home is where the booze is

holy balls dudes and dudettes! i've been slacking hardcore over here. and for that i apologize. the internet is serious business and deserves to be treated with respect. the internet's a regular aretha franklin. MOVING ON, it turns out this past monday, august 22nd marks my one year anniversary of the day i rolled into this glittery, smog filled bat cave called LA. and it's pretty exciting, because it means i'm not dead and have survived this screwed up snowglobe-like city. which is a yay! moment. small accomplishments, people. i won't even get into the myriad of too-cool-por-school things i've gotten to do since moving here because why bother and i'm lazy.

so that's about it. it's quite exciting, and i will probably hang around this place for three or four more years and get into shit loads of stupid trouble, wear shitty clothes, and remain steadfast in my mission to convince everyone in los angeles that the cosby show is one of the best shows ever. CONSTANT VIGILANCE you guys. but who knows what kind of wacky things i'll end up doing around here? this place is like a carnival with lots of roads but no places to get a proper funnel cake (the world's most elusive outdoor event dessert).

so, hey, let's put some TI on and grab a few slices of pie, because it's about time we start having fun! (oh man i hope no one notices that i had no idea how to end this)

E

Turn Into A Jet (Like A Boss)

(via)

Things have been craze around here y'all. And when I say craze, I mean, eh, mildly worth mentioning, which is craze since it's more than normally happens. Sarah's still here, being awesome, and Olivia moved into a really cute house in LA, which Sarah will go to, one day, probably when I stop making her waffles for breakfast and tortilla strips when she's hungover. So, never. But when Sarah leaves it will officially mean things over here are back to normal, which is kinda sad, because the two of them being here was the most fun I've had in my six months of living in LA. I'm going to miss them. And probably get them a housewarming gift. I have an idea, but MDMA is pretty expensive, so I guess I'll just be making them ordinary brownies. Oh well.

How was everyone's Valentine's day? Sarah and I watched Bridget Jones' Diary and fell asleep on the floor. But the Friday before was fun. Sarah and Olivia and I got drunk and watched Bring It On: All Or Nothing and then I got some cake and then we walked to the liquor store but all I really remember is spilling my drinks a lot and falling and then telling them my plan to get acid with Sarah (the Fonder of the two) and going to Venice and painting with watercolors and then someone said, "Watercolors?!" but I'm not sure if that was a dream or not. Either way, fun.

On the subject of my love life (or lack thereof), I've been attempting to win over the hearts of the scruffy skateboarders on campus, but it's been generally unsucessful. I should perhaps think of better ways to get them to notice me other than staring at them nonstop from across the hall and then greedily eyeing their bags of Taco Bell. But that's just unfair because I don't have the energy to walk to TB. Of course if I had a skateboard I would go there! If I had a skateboard I could make all my transpo dreams come true.

This new Lily Allen album is also completely blowing my mind. Sarah (the Fondest one, again) gave me a copy of it two days ago (she got it on presale because she's so clever) and I've already listened to it four times. I've also put on "The Fear" and cleaned my kitchen while jumping and bouncing around like a crack addict, but be thankful you weren't there to witness that firsthand.

But that's basically it. My life is finally picking up and heading in the direction I envisioned and I'm almost a little proud that it only took 6 months in one of the toughest cities in the US for it to happen. The year is finally starting off for me and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fucking stoked for it. Things still bum me out, get me down, and defeat me. I still stand in front of my kitchen window smoking a cigarette and crying, and I still look to others for strength sometimes, but I also laugh more and love more and live more and that makes it all worth it. I've taken a lot of risks, made a lot of mistakes, and (hopefully) learned from all of them. I'm going to continue to work hard and play harder and if you wanna employ me, I'm a bomb ass employee. I know a lot about a little, but I like to learn and I have a fabulous work wardrobe. Really. I impress myself sometimes. Did I mention I need a job? Just checking.

E

You Can't Just Walk Into A Pageant And Expect To Win

So. Tomorrow is my last day in Atlanta. I have been here for almost an entire month, doing what I would like to call ineffectively attempting to pretend I never left. You can deny the change inside you, but it doesn't do you any good. So I can't keep denying I haven't been changing since I left Atlanta almost six months ago. I can't deny it especially because all this change is making me more into the person I really want to be.

BUT on a much lighter note, tomorrow is another installment in Criminal's Beer Thirty, their weekly midday show during which you can drink and listen to music. Ummm, awesome combo. And tomorrow is my favorite show to date: Los Campesinos!

Not only am I excited to see LC! live, but I'm excited to see them indoors, since Criminal Records used to be a lot smaller and in-store shows were outside...even in the dead of winter.

Oh also there will be cupcakes! I hope. I asked Lillian if I could bring some and hopefully I can! (ps: lillian if you read this before your mail, pls check your mail, gracias)

Basically, as this trip winds down, so does my old life. I want to close the door on it once and for all. It's like I was telling my friend, "I have a lot of things to take care of before I can really start this year." And I will. And it'll be HARD, but worth it? I hope? Say yes?

And so that's that. Well, tomorrow that will be that. Officially. And then I'll be back to LA, the land before time, where the rest of the country is at least an hour ahead of us.

Then again, I would take hearing about who won an Oscar later than everyone else over the 30 degree weather that is ravaging my beautiful body at the moment. Anyone read the forecast? It's fucking 70 degrees over in my hood.

Huh. I so did have somewhere I was going with this post right now, but I have no idea what it was. Perhaps that is a mental hint that I should go eat some of the doughnuts my mom brought home.

E

"The Only Time People In LA Are Nice To Me Is When They're On Drugs!" And What Else Happened at Bright Lights

If anyone remembers, or chooses to, or doesn't give a shit (I still love you), V and I went to the Bright Lights Fashion Show at the Regent/Safari Sam's downtown last Wednesday. Holy complicated run-on sentence Batman.

Due to some personal confusion (on my personal part), we got there two hours before it actually started. Because of this, I suggested we make a Hipster Bingo card. It was sweet. And we got to see Mossy Stone play. They were really good. I liked them a lot and the guy we deemed the Alt/Xavier hipster played in it. We found that to be pretty alt of him.

Then there was this girl, who was not only totally Missbehave, but a model and from afar, V thought she looked like Sarah Morrison. We then assessed that that was because she was hanging around the DJ booth. But she was badass. On the runway, homegirl started break dancing!


















I forgot to mention, the DJ was kinda not good. Like sort of too into his music to think about what he was playing. V drew a line chart describing this phenomenon. It kinda went like this:












Sorry guy. Better luck next time?

Then Ellei J came by and took our pictures. She asked me if I was going to blog about this. I said, excitedly, "Yes!" I looked like I was on X (-stacy, not -anax):

















Here's V. I think I can put her picture up. It might be creepy/illegal since I didn't ask her first. Oh well, I love lawsuits!
















And there was actual fashion too! Once the show started, things got better. Kaviar & Cigarettes was my favorite line that night. I mean, how cute are cigarette earrings? We found our favorite Alt Model (we, btw, used the word "alt" about 2438984038 times that night. We described everything with it. By probably misusing the word to an extreme level, we were pretty alt.), then there was this guy (when he came out I screamed, Is that Steve Aoki?!) and then an X-ed up guy gave us a hug on the street corner.

I said, "The only time people in LA are nice to me is when they're on drugs!"

Then the dudes from Saint Motel caught us walking away from the Regent/Safari Sam's/building and talked to us. Um, yeah, I'm not at liberty to disclose anything that followed. Because it was weird and creepy and it's best if only V and I know what happened.

Finally, after trying to find the alt model, and failing, we went to Pinkberry. Not really. I was trying to convince V to hit the strip club, but she said the club was sketchy on a Wednesday night. I countered by saying, "No, that's when they bring out their A game!"

E

"Chik-Fil-A Doesn't Exist Here" And All The Other Reasons Living In More Than One City Is Confusing

I took this picture while driving around. I had time to kill so I just drove and drove and drove through three counties. Funnily enough, I don't even remember in what county this picture was taken.

So I have been feeling really out of place here in LA. I haven't found anything that just makes me feel like I belong here. Not yet anyways. I think I want to leave, and then come back. I also think I want to go to New York. There's no denying how amazing it is. What I love is how you can live your own life and yet stay connected to the city simultaneously. It's such a living, breathing city. You can tell when its sad, or happy. You can feel it when New York holds its breath, and you can let out a sigh of relief when it does.

Anyways, totally NY unrelated, I have also been seriously thinking of going back to Atlanta. I will admit it has gotten a little bit funner (although the vast amounts of fun are still reserved for those 21+), I still feel like I should stay in LA a little longer. That is one of the things I love about LA. Not only are there OODLES of things to do for the under-car-renting-age crowd, but it's all right there, in your face. In Atlanta, you have to dig deep and seek out the fun. It takes time and patience, but then again, those aren't as popular in LA as they are in the South. Which brings me to something else. The South is sloooowww. LA is FAST! Move fast, live fast, meet people fast, do things fast, fast food, fast women, fast money, fast everything. ATL is slow cooked, slow churned, strolling along, hard work, perseverance, patience, blah blah and so forth. I don't know if I can handle that.

But I have been looking at apts in Atlanta and I could save a ton of money by moving back there. We're talking 800 for a studio apt to 675 for a one bedroom. With a washer/dryer in it!

A part of me feels like if you go to LA, you should be ready for it. You have to be prepared to fully open your arms and your mind to everything it has to offer, or else you'll be sad, disappointed, and lonely. Only now am I ready to immerse myself in LA, and funnily enough, I'm not really ready at all.

So Alex, if you do want to write that book about me, don't do it in pen, because you'll probably get tired of scratching things out over and over again.

E

Cat On A Cactus!

So the pics from the CD x Revolve party are up! Here's the whole album, but I picked a few photos of the people I knew, so you know, I could say I knew them and you guys would know I'm not crazy. Even though I'm crazy.

Oh and I totes need to work on my party pic faces. I don't get it. I stand in front of the mirror for at least 45 min before every party I go to, making faces and expressions and I always look stupid in every picture I take a said party. It's a vicious cycle.

Alright, here's me and Ellei. What is going on? Why am I waving? Where I am looking to? Why the hell did I cover up my POP sweater with my free scarf? I look like I was Photoshopped into this picture. I wasn't though, swearz.

Here's Skye. She was jammin' in the DJ booth. I think she told me she knew Posso. She showed me this pair of sequined leggings which were beyond the beyond.

This dude was the shiznat. As soon as I walked into Revolve he took me aside, told me I was the cutest thing ever, and said that I could have anything I wanted and needed, as long as I stuck with him. He introduced me to Skye, actually. Then he started getting pretty tipsy and asked me if I could tell he was drunk. I said no, obvi.

Alright. That's it. Just so you know I'm not crazy. Just un-photogenic. Oh and cat on a cactus is totes my new catchphrase. It's thebomb.com, basically.

E

Last Night A DJ Saved My Life

Holy cat on a cactus you guyz, last night was too much fun! After being unfairly and stupidly stood up by this dude who asked ME to go to the bike shop with him, I was thoroughly miffed but determined to have an awesome sauce day nonetheless.

I basically wasted my day making useless phone calls and standing in front of the mirror, looking at my outfit from different angles, until about 5:00 pm, when I swung by the Costume Dept/Revolveclothing party.

It was...um amazing. Posso killed it and I basically stood around looking sad and lonely and awkward until this dude named Jeremy (uh I think? Or maybe Brandon?) took me under his wing and introduced me to the dudes running shit. I met the designer and owner of the store. Then I ran into Skye Ferreira who was saying that there was another girl named Erika who was on Missbehave, when I said, "I'm that girl!" And then there were wide eyes and hugging and she proceeded to introduce me to a few more people. And then I had some of her champagne sno-cone. And it was delicious.

Oh yeah, did I mention they were popping bottles all night? Por serio. Champagne was coming out of the woodwork. And they were screenprinting scarves. Mine's kinda cool. And the sno-cones were amazing. People were mixing them with champagne and it was fantastic.

After that I headed over to the clothing area of the store when someone put a camera in my face and took a picture. That's when I ran into Ellei J! She looked super familiar so I said, "What's your name?"

She said, "Ellei."

I said, "I'm Erika from Missbehave."

Then we hugged and bounced around for awhile and she introduced me to a few more people. Then we exchanged numbers and she hopped around taking pictures.

I was on the dance floor, live-texting and bopping around to the awesome music mix, when this chick named Carol and this dude named Tay started talking to me. It turns out Carol is a big proponent of underage drinking because she thinks, "21 is too old." She then proceeded to give me extensive tips on how and where to get drinks. Oh and then Tay gave me a flyer for his band's gig at the Bordello downtown.

I dipped out around 7:30 after saying goodbye to everyone and then went to Amoeba and bought another Bikini Kill album, prompting the clerk and I to have an extensively awesome conversation about Kathleen Hanna, Bikini Kill, and L7.

I had a camera with me but I was sorta afraid to use the flash (at the risk of looking tourist-y) so I don't have pictures. But that's okay because Ellei took a ton of them so when they're up I link to those. Oh! And I took a picture with Ellei. She's so bouncy, it's really rad. When we hugged goodbye, we hooked ears and I said, "That's never happened to me before."

And she said, "I think I have big ears."

I think I can now say I am acclimated to LA!

E

Free Show For Those With Nothing Better To Do Tonight

Do you live in LA? Are you bored? Have you no friends?

Good!

Head over to the 3rd St Promenade tonight in Santa Monica and see Links live at the Apple Store. Por libre! Free! No cost.

I've actually seen a band live at an Apple Store and it's a fun time. Go. Please. Make friends, listen to indie dance music, have a ball. We are your friends. You'll never be alone again, so come on.

E

East Coast Or West Coast Bitches?

So Public Domain just came out with two new shirts for each of the long dueling, unequally amazing coasts. Duh, because I'm an LA kid for life, I pick West Coast. I'm pretty sure everyone lives here. But I have reason to believe some of you are dwelling on the East, and even more surprising is the fact that a few of you may be living in the grey space between the coasts!


E or W. Take your pick ladies. And then cop the shirt, because it's only 20.00. We'll all get together, wear them, get really drunk, and then get geographically belligerent! Holiday memories for everyone!

"If I Were A Rapist, I Would Come Here"

So you guys are probably expecting a full rundown of the debauchery that was Hard Haunted Mansion.

Sadly, I wanted to carry as little with me as possible (for dancing purposes) and so all I had on me was money, keys, phone, and gum (which the bitch at the front confiscated from me! I was like, bitch, this ain't food, it's appetite suppressant!), but no camera. So I will be referencing events and occasions using Whoopi's pictures as they are awesomer than whatever I could have taken. Also of note is the fact that for about thirty or forty minutes, and then a few more fifteen minute stints, V and I were separated from one another. This is, of course, because of craze boys, packed dancefloors, people trains, and the need to get a drink of water. So compare stories, ogle at pictures, and pretend you were there. Don't worry, enough ecstasy and soon it'll happen.

Things started off um, glitchy. We basically drove past the freeway exit to get to the venue, then wound up in Carson City (which is crap-ay), and had to turn around. But then we did pick up McDonald's, and did a little In N Out v McDonald's. Which I won. In my mind.

We did finally get to the Expo Hall, an hour after doors opened, and then proceeded to stand in line for another hour and a half while we got pushed and shoved by people trains, aka, the most annoying invention ever. Basically, six or eight or twenty two people join hands and walk through a crowd. These goddamn trains are unbreakable, and like real ones, never seem to end. I got ambushed by a group of girls wearing cheetah dresses. And then Robin pushed me. And then we found Waldo!

So once we were inside, we tried to find Simian Mobile Disco, but stumbled onto some Special Guest DJ instead. This is where the first craze boy of the night comes in. He started talking to V, and eventually, I was moved father back into the crowd, sort of completely losing sight of them. But I was getting my Jesus groove on, so I didn't notice. Guest DJ dude basically killed it. In the middle of all the club music, near the end of the set, he switched it up and played "Simon Says (Get the Fuck Up)" by Pharoahe Monche (for all you old school hip-hoppers), which was bananas. For like two magical minutes, all the ravers got crunk. It was awesome. Oh, but then this dude pushed me and I was about to go "Hey, don't fucking push me" but then he threw up right next to me and I just had to leave the area.

Then it was DJ AM. He looked and sounded fantastic, even after all the awful shit that went down a few months ago. Dude has some kind of iron will. He killed it too, and I got asked to dance by a gay shirtless Native American wearing glowsticks and a headdress.

After DJ AM was Crystal Castles. But they blew. And I didn't really get to see them since I was stuck in the back of the crowd where the kids were either fucking or tripping balls. And there were these Asian girls in pink wigs and wedding dresses hopping around but I'd lump them into category two. But I did dance to "Crimewave." So you know, yeah.

So I met up with V after Crystal Castles. She'd successfully ditched craze boy No. 1 and we traveled over to the Justice stage.

Um, whoa. Justice smashed it. Por serio. The set started off sounding super sick and somehow V and I were separated once again. This is where craze boy No. 2 comes in. I swear I looked at him once, in glance form, and then he grabbed my hand and basically told me I was going to dance with him. For a split second I thought about it and then said "Okay." Then he basically proceeded to dirty dance with me, which was weird, but fun, and then he really got into it and I started looking around like "Hey, I'm being molested kinda" but, like I said, everyone was tripping balls and didn't care. This, kids, is why you should always bring a rape whistle with you. Pomona provides some excellent ones, I hear.

After awhile he said he had to go find his friend and once he left, I hightailed it to a different spot. Then Justice played "We Are Your Friends" as paper confetti rained down. It had to have been the longest DJ set ever though...it went for like two hours. Then some club kids started making out, a girl stepped on my foot with her hooker boot, and some more kids started doing more ecstasy. And then someone played "A-Punk," which we had a ton of fun dancing to. Both V and I agreed that we were too tired to see Them Jeans (although he's still on my MUST SEE list) and so we walked the seven-ish flights of stairs (felt more like a milli) up the parking deck to my car where we sat for a bit, then made fun of the pseudo hipsters.

Finally, we stumbled into my apt and collapsed in our respective sleeping areas while watching Spice World. Hopefully I can toss in a few more event pics when they're available, or at least link up to this fab set I've stumbled upon. While I'm shitting bricks scared to go back for another HARD Haunted Mansion, I think I will if the line-up's as good as this year. Which brings me to something else. I have found my Halloween costume for next year:

That's right: I'm going to be Madeline. Only her blue uniform-ed version. Because, um, a chance to wear a capelet and white finger gloves at my age doesn't come everyday.

See you guys next year!

Everything I Need To Know About LA I Learned From Sarah Morrison

Some new things I have learned while being poor, lonely, and mildly adorable in LA:

Cigarettes can be used in exchange for giving bums money. This works out if you are like me and are not really a big smoker but somehow always have a cigarette and no money on you.

Paper clips = bobby pins. I ran out of things to hold my hair up with this morning (bobby pins, clips, pencils) so I bent a paper clip. Voila! Insta-bobby pin.

Don't wear long jackets. Someone asked me how much I was charging when I did.

Corn is just as good a meal as it is a side dish. Sometimes I eat it right out of the can. Sprinkle on some salt and pep and you have dinner for .65!

Dig up your VCR. Movies on tape are like .99 nowadays.

Valley girls really do exist. Enough said.

Have nice hair. It's the only thing you'll ever get complimented on.

The end.

Oh, and be a good blogger. Not like me, who wastes posts with silly comics and useless observations. Just a little longer until my bf ships me my old White Rice drafts, and then things will get really neat! Promise!

And make sure to keep it sexy.

Deuces,
Erika

They Can Really Get Some Distance

Ohmahgawwwwd you guys. I've wanted to take a picture of this for soooo long. Either I don't have time because the light's green or the bum who has the 10pm to dawn shift is standing in front of it. But tonight I succeeded! Check this ish: the Dim Mak logo, on a one way sign right off the 405 freeway in North Hills, in the Valley. Just think, somewhere in his LA helipad/apt, Steve Aoki is smiling to himself. Oh well probably others too.


Deuces,
Erika