has a thing for Eduardo, who reeeeally doesn't like her. Whatevs. I could touch him before she could. But I won't. I can keep my hands to myself.

You see what I am walking into three days a week? A room full of undersexed, overly hormonal kids who are all lusting over each other. I swear...if you came in there, you'd see it too.


Monday, November 17, 2008

That Bob. Must Stop.

Okay, so this will come off pretty hypocritical since I have a bob and have rocked one for about a year now, but ohmuhgawdddd...enough with the bobs already! When I got my hair cut, everyone and their weave lovin' mama had long hair. I remember flipping through mags looking for things to do with my hair and finding nothing.


Now suddenly the whole world has bought a one way ticket to Bob-Land, home of the Mousy Haircut?

Ugh. Makes me just wanna throw cats at people's heads. Or grow 1000 fists to punch them with. Either/or.

Goddamn trendy haircut. If I ever get a long haired cat, I think I'm gonna give it a bob. I'm gonna go get some Cup Noodles now. Did I mention that tonight was my last day of work? I'm kinda tired. Can't believe it's almost Christmas. Great. That means I have go get started on my Best Of '08 album list...

Oh yeah and I'm gonna stop ending my posts with Deuces, Erika. I think I'll just go for the sleeker, cleaner, E. Maybe XOXO, Gossip Girl?


Sunday, November 16, 2008

"You Rock Like A Girl." - "Thank You."

Man...I wish I could have spent my formative and angst-ridden teenage years in the 90s. But noooo. I had to blossom in the gross '00s. Not important. Important is the fact that I spent an entire hour last night reading up on Kathleen Hanna. Important is the fact that she has become my Gloria Steinem.

Important is the fact that I spent two and a half hours listening to 90s riot grrrl rock music from the Muffs, the 5,6,7,8's, Free Kitten, Lunachicks, and Hole. Important is the fact that tonight, I bought my first Bikini Kill record.

Really important is that I found the video for this song (btw, one of my favorite songs in ever). I wish I had been a teen when grunge was in. I would get a pair of lace-up boots, patterned tights, and sundress, and put this song on whilst leaning over the bathtub to die my hair blue. Now enjoy.

Oh yeah, and important is the fact that once I go back to Atlanta and get to drum again, I will so totally be starting a garage band. It will so be awesomeplus.


Friday, November 14, 2008

WTF To Infinity

Hmmm...boys are weird. Espesh boys that hint at things and beat around the bush in reference to things that don't even make sense to you. My boyfriend is talking to me on the phone and is all mysterious and whanot, saying, "I know your dirty little secret."

I am like, "what are you talking about?"

He just repeats the same sentence. I tell him how vague he's being and then he says that he's purposely being vague.

Then I say, "Being vague is for poets and hipsters."

But that's the end of the topic. What is he talking about? It sounded like he was smiling when he said it. Ah well. If he's talking about the blog, then ohai Sam! I love you! But if not then he's found something of mine that I didn't even know about.

Dudes. Boys are so weird. I wish I could throw cats at their heads sometimes. Then again, I'm pretty weird too. Maybe that's why we mesh so well.


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

East Coast Or West Coast Bitches?

So Public Domain just came out with two new shirts for each of the long dueling, unequally amazing coasts. Duh, because I'm an LA kid for life, I pick West Coast. I'm pretty sure everyone lives here. But I have reason to believe some of you are dwelling on the East, and even more surprising is the fact that a few of you may be living in the grey space between the coasts!

E or W. Take your pick ladies. And then cop the shirt, because it's only 20.00. We'll all get together, wear them, get really drunk, and then get geographically belligerent! Holiday memories for everyone!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I'm Sofa King Excited!

Not just because I am moving, but because nothing but good things are happening! It turns out that not only does my boyfriend not have cancer anymore, but he's moving too! Long, slightly sad and personal story short, he was living with his father and nothing was going well there. They don't have the best relationship. So he got together with his art friend and her friend and decided to rent this house out from this dude. I hear it's gorgeous and cheap and whoo! and yea!

It's like we've all hit our senior years (metaphorically, of course). We were weighed down by our schoolwork and the heavy hand of the principal and teachers, plus the pressure to get into the right college...but now all that's done. We've been accepted into our schools of choice, after months of sacrifice to study, passed our tests, and now we're just waiting, scribbling hearts onto desk corners, pretending to pat attention in class...with our eyes on the prize. People can't touch us. We put in four long years and now we're almost out. We won.

Does anyone get that metaphor? It's really working for me now. I'm at complete peace. I can't stop crying. For the first time in my entire life, they're tears of joy.


I'm Moving! And Other Interesting News!

That's right bitches! I'm relocating! But not to awesome super cool have fun Hollywood like I'd wanted, mostly because I'm too poor to. And I have no one to live with, so my poor ass has to make rent alone. But oh well. Instead I am moving to not fun super boring kinda hot mostly empty Calabasas, CA. Does that sound familiar? It should. The Kardashians live there too. So with my move it should up the population to a whopping eight.

I'll be shipping up and shipping out in mid January, and I couldn't be more excited to get away from this hellhole apt. Plus the new apt has a washer/dryer in it so no more of this washing clothes twice a month to save time and money. Booyah!

And in other interesting news, my bf sent me my old drafts and copies of White Rice! Which means we can be in business pretty soon with this stuff! V and I worked ourselves up into a frenzy talking about it. There're no plans for the mag yet, but a launch party with beer and crackers is in the works!

Also, I'm going back to Atlanta in two weeks so expect fun tales and some not so live blogging! AND...I JUST BOUGHT...


It's so awesome! I can't believe I a) got it used for only 7.99 and b) remember all the words almost a decade later! This is why school should focus more on what you do retain than what you don't. The outcome of the Crimean War? I dunno. The words to "Spice Up Your Life?" Got 'em!


Monday, November 10, 2008

I'm On Cocaine, Like It Was 1980

DUDEZ. In the course of about a week, my life took a full 180 turn. No, more like the illegal solid line crossing U-Turn you make at 1 am when no one else is on the road. That fast. Por serio. I quit my job, got MAD sick, got flight plans made to see my mom back in Atlanta in two weeks, I broke up with my boyfriend and then got back together, I FINALLY got my goddamn cable money, and I had a motherfucking epiphany.

And I met a boy. But more on that later.

I realized, ugh, finally, that I am in control of my own life. My boyfriend was sorta upset that I never seemed to hear him when he told me that, but I'm pretty sure it was a lesson I had to learn on my own. I was bogged down, drowning in the deep end of the pool because I'd chosen to do a cannonball into it instead of climbing down the little ladder, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel, too possessed by depression and frustration to want to do anything except stumble through the day as effort and pain-lessly as possible.

But then I went to Sunset, like always, on Friday, (and it turns out I've been to Amoeba so much that random employees are starting to recognize me as I scramble between the sale VHS and the sale LP sections), and I went to 7-11. Then I got some hot dogs and sat in front of the CNN building watching Larry King on the big TV with the homeless people.

I felt calm. I felt like things could work out. I felt happy. (Granted, I was unaware that a 50.00 parking ticket was waiting for me three blocks away) I felt unstoppable and empowered and that's how I feel now.

When people are assholes to me (which they usually are), I repeat the words Don't Take It Personally over and over in my head. I feel like I can finally make decisions with my needs more so than others' in mind. I feel like it is possible to seperate yourself from your environment, and not allow it to bring you down or turn you into the bottomfeeders that dwell in it. I know what I want in a friend, and I'm committing myself to finding some. I feel like life can throw a shit ton at me and I can handle it. I'm ready. Come on 2oo9. You're my year.

And I've finally decided on a tattoo: never stop the hustle. And it's going on my forearm so whenever I get tired, or weary, or weak, I can look down at it and remember that this shit is for me. The things I do may benefit others, they may hurt others, they may change the whole goddamn world, but at the end of the day, the things I do are for me.

Ohai, and did I say something about a boy?

So I got suuuuuper sick on Tuesday (election) night. Shakes, body aches, light-headedness, nausea, the works. I went to the fancy schmancy hipster-ish Earth Bar that sits adjacent to the dry cleaners and got something called a Wellness Shot, which is basically a shot of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and various oils. It tastes like hot shit. And not in the cool way. The dude serving it up talked to me for a bit about how I was feeling and said he hoped the shot worked. We even joked around a little bit. It was sort of freaky though, since that is exactly how I met my boyfriend. He was working in a hipster-ish juice place and I happened to meet him the day I quit/got fired from my job. So apparently bad events are opportunities to meet great people I guess.

Anyway, he happened to stop by tonight when I was at work to ask how things went down. Grossly but shamelessly (as is me), I told him how I basically threw up everything that was in me on Tuesday. He said, "Bummer." And then smiled. He's so sweetcute. Huh. I just realized I don't know his name. Oh but he doesn't know mine either. Ah well. Serendipity. So he said goodbye and then I watched him climb onto his motorcycle and drive off. That's when I knew:


Although I do instinctively want to fuck scruffy haired boys that have cute smiles, I really just want them to be my friends, to teach me how to skateboard and laugh when I burp when we're drinking 40 oz in a treehouse (note: build a treehouse), or assist in my judgment of other chicks at the mall, or stick up for me when someone says something mean. In all honesty, I seek a brother in a male friend (probably since I did have a half-brother, but never ever saw him, so basically didn't have one at all), but oh well. Dysfunction!

Um, plus he has a motorcycle. I die, I die, I die. The chance to ride on that thing would be bitching, espesh if we were going back to his place to play video games.

Now that would be the


Friday, November 7, 2008

Repo! The Genetic Opera

So since I'm kinda becoming the self proclaimed darling of the indie movie scene (okay, so only like one person knows me at the Sunset 5), I guess I will be seeing at least one movie per week. Except for that one time when I saw Happy Go Lucky on Friday and then Let The Right One In on Saturday night. But that was rad because I ran into this awesome customer while waiting in line and I totes helped him and his friend make an educated ticket purchase.

Anyway, this week's fantastic flick is called Repo! The Genetic Opera. Basically it's set in 2056, a time where plastic surgery runs rampant, the city's people are addicted to painkillers, and organ failure has become an epidemic. This big company, GeneCo loans citizens organs, and if they miss a payment, the Repo man comes and...well, that's the end of them. The whole thing is set Sin City style, and basically has this rock opera vibe going on. You know what? I'll just show you the trailer and you'll want to see it too.


The movie was awesome! Basically it was the best combo of soft porn, goth, musicals, and comedy that I've seen yet. The premiere was craze...people were dressed up as characters from the film, they were taking photos and making videos, these girls started singing every song from the movie, and I chatted it up with a man wearing a cape. Good fun, good movie, cool director. He talked to us before the film started and then the audience clapped when his name came up in the end credits.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I Got 99 Problems and A Bitch Is One

When I lived in Atlanta I knew generally mean, bitchy people existed, because I saw them occasionally in school or on the train (that's right you guys, I actually use to take the public transit train...sometimes even twice a week!), but I never really came in contact with them. That's why the reality that there are some people out there who are just awful, terrible humans hit me so hard when I moved out here and started frequenting Hollywood.

It's still hard for me to see and experience firsthand the cruelty and rudeness people can exhibit. Just at work, I took a little longer to deliver this man's order. It wasn't my fault, it was a computer malfunction that said his order was somewhere it wasn't. When I brought the order to him he told me, "You know, I would have appreciated it if you'd told me you were going to take so long. I've been standing here for about ten minutes (total lie)." So I quietly said sorry and finished processing his order. After he left I heaved a sigh and said, "whoa, asshole," to another customer who'd been standing there and nodded in agreement.

Then tonight I was at Ralph's, standing in the Rotisserie area to get those fantastic potato wedges that they are ALWAYS OUT OF DAMMIT, and I saw this old lady and this burly dude in line. The dude turns to the lady and says, "You know, it's really rude to have your cart right next to me like that." She says, "There's nothing I can do." At first I think this is a joke, but then realize that he is serious. I can't even believe it. He says, "Well you could have left your cart over there outside of the line." Here this thirty-something dude is, bitching at this wrinkly-stockinged, orthopedic shoe wearing, grey haired old lady who looks old enough to be his granny. I'm in shock. He just storms off and the lady looks worried and confused.

Still, even with all the awful people populating this planet, I'd like to believe that the good outweigh the bad. There's evidence in all the people who have ever given me a hand, given me a job, or given me a chance based on the kindness of their hearts or their sheer amount of compassion. I don't think I'll ever understand why people find their worst qualities and choose to display those to the world, but at least karma will take care of them.


Baby Dick...?

This whole thing is disturbing for a couple of reasons. First, Dirt Nasty (Simon Rex) is rapping. Second, this entire song is set to various scenes from Family Guy. Third, the idea of making a song about baby sized dicks is just plain weird.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Giveaway Winner!

Yeah, I wish I had a better title than that, but I don't. You guys remember the giveaway I had going last week? Well now it's over! And we have a winner!

In case you have amnesia or are retarded, here is a rundown of the contest rules and regulations: think of a super epic band name. That's is. Yeah, it was that easy. And let me say, you guys are amazingly talented when it comes to naming bands. Record labels across the world need to be hiring you guys, stat!

That said, I had to enlist the help of superhuman wonder girl V to make this decision. (I guess it wasn't smart for an indecisive person to have a contest) And the winner is........


Noriah! With the awesome sauce name: She Bangs!

That means Noriah wins the Chester French single, and uh, whatever else I have lying around here. I didn't really put a gift bag together. My b.

Noriah, your fabulosity goes in the mail on Friday! Congrats! And thanks to everyone who entered! It was really sweet that you guys like me that much...oh wait, no, you just like free shit. Those are my favorite kind of girls!

And since I have some kind of uncanny ability to befriend people who work in the music industry, hopefully more giveaways will be possible in the future. Ole!


Monday, November 3, 2008

Just A Little Happiness For Your Tuesday...

I wish I had one of these.

And do NOT forget to vote you guys! For whomever you believe is right. (Although it should be Hilary...) Remember, the real "change" we need is one of our attitudes. Good luck guys!

Oh and everyone living in California please vote yes on Prop 2 and no on Prop 8 and 10. I can't stress that enough.

Supa Toos!


"If I Were A Rapist, I Would Come Here"

So you guys are probably expecting a full rundown of the debauchery that was Hard Haunted Mansion.

Sadly, I wanted to carry as little with me as possible (for dancing purposes) and so all I had on me was money, keys, phone, and gum (which the bitch at the front confiscated from me! I was like, bitch, this ain't food, it's appetite suppressant!), but no camera. So I will be referencing events and occasions using Whoopi's pictures as they are awesomer than whatever I could have taken. Also of note is the fact that for about thirty or forty minutes, and then a few more fifteen minute stints, V and I were separated from one another. This is, of course, because of craze boys, packed dancefloors, people trains, and the need to get a drink of water. So compare stories, ogle at pictures, and pretend you were there. Don't worry, enough ecstasy and soon it'll happen.

Things started off um, glitchy. We basically drove past the freeway exit to get to the venue, then wound up in Carson City (which is crap-ay), and had to turn around. But then we did pick up McDonald's, and did a little In N Out v McDonald's. Which I won. In my mind.

We did finally get to the Expo Hall, an hour after doors opened, and then proceeded to stand in line for another hour and a half while we got pushed and shoved by people trains, aka, the most annoying invention ever. Basically, six or eight or twenty two people join hands and walk through a crowd. These goddamn trains are unbreakable, and like real ones, never seem to end. I got ambushed by a group of girls wearing cheetah dresses. And then Robin pushed me. And then we found Waldo!

So once we were inside, we tried to find Simian Mobile Disco, but stumbled onto some Special Guest DJ instead. This is where the first craze boy of the night comes in. He started talking to V, and eventually, I was moved father back into the crowd, sort of completely losing sight of them. But I was getting my Jesus groove on, so I didn't notice. Guest DJ dude basically killed it. In the middle of all the club music, near the end of the set, he switched it up and played "Simon Says (Get the Fuck Up)" by Pharoahe Monche (for all you old school hip-hoppers), which was bananas. For like two magical minutes, all the ravers got crunk. It was awesome. Oh, but then this dude pushed me and I was about to go "Hey, don't fucking push me" but then he threw up right next to me and I just had to leave the area.

Then it was DJ AM. He looked and sounded fantastic, even after all the awful shit that went down a few months ago. Dude has some kind of iron will. He killed it too, and I got asked to dance by a gay shirtless Native American wearing glowsticks and a headdress.

After DJ AM was Crystal Castles. But they blew. And I didn't really get to see them since I was stuck in the back of the crowd where the kids were either fucking or tripping balls. And there were these Asian girls in pink wigs and wedding dresses hopping around but I'd lump them into category two. But I did dance to "Crimewave." So you know, yeah.

So I met up with V after Crystal Castles. She'd successfully ditched craze boy No. 1 and we traveled over to the Justice stage.

Um, whoa. Justice smashed it. Por serio. The set started off sounding super sick and somehow V and I were separated once again. This is where craze boy No. 2 comes in. I swear I looked at him once, in glance form, and then he grabbed my hand and basically told me I was going to dance with him. For a split second I thought about it and then said "Okay." Then he basically proceeded to dirty dance with me, which was weird, but fun, and then he really got into it and I started looking around like "Hey, I'm being molested kinda" but, like I said, everyone was tripping balls and didn't care. This, kids, is why you should always bring a rape whistle with you. Pomona provides some excellent ones, I hear.

After awhile he said he had to go find his friend and once he left, I hightailed it to a different spot. Then Justice played "We Are Your Friends" as paper confetti rained down. It had to have been the longest DJ set ever went for like two hours. Then some club kids started making out, a girl stepped on my foot with her hooker boot, and some more kids started doing more ecstasy. And then someone played "A-Punk," which we had a ton of fun dancing to. Both V and I agreed that we were too tired to see Them Jeans (although he's still on my MUST SEE list) and so we walked the seven-ish flights of stairs (felt more like a milli) up the parking deck to my car where we sat for a bit, then made fun of the pseudo hipsters.

Finally, we stumbled into my apt and collapsed in our respective sleeping areas while watching Spice World. Hopefully I can toss in a few more event pics when they're available, or at least link up to this fab set I've stumbled upon. While I'm shitting bricks scared to go back for another HARD Haunted Mansion, I think I will if the line-up's as good as this year. Which brings me to something else. I have found my Halloween costume for next year:

That's right: I'm going to be Madeline. Only her blue uniform-ed version. Because, um, a chance to wear a capelet and white finger gloves at my age doesn't come everyday.

See you guys next year!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Filth And Wisdom

Dudes, it's pretty debatable as to whether or not Filth and Wisdom or Let The Right One In is the best movie of the year. This one was pretty fucking good. In Filth and Wisdom, we're lead by Andre or "A.K.", played by Eugene Hutz, who's the frontman for Gogol Bordello. He basically turns good people bad, and helps the secretly sinful satiate themselves. It's an amazing movie with awesome music, a seriously inspiring story, rock n' roll badassery, sex slaves, filth, wisdom, Britney Spears, British people, handlebar mustaches, Ukranian, and Bourbon in the bathtub.

You guys, you need to see this movie like you need to be awesome. As in immediately, and with haste. Pretty much, now that I've seen this movie, I'm gonna live my life like I'm the coolest person ever and it's going out of style. Like everyone should.