Saturday, October 17, 2009

ugly betty is tearing up my heart, n'sync style, you guys!

jiminy christmas, did anyone in the blogosphere watch last night's premiere of ugly betty season 4?! wait, what? people had lives and were actually out of their houses and hanging with friends and not trying to delay cold death on the living room sofa just a few moments longer and find something to occupy their dusty old mindprunes after degrassi went off and basically just shouting non-sequiturs to their wall, like "THAT IS FUCKED UP!" and "THIS OVEN COOKED PIZZA IS SO GOOD! IT REALLY ISN'T DELIVERY!" no? really? oh, well, then i may be in this ugly betty tizzy by myself. "um, good sir, may i have a TV-induced tizzy for one, please?" "yes, why yes you may. have fun dying alone." "thank you, sir!"

BASICALLY betty got a new job working as the associate features editor and she's over the fucking moon about it (who wouldn't be?! besides someone who got demoted but we don't even have TIME for demotions in the fashion industry! too busy trying to force body images on young girls and make sure those yards of crinoline come in! spring/summer '10 is gonna be SO BIG on crinoline, you guys. maybe.) and she's dealing with the new scenario of working for her ex-boyfriend matt who made a total cunt move and took the job to be her boss once she punched him in the heart with a bulldozer glove (not a real thing, but i am actively seeking a backer to make it HAPPEN!), not to mention we've got this new thing with justin, everyone's favorite teenager, just entering high school. plus christina's gone, daniel's grieving over dead wife ashes, wilhelmina is sheltering her murderous daughter nico (ps omg YAYA from TOP MODEL?! pinch me until i die please!!), trying to find connor for some good, old fashioned extortion (american values, left and right, y'all) and STILL trying to take over mode. WHOO! busy bees up in this hive this season! and that's just the tip of the fucking honey pot!

instead of going further into the episode, which you can watch in full HERE, can i just say how much i supremely love and identify with this season? the whole feeling of being super excited about something you've been trying to do forever and finally achieved and then feeling like you don't even fit in with that crowd which simultaneously crushes your dream bubble and makes you work harder so you can justify singing "survivor" by destiny's child at karaoke, and having to come in daily contact with a person you cared for and accidentally screwed up with that is repeatedly ignoring you and immaturely fucking you over constantly? and being bullied in high school because you're different and no one likes change and you really ARE that kid with the bright pink gucci shirt eating alone in the lunch room because the bathroom stalls are rank and you can't have food in the library and then feeling like you can only talk about it to someone who isn't your parent and your parent is pissy mcangrypants that you didn't come to them? and you feel stuck in the middle while also trying to navigate your own fucked up adolescent issues? and missing someone that was taken from your life way too soon and lashing out by alternating between anger and tears? can i just say i identify with all of that and so this season excites me just a tad bit more than the prospect of getting laid? JUST A TAD?

whatevs. i'm stoked. if you didn't catch it last night, i suggest you watch it! tears won't cry themselves and hearts don't warm automatically! well, maybe if they were robot hearts, but i would need some proof of you being a robot. THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!