A lot of tiny creatures in my life don't like me. Stray cats run from my touch. Babies pout at the sight of me. Woodland animals scatter upon my entrance. Toddlers see me and go the other way.
Sometimes my dog ignored me. I don't know what's wrong with me. It makes me worry about having children.
I'm pretty sure I want to have some. I'm also pretty sure I hate children. When I babysat, it was always tiring and grueling. I charged 4.00 an hour to babysit a brother and sister who pretty much watched themselves. But I still hated watching those children's TV shows. There was one DVD with a mouse/rabbit that spoke complete gibberish. Then there was Spot the Dog. That show was okay I guess. I thought it was inappropriate for them to call Helen Hel, though. It seemed wrong for children's TV.
Anyway, young children in my old neighborhood were constantly accosting me, even when I wasn't doing anything involving them. I would just be hanging out, talking to friends, when they would join convos. I would say mean spirited things to them, like "Leave us alone!" They remained undeterred. I would ask if they had friends their own age. They would answer yes. I would then say, "Why don't you hang out with them?" Unyielding. We took the convos inside.
Then, when I'm in any public place...grocery store, movie theatre, bathroom, mall, parking lot, what have you...there's always a badass kid doing stupid shit and a parent not controlling him. This happens to me in dressing rooms of shitty clothing retailers like Target or Kohl's. There's a little boy that always wants to try to peek under your door, like a little asshole in training. Parents stand there helpless while he stares at women oddly.
And then there's my personal family. I am not good with them either. When my cousin was about one and a half, I tried to hold her while stepping over a baby gate simultaneously. I was only about eight. I dropped her on her ass. This occurred again, only headfirst. I don't hold babies anymore from the trauma she/I endured.
I also worked at the Sanrio store for six kid filled months. Thanks to this prison sentence, I hate Hello Kitty and yet can rattle off all her friends by heart. It also really impressed into me a deep hate for spoiled little brats. And their parents.
My boyfriend told me if he ever has kids, he doesn't want them to turn out like me. He said this in regards to my eating habits, which are pretty childlike. He says that grilled cheese covered in ketchup and hot sauce, pickles with pepper, hot dogs and pudding, and Spaghetti-O's straight from the can are weird meal choices. I go, pssssh! I was raised on hot sauce. He just doesn't get it.
But then I thought...if I do have kids, do I want them to turn out like me? Drinking at 14, pot at 16, virginity gone at 18...hanging out with 20 somethings at 17 and networking to get into 21+ shows underage? I'm not sure if I would be disappointed or impressed. Or just send them off to boarding school in France?
Sunday, August 31, 2008
A lot of tiny creatures in my life don't like me. Stray cats run from my touch. Babies pout at the sight of me. Woodland animals scatter upon my entrance. Toddlers see me and go the other way.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
I know I have touched on this subject before...but here I am again! Recently, what with not having cable, I've been practically living on the internet. I have also been stumbling upon a lot of good fashion blogs lately. Personally, I can't really stand fashion blogs because they irk me. For some reason, everything always seems so contrived. The poses, the perfection of the details, the looks on their faces...Whatev. It's sort of hard for me to put my irritation into words. Conversely, I also really like looking at them because I like to see how other people put clothing together.
But yet again, I see one common denominator. These chicks are skinnier than most. Not model skinny, of course, but that kind of thin that makes them look good in anything. Like, I know fashion blogs are not for replication, but it's like...of course these girls look good in ripped tights and a home-sewn minidress...when you're slim, it's hard to look bad in a lot of things that are fashionable. I mean, I don't know. I guess on the one hand I just want there to be average looking girls doing these fashion blogs. Can't a size 6 start documenting what she wears everyday? And on the other hand, it's not my job to solely regulate body size for fashion blogs. I mean, really.
Oh well. I am a study in contradictions. I would start documenting what I wore, but that would just be cliche and yet another heel-print in the worn down path of self-promotion. Life is confusing, and annoying, and fattening. Fashion is too.
What is the real message here? I need cable.
So I believe I got a request from a Miss Alex about posting up pics of my new place, and I'm more than happy to oblige! Plus I don't have anything to talk about. Photos usually distract from that.And here, ladies and gents, is my bedroom. It's pretty awesome. The blue Grizzly Bear poster and the huge ass byoP poster I got free from Criminal Records. The Pipettes poster and the Nicole Atkins poster were both looted from the venue after said concert. The dark pink poster with the face on it is actually from the New Young Pony Club album. I got the MIA bandana free, too...but it's a long story...and I got that red poster from this awesome ATL concert for Stomp And Stammer Magazine...The Black Lips, Deerhunter, Snowden, and the Selmanaires...all for 15.oo, and I won tickets for it on the radio. Sometimes Atlanta's pretty cool. Usually not.
In case you can't tell, my calendar is by Donny Miller. In case you aren't familiar with his awesomeness, read up. You can also read the running dialogue between me and V. Those Feist pictures are actually postcards that my old boss from the radio station gave me. I had 4 but I gave two to my boyfriend since he likes B&W photos so much. It's an artist thing. The cool thing about that Matt & Kim poster is that my boyfriend actually got Kim to sign it for me as an early birthday present. We saw them when they came to the Whirlyball as a part of the Fuck Yeah Fest, and they were awesome. Matt even hugged me! Kim and I talked too, and she laughed at how excited I was. And as you can see, I've collected all the MIA for Marc Jacobs ads...mostly because I like MIA but I love Juergen Teller.
The pink Boris poster was free from an in-store at Criminal Records (they played ONE song and it lasted about 15 minutes!) and the Arctic Monkeys poster was from when they played at the Tabernacle about 2 years ago. It was fresh off the release of their latest album. And all the
8.5 x 11 glossies were pulled from Nylon or Missbehave.
Wow, that was cool. I sort of felt like I was featured on Todd Selby's site for a second. Huh. Oh yeah, and this is my bike. My boyfriend made me take a billion pictures of it. I always joke that he's only into bike porn.
I ride it to school about 3 times a week, which saves a good bit of gas, but takes twice as long. Oh well. Every time I get tired riding it, I think to myself, I'm gonna be so skinny by the end of this year! And then I press on. Motivation, kids. Motivation.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Ahhh thank God it's FINALLY Fri-motherfucking-day!
Let's recap, shall we?
This week I started classes, bought a bike, bought textbooks, skipped classes, made new friends, skyrocketed my phone bill by talking endlessly to my boyfriend, got my school ID made, unpacked, paid my utilities, and got locked out of my apartment.
You know, fun stuff!
How was everyone else's week?
In celebration of the big F-day, Valentina (of Savage Sunshine notoriety) and I are heading over to W. Hollywood for some good ol' fashioned debauchery. More on that later, naturally. And in other crizazy news, McCain has picked a VP. Drumroll please...I give you Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska. Yep...a woman. How long can Hillary keep these feelings inside before she just goes postal?
Now I bid you adieu. Divorce Court beckons.
Banzai bitches! And happy birthday Olivia, the red-headiest Missbehave girl ever! Seal hugs! Wow, Sarah Morrison is good with keeping up with birthdays!
So I'm watching this show, Moment of Truth...I guess I'm a little late on it now since the show's been on for awhile (but I don't have cable yet in this apt, soooo)...but I just don't get it. I mean, I guess it's a good social commentary on just how ruthlessly greedy people can be nowadays. But it's just ridiculous. The questions are stupid:"Do you think your coworker looks ugly in that dress?" And not only that, but this quote/unquote audience? I think it might be comprised of tapes that go "OOoooOOOohhh" and "Ohhhhhh!" and applaud. There also might be a hint of a laugh track in there too; it's hard to tell.
Anyway, so what I'm really getting at is the contestants. They're retarded. They have too many secrets. And not even that; they have too many bad, personal secrets. See, I would never go on the show because my secrets would hurt my family, friends, etc too much if they knew about them. BUT. If I was one of those very bland people whose biggest "don't tell" was that they once picked a wedgie while they were in an unoccupied stairway in 8th grade, then I would totally sign up. Sure, it would make for bad TV, but at least I would make some serious bank.
And they say being boring doesn't pay. Wait, wait. No they don't.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Oftentimes people tell me I'm cool. Not in the Fonzie way, since I'm not blessed with the ability to make electrical items work by hitting them with my girly fists. But in the interesting, neat way. And yes, even in this day and age, I still say neat. And awesome, in the 80's after school special way. I call dudes dudes and guy things dude things. Like, this is a dude's shirt or a dude's color or a dude's car. And I still call all girls chicks. And chicks I don't "get" are called broads. I don't see what's so cool about me.
I get referred to as cool on this blog sometimes. Like one person that said she wished she was as cool as I was when she was in high school. Well I'm not in high school anymore, but I'm not sure I was too cool then. Or now, for that matter.
And what's stranger is that the majority of people that think I'm cool don't even read this blog. The Disco has been kept abso hidden from my family, friends, and odd acquaintances for reasons that are obvi. They still find what I have to say, what I do, how I think...awesome cool. My roommates told me I was really cool. I told them bashfully, "Oh, I'm really not very interesting, I promise."
Perhaps it is because I play the drums. Maybe because I was in a riot grrrl band named after an obscure Great Gatsby reference. Or since I used to work at a radio station. Perhaps it is because I still wear my caps backwards, do the "Peace Up, A-Town Down" sign to dudes I know. Or because I can handle my alcohol, keep it real before it goes wrong, beat my boyfriend at wrestling, watch every television show and still recall individual details from respective seasons, or because I once sewed my own skirt and then wore it to school. Maybe it's because I still collect vinyl, own Anime movies, maintain the belief that plaid and stripes don't have to match, they just have to "go", can quote lines from Clueless, The Godfather, Breakfast at Tiffany's, and The Way We Were. Or due to the fact that I collect the same kinds of earrings in every color, re-use Tic Tac boxes for pencil lead and chocolate boxes for accessories, collaged my lighter, hang my necklaces on nails in the wall, can make fried apples (decently), have a laugh like a black Fran Drescher, and can totally talk like Lois in Family Guy.
But none of this equals cool to me. It's just me, being normal boring me. Cool to me is like chicks who can just get out there and do shit, awesome shit, without giving a shit. See how many times I said shit? A chick's radness is directly proportional to how many times you can say shit to describe what she does. A badass, cool chick to me, is like Stephanie Luke AKA Rusty Coathanger (she's the one with black sunglass btw), from the awesome sauce ATL band the Coathangers. Or Karen O. Or the Missbehave girls. Or Jemina Pearl from Be Your Own Pet (RIP), or Suzi Quatro. Women that can go down in the history books as being cool as shit.
So I can't be that cool. Plus in the future kids won't read textbooks, so it's pointless.
So I kind of hate Myspace. It's really just a way for uber creepy dudes to spam you like crazy and leave way disturbing messages in your inbox talking about your obvious sexiness or DSL-related oddness. It's also a way for any one single person at your school to find you, say some shit, and still remain completely anonymous. Oh yeah, and it's a way for Myspace hoes to fill your bulletin folder with different methods pertaining to fucking them. You know, so you have options.
But lately I have been on Myspace far too much, you know, chatting with people I enjoy chatting with, but I have also been following this ongoing Myspace drama that's been unfolding in the bulletins folder faster than wet origami.
I assume everything started off with a rumor. Some girl is left confused because she doesn't know what was said or what she's accused of doing. Then apparently her "bff" is unforgiving. Fast forward a million "what did I do?" bulletins later. Said "bff" has blocked some girl on Myspace. Some girl changes her screen name to something of the "Oh No You Didn't" variety. She tells the "bff" that she's done kissing ass and that all her "friends" can kick rocks. All of this, of course, is spelled in Lolcatz. Then some girl changes her screen name to a variation of "Fine Fuck You." I assume from that the "friendship" has been e-dissolved.
Oh, and I have been watching a lot of Divorce Court lately. I really need cable.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Oh gawd, forgive me shirts. I know for a brief minute I forsook you all for tunics and dresses. But I have returned. It'll be like I never left, y'know? I'll wear you and wash you (following all the instructions on the tag with care and zeal) and pet your softness and spot treat you when a stain begins to harass your downy fibers...just like old times. Now, having said that, I want these shirts:
Cardboard Robot hotness.
Hellz Bellz knocking the usual bitches out the usual boxes.
Married To The Mob offering wise advice to fiscally unaware bitches.
Rebel Eight killin' it as usual.
Someone(s) please but one(them) for me so I won't feel so sad about not having friends here in California. Clothes are the new bffs. Closets are the new Barbie Dreamhouse.
Oh, and I've pulled a V and named this post after a song. Can anyone guess who sings it?
Monday, August 25, 2008
Every morning since I moved in, I have been waking up to an empty apartment. My roommates are all gone by the time I open my eyes. I used to think it was because they just had a lot of shit to do early in the day, but now I'm thinking it's because they secretly hate me because I have food in the fridge, a room to myself, and the only TV with cable in my room. Maybe it really is the former, but that wouldn't be as awesome.
I thought this would be like perpetual summer camp. When will we start braiding hair, baking cupcakes, and trading Powerpuff Girls stickers?
Mis ideas son todavia no bueno. Tambien es mi espanol.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Normally, good song jacking commercials don't phase me all that much. Yeah, I got annoyed when they used "Home" by Great Northern and "You're A Wolf" by Sea Wolf to sell cars, and Santogold songs to sell just about anything else. But this is just too much. All advertisers out there, please leave Justice alone. They are getting used and abused more than a cheap hooker's vag. And I can't take it! I love Justice and take everything that happens to them personally. Okay...I may be crazy, but oh well! Keep selling your shit with semi-successful indie tunes, but don't you ever lay another fat finger on my Gaspard and Xavier (who I'm going to marry btw. It'll be a double groom wedding with Zach Condon, obvi).
Now, for your entertainment and loathing, peep the many unJustices that have occurred. The more you know...erm...the better you are than other people, I guess.
A sick misuse of "Genesis" to market denim:
The wanton use of "Waters of Nazareth" for the new season of ABDC
And finally this Cadillac ad I'm unable to embed. So you see, it's just getting out of hand. Justice are my homeboys (well, in my mind they are) and I won't stand for this over-commercialization any longer! Thank you and goodnight.
I have just discovered something very amazing. It was a supreme revelation. It was an epiphany. It was...a rebirth of thought!
I have just discovered that French people are the coolest people ever! I know I should have known this, and to a degree I did, but after looking at some pictures of French people and then reading words in French, and then listening to some music in French, it really hit me that these people are awesome!
So sry Brits, I think you just got replaced in my heart. And come on Swedes, you're slacking. All that soft, flaxen hair, those knitted sweaters and peaceful attitudes, and that penchant for eating animals wrapped in animals...you guys have all the advantages to becoming number one! But for now, the French have won.
Thus I am now going to live everyday like I am in some French art flick from the seventies. But with clothes.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
I'm here, I'm fierce, and I'm not going anywhere! Well, except downstairs to get some El Pollo Loco. Yum...chicken and lemonade...
So things are pretty cool here. Last night I hung around Hollywood for awhile. I pretty much plan to befriend all Hollywood inhabitants because they have access to the good drugs and a lot of money. That's something I could really get behind.
My apartment isn't anything special...just two bedrooms, a living room. kitchen, balcony (for when midterm exams come and I really need to end it all fast), the usual. Weird that my roommate isn't here yet. Actually, I've been the only person here since 9 am. It's kinda cool/eerie. I still have to buy a TV so I don't become a complete hermit. But yeah, everything's pretty chillza here.
School is a different story. There is a mad frenzy at the bookstore because not only can you register to vote there today, the cast of Greek is filming...and I guess talking to devoted, slobbering girl fans as well. I don't know. I haven't gone. I don't even watch Greek, and if I did, I doubt I'd want to meet the cast. Unless I could run down there and jump in a scene or something...maybe flash some deuces and shout a "holla!" really quick? Or throw on my "I Want To Be Sarah Morrison When I Grow Up Shirt"? Either options.
That's pretty much it, I guess. Hey V, will you go ahead and email me when you read this? Grazie. And pictures will be up soon...when I have time to take a deep breath, and I don't feel so lethargic. Can anyone else believe I just drove four fucking days to be here?! Straight up ridic.
Oh yeah, and the post picture is the note I left for my roomie. I had to go drop my mom off and I wasn't sure whether or not she would be in when I came back, so I courteously left a note. I mean, I'm so sweet, right?
Friday, August 22, 2008
Hey hey hey from Flagstaff, Arizona! There's really nothing cool about this place either, to be honest with you. Today's beautiful temperature is 100*! And I've seen a place that specializes in Birkenstocks. Meh.
However, my mom and I got extremely excited when we noticed that the Hardees places had turned into Carl's Jr's. Oh, and in Arizona, they give you free green chile with your meal. Ole!
So only six more hours till I'm in LA! The fact that I'm this close to a dream I've had since my sophomore year of high school is still baffling me! It's like when you meet your hero, only I don't think I'll be very disappointed about this one...
Oh and I think I accepted a marriage proposal last night.
I'll tell you about it later.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Guess where I am everyone? Amarillo, Tex-ass! It took about twelve hours for us to get here, since my mom and I can never get to bed early anywhere where there's a TV present. So far we've been through Memphis, TN, Alabama, Arkansas (oooh, flatland!), and Sarah's proud and mighty land of Oklahoma. (I took some pictures of the sunset there that I'll put up when I have more time!) In OK, we saw cows as far as the eye can see and then we remarked about the racial segregation that is so prevalent between black cows, white cows, and my bovine counterparts, the mixed brown cows. So far we have driven 1300 miles for two and a half days. Believe me, this is not getting more fun.
So I guess I should go now. Later, when I'm in Flagstaff or LA I'll update everyone once more. I'll see you too soon V! And happy birthday to Alex, who offish became OLD when she turned twenty on Tuesday. Tuesday, right?
Anyway, thank god for wi-fi, right? Also, I'm missing my boyfriend so badly. I'm scared we've put ourselves in a long distance relationship, but it's because we don't want to see other people. We want each other. I'm not sure if we really ever broke up. Every time we talk on the phone, we cry. Whenever I read one of his texts I cry. Just typing this paragraph up is making me teary eyed. But more on that sordid affair later!
Byeeee fooooor noooooooowwwwww!!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
When reading this, bear in mind that it was written at about 3-something am. So it happened on Monday, k? Thx...
So today, my now ex-boyfriend came over and helped me pack. Everything was so awesome. We could talk and joke and laugh with an easiness we didn't have before. It was like back when we first started dating and we loved being around each other and had fun. The tension, unease, and sadness was gone. We could look at each other and know what we were thinking.
After we had dinner, he helped me pack a little more. I still have shit to pack up, of course, because we got distracted a lot, joking around and finding everything funny. Right before he left, he made me come outside and then he just held me. For a long time, we didn't speak. Then we did, and it was all good things. I told him to put things in perspective. He told me to never say I couldn't do anything. Tears were shed and memories recounted. It was the perfect way to end things. He swore to me he would be in LA in April. I guess that means you'll get to meet this great guy, V!
Then he told me that I was it. I was all he wanted. I told him I hoped he would find a girl that made him so happy, he forgot about how sad he was because of this. He said it would never happen, because there wasn't anyone else for him. Perhaps we really are soulmates, but we're going to have to meet up a lot later in life for it to work.
Oh yeah, and I'm leaving in about six hours to embark on a crazy four day drive to the Valley to start school. I'll see you in LA, V! I sort of hope Sarah Morrison makes a comeback to LA, too. This is it kids. The end.
Monday, August 18, 2008
This just in: I do not want to work for Diddy. But I do want a muffin top. These things are delicious. They are literally like the tops of muffins, stuck together in clusters of four like mini-waffles. And they taste delicious. It's all too easy to eat about sixteen of them, but that's only like having two whole muffins right? Normal, right?
Now everyone talk about these ill-named breakfast snacks and then tell me your favorites!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
All images courtesy of vh1
So Diddy is in the market for a new personal assistant. He rounds up twelve people, puts them in two teams (uptown and downtown), and then throws them all over New York while they perform various and ridiculous tasks for him.
This is lame. The Making the Band kids were doing this back when Diddy was shutting the studio down. They got him cheesecake. These scavenger hunts are nothing new.
For the first episode, he had them doing 50 crazy things. They had to learn the art of multitasking, which involves dressing mannequins and making Diddy fresh fruit salads. Photos of nonsense after the nonexistent jump.
Needless to say, both teams do not know the art of multitasking and thus didn't finish all their tasks. There was hell to pay.
For the latest episode, Diddy tossed them into a forest where you could only find the directions by answering obscure Puff Daddy trivia, like when exactly he changed his name from Puff Daddy to P. Diddy. These people don't know anything about Diddy and are answering questions based on what they have read off Wikipedia. Every so often, they cut back to a video of Diddy sitting in a chair providing motivational words.
There is a girl on here, who is, how should I say...next-level. Her name is Kim and she goes by "Poprah." She calls her teammates amateurs and is apparently knocking bitches out the box, a la Hellz Bellz, if you will. But her hair is pretty. I can say that.
Is anyone watching this craziness? Does anyone personally want to work for Diddy? No bitchassness? Punch punch?
I am running out of post ideas. Maybe blogging master Sarah Morrison can help? Things are not flowing out of my mind freely and without warning. She is thinking about bookmarking my page so only say nice things about her girls! We will make her shitty days great! Right?
On a positive note, I am watching the Aqua Teen Movie for the second time. On a negative note, my boyfriend yelled at me in the car. It was like one of those ishes where dudes hit you and then say, "I am so sorry, I only do it because I love you." Only insert verbal slaps instead of physical ones.
We got a six pack of Sweetwater Ale and a box of rainbow M&M cookies and ate them on the roof tonight. Then I got to sit down and watch the Britcoms while Clint modeled his new amp and my boyfriend picked up his old mail.
Too bad this night could not have been documented con photos and such. Sry everyone. I left my camera in the living room.
Dinner was fantastic. I love chicken and fish tacos and fetus burritos. Those are burritos big enough to be fetuses, just to clear that up. Kay...Oh and then we hung out at the sewer runoff and had some more beer. Yes, this really is how boring my life is. It's not exciting due to my prominent cult blogger status. I'm not off signing headshots at conventions, or doing flaming shots with Brazilian showgirls.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Tonight is my going away party! That song, "Goodbye" by the Postmarks will be playing in my head. I didn't organize it, some of my friends did. I'm excited because someone else is driving me home. It's all a part of my friends' master plan to get me as drunk as possible so they can use me as a source of entertainment while they remain completely sober. My goal is to wake up in the same place I fell asleep. If not, I'm aiming for a three mile radius.
Everyone seems sad enough, since I'm leaving this hell hole called Atlanta for the Valley on Tuesday. It's a four day drive I'm not looking forward to.
I hope tonight goes well! The party is at El Mexicano, which has the best Mexican food in the city...well aside from going to a Mexican person's house and having them make you dinner. The last time I saw a going away party, a giant monster destroyed half the city, someone dropped the video camera, and a skinny white girl got impaled.
Oh wait, that was Cloverfield. Sry.
Friday, August 15, 2008
This is Clara Bow. The original "It" girl. If you don't know that story, you should read up on it. Oh and she was a redhead. And gorgeous. And mentally insane in her later years.
Lately I have been watching a lot of old movies. If you were to come over, TCM would probably be on. I always thought old movies from like the 40's and the 50's were overly innocent because of the conservative, family-oriented ideals back then. But the movies I have been seeing recently have been nothing like that. They've involved adultery, sex, lying, divorce, and murder. They're like grammatically enhanced, show tune-infused, two hour long episodes of All My Children.
(Fun fact: I was named after Susan Lucci's character, Erica Kane)
So I've been trying to get a good collection going. I just bought The Bad Seed from Amazon. Left on my list are:
Let's Do it Again (1953)
The Tunnel of Love (1958)
Romance on the High Seas (1948)
That Forsyte Woman (1949)
A Date With Judy (1948)
I know tons more but I always forget to go on TCM.com or TV Guide Channel to see what they're called while I'm watching them.
I also really love silent movies. They're so theatrical and over the top because there aren't words to convey their feelings. TCM has Silent Sundays when they play silent films late on Sunday nights. I like to grab a big bag of chocolate covered almonds and snuggle up in piles of blankets and watch tales of gypsies and circus performers and rebellious women and 19th century socialites.
Do you guys have any good old movies? Anyone have a special affinity for film noir? It's the best!
You wanna know something funny? I almost went to ATL's Girls Rock Camp back in July. But I was afraid I had too much experience on the drums.
When I go to Barnes and Noble, it's usually for just one of two things: to buy a new novel that'll help me forget how much I hate my life, or for a new issue of Missbehave or Preen. (BTW, if you've never read Preen, pick it up! It won't put you to sleep like i-D and the glossies are as cool as Visionaire. Yeah I'm cultured, what of it?)
Anyway, sometimes there are off days and I don't find anything that I'm looking for. But I have to buy something. It takes so much effort for me to walk to BnN that I never allow a trip to be in vain. So I made the mistake of picking up the new ish of Seventeen. First of all, it was hard enough for me to pay for it when Miley Cyrus was cheesing back at me on the cover. Secondly, it hurt me physically to read it.
Having been seventeen not too long ago, I can honestly say these kinds of "issues affecting teens today" were shit I was dealing with back when I was 14. "Perfect party ready makeup"? "Kissing 101"? "How to make him notice you in study hall"? What??? Maybe I would have really pored through these pages when I was in middle school, but they've become drastically irrelevant to today's young women.
Thank god for Missbehave, but I feel like there should be something more. MissB is for street savvy badass women who can hold down a 9 to 5, keep their boyfriend satisfied, cut a bitch at the bar, hit up the online sales at Karmaloop, and still have enough money to pay the rent on the 15th and buy their girls a round of drinks on Friday.
While that is (for the most part) me, there's like a void, a lost niche for a magazine that appeals to the broke-ass, socially awkward, incredibly smart, fashion forward, obsessive, compulsive 18-22 set. I'm thinking of starting a revolution. I'm thinking of starting a 'zine.
Who's with me?
Home Movies is one of my favorite cartoons. It's just behind Harvey Birdman, Scooby Doo, Sealab 2021, and Mission Hill. This show is O.G. I didn't know Mitch Hedburg guest starred on it back in the day. Until about last year, I didn't know Mitch Hedburg was dead.
You're probably thinking, "Why is she posting this uselessness after all of the prolific and insightful thoughts she's spilled in previous posts?" Well, because over here, back at the ranch, at home base, etc, so much shit is burying me right now that if I don't focus on the things that require no thought, I'll go insane. Sometimes you gotta laugh not to cry, right?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Today is a big day ladies (and whatever gentlemen that may come trolling through)! This morning my hot shot photographer boyfriend is taking model-y pictures of me over at Castleberry Hill. I'm super excited. We're using all my clothes and accessories and I had the final say on all the outfits so you know they're going to be super kawaii! Sorry about that...I have a slight Harajuku Lovers obsesh. It got worse when I worked at the Sanrio Boutique. But enough about my old career history.
This isn't going to be any Cobrasnake type ish, so don't worry guys. But the pictures will be developed on Friday and when I get 'em, I'll scan 'em so you all can discuss how pretty I am! Just kidding...maybe you'll talk about more relevant things, like how there's less trees in the background due to acid rain and global warming or something.
Anyway, I'm just letting you guys know I'll be gone for half the day (ugh...6:00 am wake up time, meh) but will report back as soon as possible! (Cos I know you guys can't survive without my posts and all...you get cold sweats and hives and start seeing little leprechauns planting daisies and such...)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Did you know that Lucy Ball was a size 12? And she was a model, but one of her legs was longer than the other so she had to wear special orthopedic shoes.
Whoa...this post is about to go from shallow to deep so fast I advise you to just put on your floaties now because you won't have time once you get pushed from the kiddie pool into adult swim. Oh yeah and stop me if this gets too "Sarah Morrison" Mr. Anonymous Fucker, but really fuck you and fuck off.
I'm not actually fat. Not by any standards, except maybe for the modeling industry, which, funnily enough, is what I'm choosing to base my body image off. I know, I know, bad Erika. Don't you know those bitches are starving themselves? Of course. Don't you know most of those photos are Photoshopped to oblivion? Hell yeah. Don't you know that's an incredibly unhealthy standard by which you choose to measure yourself? Do you think I'm stupid?
But using that logic, I must be because I still do it. Up until around 8th grade, I was a skinny girl. My metabolism was fucking out of this world. People used to worry about whether or not my mother fed me. You could've probably wrapped your pinky and thumb around my wrist. Then in high school I got lazy. I moved out of my old house (leaving behind my old friends) and into a big new neighborhood full of girls that weren't the outdoorsy type. I got stir crazy because I'd hung out with all guys in my old neighborhood. We rode bikes, played basketball, walked to Blockbuster, went swimming, played tennis, handcuffed each other and did various things (hey we were pretty sex-crazed little kids), but we could never stay indoors. If the temperature was above 20* and below 100* we were outside. But my new friends in my new hood were different. They were the girliest chicks I'd known. The only time we were outside was to walk to the car because we were going to the mall or the movies. When we went to the pool it was to tan. Sometimes we played Frisbee but someone would always get tired and suggest going inside to watch MTV.
So I just ate and ate (no, pot didn't help this) but never exercised. And I got heavier. In my freshman year I told myself by the time I was a senior I would be able to confidently wear a bikini. I tried to work out but I could never get my eating in order so it didn't make a difference. By the time I graduated HS, I certainly wasn't confident enough to put on a fucking bathing suit, let alone a bikini. I began to obsess about the bodies in the magazines and how gorgeous they were. My own body image got so skewed I didn't know what was fat or skinny anymore.
But I know I'm not fat. The last time I was weighed at the doctor, I was 132 pounds. That's not fat, of course it isn't. I'm a healthy size 6/8. Fuck, sometimes I wear a 4. And sometimes I wear a small. And then sometimes I wear a large. It's really whatever. But even at 132, I feel like I have a lot of weight to lose. I can't really tell what is and is not beautiful. Sometimes I can look at a magazine and see a girl with a flat stomach, tiny hips, no breasts, and a flat ass and I say, "Oh she's gorgeous." Then my bf's like, "Ugh, she's awful looking. I want a woman who looks like a woman." Which I suppose accounts for why he's with me. I certainly have a womanly body. The curves, the bosom, the hips, the huge ass. I try to force myself to be comfortable with it, but it's certainly a struggle.
I've starved myself before. I've been on a liquid diet. I've gone to bed hungry...a lot of times. I've denied myself food all day if I knew I would eat dinner with friends. I've measured every inch of my body with a tape measurer. It's extremely depressing. I've eaten out my stresses and worked out till I felt sick. I hate having so many issues with my body. I hate my body. As the legendary Tracie Egan once said (and I'm totally paraphrasing), "Some women look good for men and some women look good for women."
I don't do it for the men. Whatev. I like sex but I also like vibes. I do it for the women. For some reason, I feed off that feeling you get when you look good (and you know you look damn good) and as you walk past, chicks stop conversing just to watch you go by. I hear "There She Goes" by Sixpence None the Richer in my head. I feel unstoppable. I feel thin.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
This miniseries might be awesome! I have high hopes, but then they're kind of dashed by the fact that it's a Lifetime original and that Coco is being played by Shirley Maclaine. Don't get me wrong, she's sort of amazing, but couldn't they have gotten some unknown French chick to sign on for this? Who was that girl in La Vie En Rose? Maybe one of her look-a-likes could have done this? Still, I'm excited. If some creepy Karl copy isn't in here, I will be disappointed. So it turns out Audrey Tatou will be playing Coco in some real deal sort of movie that'll hit theatres. That's mighty biter-ey of you, Lifetime.
There was a video about MacLaine talking about playing Coco, but it was getting mad annoying so here's the link to it. It is nice, though. You should watch it. She name drops Audrey Hepburn.
Last night I had a dream that I wound up in New York with someone I knew. I kept pulling them onto various subway cars with me saying, "We have to get to Queens. This girl Alex lives there." It was a really scary sort of link from dreamworld to reality.
Monday, August 11, 2008
This is a list of places in Atlanta that are really fun to go to, eat at, see awesome strippers, or just hang at:
*The Clermont Lounge
The Pink Pony
The Drunken Unicorn
The Star Bar
The Variety Playhouse
The ones that are starred are the places I've already gotten kicked out of. (The bolded ones are the places I can get into and have been in. They're okay) I'm going for some kind of record to get kicked out of the most 21+ places in Atlanta. It's good to have a goal, right? Honestly, it just bothers the shit out of me every time I get kicked out of places like this. Granted, I could get a fake ID (my LA cuzzes have the hookup), but it's like, first I get refused for not being 18, then I get refused for being 18. I can rent a car, but I can't stand in a bar? I stood outside of The Local and watched those bullshit drunks slurring their words and stumbling around on the patio and thought, "But I'm not even going to drink and I can't even sit inside?"
I dunno, blame it on the fact that I enjoy canoodling with those older than me. I mean, I have more friends in the 21-26 area than I do in the 16-18 arena, and everything's always copasetic until the drinks are brought up. And it doesn't help that every place in Atlanta is 21+ except for the hip places like the Drunken Unicorn, where the "cooler than thou" 18 and 19 year old hipsters go to pretend they're awesome and better than you. But ughhh! I still have three years before I'm looking at any of the perks my older compatriots stare in the face day in and day out.
Why do you have to be 18 to dance/get puked on/get sweaty/have someone grab your ass in the dark/stand for hours while listening to shitty music/do porn, but you have to be 21 to sit and enjoy a decent meal? What are people's thoughts on the great 21/18 debate?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
What the fuck is going on? Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, George Carlin, Estelle Getty...is God just getting jealous because there are so many angels on earth? What about South Park? I mean, this is ridiculous. Is the apocalypse really coming sooner than we think? I'm going to go brush up on the book of Revelations now...
When Samantha Brown's Passport to Europe first came out, I was in love with it. But I was like, Sam Brown, meh. She was really nice but I didn't think she'd be too much fun to hang out with if I ever traveled with her.
Boy was I wrong! On her new show, Samantha Brown's Passport to Great Weekends, Sam Brown goes to different parts of the states for a weekend and does awesome shit! For the Vegas episode, she went to see the Pussycat Dolls, shopped, drank, made sleazy comments at restaurant waiters, bought Manolo's, and guest bartended at the Double Down! Bitch is getting cooler by the second! I want to hang out with her all the time! Some great Samantha Brown-isms after the nonexistent jump:
"So when's the last time you saw Anthony Bourdain spin his ass in a champagne glass?"
"TV doesn't pay shit anymore so I'm here!" (said when she was bartending at the Double Down)
Here's a clip of the badassery!
This woman is all that and a bag of Chips! Ahoy! Sam, girl, hit me up when you're in LA so we can hang! Pls!
Boo, It's Sunday. When I was younger, I used to hate Sundays because it meant I had to go to church. Don't get me wrong, I like church, I just hated having to get up so early when I stayed up so late on Saturday. Then, when I got a little older, I hated Sundays because I had to go to work all day. Now I hate Sundays because they're so boring, but here's some shit to look forward to today:
New episode of Mad Men
Miss Viviane's sex column on Single Scoop
This is what my weekend in the A looked like:
Thursday was Chris's 21st birthday. Since I dipped out around 2:15-ish, I didn't stay with him for the excitement that was him stumbling home so completely faded that he vomited all over his porch and tried to break his roommate's bed. None of which, of course, he remembers. I love that kid.
Friday was a little more relaxed. I picked up a new Zune since my other one was gone when my car was returned and, to my utter amazement, even with no makeup and barely doing my hair, the dude at Best Buy still tried to pick me up. Don't worry, I totes rebuffed him.
Saturday was the shit. First I went shopping at H&M (cluster. fuck.) and Urban and then my bf and I met up with our friend Clint to go eat at the EARL, which I got kicked out of (whoa! surprise!) because you can't even fucking EAT at that place after 9 if you're not 21. I think I'm going for some kind of record for the most 21+ places I can get kicked out of. I'm at 3 already. After that denial, we got some kind of lowbrow Mexican food and then headed back to Clint's house where everyone proceeded to get drunk and fairly stoned before we lit the fireworks I'd picked up from my trip to Tennessee. The first one was fucking badass, and went okay (read:no trees were lit on fire) but the second one was a beast. We noticed the rounds starting to get closer to us until one was literally right over our head. Has anyone ever been IN the fireworks before? All you could hear was me yelling "Holy Fuck!"
(Sidenote: I will be expecting a check from Holy F*ck for that brief free press. Thx. Lovely Allen!)
Resume: So after that we did some sparklers which were awesome and then we sat around in the driveway talking about things...uh, just miscellaneous things, really. I dunno, 2/4 of the group was stoned anyway. It was fun. I think.
I wonder if I'll ever turn 21. If, by some magic, I do, I'll dedicate my whole life to sneaking in under 21 kids into 21+ events, bars, and restaurants. Until I'm 23. And then I just gotta start hanging out with bitches my own age, right?
How was your weekend? College in GA starts in a week. I can't even take it. I'm still laughing at all those kids because I don't have to be in school until the 25th. So suck it Atlanta! V! I'm so stoked to see you out in LA!
Friday, August 8, 2008
At first I didn't really like Anderson Cooper. I thought his show was kind of dry. But while his show may be really boring, Mr. Cooper isn't! He's awesome! He's the only Cooper I wanna hang with! He has real opinions and he's not afraid to speak them! Is Kelly Ripa blazed or does it just seem like it?
When will Nancy Grace get cool like this???
Does anybody even shop for clothing at Sears anymore? Last time I checked, it's hella overpriced and the clothes are made for twelve year olds with doting parents. Oh yeah! That is exactly who this commercial is appealing to!
This is also a great representation of...high school, I guess? I remember my first day of freshman year, walking through the double doors in my juniors flared jeans and cute shirt with turtles playing soccer and having to weave through all the pirouetting seniors and the b-boying juniors. I first got offered pot by a sixteen year old tap dancer.
This is the cake we baked for Chris last night. It was my idea. In case you can't tell, it's in the shape of a can of PBR, the grossest beer ever, but Chris's favorite.
Last night was my friend Chris's 21st birthday. When I left him he was anywhere between beer number 11-13. This is the debauchery that went down, ATL style.
First we went to the bowling alley. By the time we got there Chris was already on beer 7-9. He's a pretty fast guy. Bowling shoes were 8.00 to rent, but apparently you don't need them, because they don't really give a shit if you bowl in your regular sneaks. Yay! 16.00 saved!
After everyone ate cake and the bowling alley played all of their Lil Wayne songs, we headed out to this bar called The Local, which I very quickly got kicked out of. LAME. FAIL. But Chris and his friends were so cool, they all decided to leave since I couldn't stay. So then we stood in front of the bar while Chris did flaming shots and a crackhead gave me and this really nice girl Amanda some flowers.
Then we walked to Fellini's for some pizza around 1 am and that's when this dude named Pat showed up. We'd seen him at The Local when he was buying shots, but were all very surprised to see that he'd followed us to the pizza parlor. He sat with us and everyone got a little drunker. Chris was having trouble standing up.
That's when we all decided to go to the Clermont Lounge...the worst strip club in Atlanta. No, no, wait. Maybe the Pink Pony or Folly's might be worse...noooooo...the Clermont wins. You're looking at very old women who don't really give a shit about their bodies while they gyrate indescribably in front of you. It ain't pretty folks. Just ain't pretty.
Around 2 am, on the way back to the car, we stopped by Fuck Yesss, which as everyone knows, is the crazaziest indie dance party in the A. Christ, people. That shit was the physical definition of Hipster Runoff. It was ridic. I could've played Blackout on my Hipster Bingo card and won immediately.
After that we dipped out and I came home and collapsed in my bed. But it was a good night. I'm stoked to turn 21 in LA. Yay party!
Yesterday I was in the car with my boyfriend. He started talking to me hypothetically about what would happen if he moved to San Fran after I moved to LA. I listened. I also interrupted a few times to interject the necessary sarcastic comments.
By the end of his hypothesizing, he asked me, "So if I had a box of stuff from my ex, would you make me throw it out or let me keep it?"
I said, "Whoa! You got that off Missbehave!" I pointed a finger dramatically for effect.
Bashfully he replied, "What? No I didn't. I'm just asking."
I persisted, "Yes you did! I can't believe you read Missbehave!"
Finally he said, "Yeah. I read your comment and wanted to see what you would say."
He's reading my comments? He's just a hop, skip, and a jump away from my blog! Boys are crazy!
I just threatened to kill him and then we called it a day.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Currently listening to: "Never There" by Cake
We all know what happened to Be Your Own Pet. I'm still regretting the fact that I didn't own a digital camera when I was sixteen and thus could not take any pictures of the one performance of their's I ever got to see. I'm also still sad that I missed the sale on their merch's website and so now I have to pay $20 for a shirt instead of $10. You may be regretting different BYOP related things for different BYOP related reasons.
I assume this whole thing went down like this:
Jemina and Co. were packing up their instruments, fresh off the end of the Nylon Summer Music Tour, when Marvin Scott Jarrett (the Editor-in-Chief of Nylon, duh) strolled up to them.
MSJ: Hey guys, sorry to hear about what's going on.
Jemina: Yeah, dude. We just wish there was something else we could do about those fucking songs that got fucking censored and fucking banned.
MSJ: (stroking his chin thoughtfully), Well let me see what I could do. I'll ask an intern to get some department people together. In the mean time, let me offer you guys some parting gifts...bottle of Andre? Pair of Sevens? Life size poster of Alice Delall? New Watson Twins album?
And then he walked away, got some interns on it, and out of that quick exchange came a video for the single "Becky." If that doesn't seem familiar to you, but you bought Get Awkward like I did, that's because "Becky" was one of the songs Universal deemed to controversial to release. Granted BYOP did release it along with two other removed songs on their Get Damaged EP, but it's not the same. Anyway, peep the video.
And in case you just wanna sorta chart their progression, here's their first video, the one they made 2 years ago for the song, "Bicycle, Bicycle, You Are My Bicycle." I saw that video when it made it's first world premiere back on Subterranean and I knew at that instant, that those kids would be big.
"Bicycle, Bicycle, You Are My Bicycle"
At first when I saw these ads I was still reeling from the MIA versions. I thought, "boy in a dress...this will pass." But there are more. And they look promising. The boy is Cole Mohr. The designer is Marc Jacobs. The photographer has always been Juergen Teller. These are dresses.
Scarily enough, I would consider buying them more after seeing them on a dude. In the famous words of Missbehave:
Valentina loves Cole Mohr. I like masculine Cole Mohr. I guess this works out because if they get together, they can borrow each other's clothes.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Welcome to the hottest day of the year boys and girls! It's supposed to be anywhere between 96 and 99 degrees today, but I will still somehow manage to brave the heat and hit up H&M ...because that's just how dedicated I am.
The recent heat wave has forced me into longing for Autumn in the worst way. It is my favorite season: the peacoats and wool jackets, the collared shirts with sweater vests, the thick, colorful tights under summer dresses, the closed toe heels, the knit caps and scarfs, and the fingerless gloves...it's all so much fun. Plus colder weather gives me plenty of leeway to gain three or four pounds and not have anyone scrutinize me at the swimming pool. Normally, it would mean I don't have to shave my legs either (which is such a hassle in the summer!), but this Autumn has blessed me with a bf who will only make fun of my hairy legs. Great...
So with all that said, I thought I would compile my list of Autumn songs. I used to have a list that was about 50 or so songs deep, but that just goes to prove how weird I am about music. Anyway, people have the misconception that summer songs are fast and poppy and once you get into the cold seasons, the music has to be slow and moody a la Beach House or Animal Collective. But not so! Here I present you with my Fall music...feel free to add your songs below.
Because I'm nice and it's either this or calling the bank to ask why there was a processing error in my electronic check, I'm posting mp3's of the songs below the title. Read and listen!
Band of Horses - The Funeral: Come on, this song is timeless, and gorgeous. Plus the video is really sad. Also, I love BoH. "No One's Gonna Love You" is my and bf's song...geeky I know, but cute, right?
Malajube - Pate Filo: Secretly I want to move to Montreal, open up a scone shoppe, and spend my nights drinking red wine in bathtubs of other people's houses. And I also cling to the hope that it'll be like The Science of Sleep.
Aesop Rock - Daylight: Um, Aesop is kind of awesome. This song is a little older, but still just as good as his new stuff. None Shall Pass, btw, is crazy good. I can't even begin to describe Aesop.
The A-Sides - We're the Trees
Au Revoir Simone - A Violent Yet Flammable World: I love those cute Brooklynites! ARS' music is so pretty and so strong, which is a little unexpected since you have three Nylon cover ready girls making music. It's still magical.
Basia Bulat - In The Night: The prettiest Canadian musician I've ever seen, Basia Bulat is amazing. She has a gorgeous, sparkling voice and blond locks to die for.
Blonde Redhead - Misery Is A Butterfly: Kazu Makino has fantastic vocals on this song. I kind of think of Blonde Redhead as Bjork with a band, but everyone wants to dispute me on this.
Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark: Are you kidding me??? Perfect fall music! Plus these lyrics are beautiful. Oh, brooding, thoughtful Ben Gibbard...
Sea Wolf - You're A Wolf: The first time I heard this song, I was in LA (heard it on Indie 103.1 holla!!!) and I thought it was heavenly. So will you!
Super Furry Animals - Run Away
The Futureheads - Skip To The End
Les Breastfeeders - Funny Funiculaire: This all goes back to formerly stated love of Montreal and French Canada. Oh and French Canadian pop punk.
Pony Up! - Shut Up and Kiss Me: Girls with guitars that sing about realistic subjects and say things like "I am sorry that you're stupid, I can't be your fucking cupid" make me soooo happy!
White Hinterland - Dreaming of the Plum Trees
Sean Lennon - Dead Meat: Hands down, favorite song by Sean Lennon. Done.
All right! That's all folks! Hopefully you guys find some new Autumn music that you like! And don't forget to tell me your faves! When will it be cold already???
Oh yeah, and poor Missbehave is a day late and a dollar short on my car theft. I wanna tell them not to worry about it now, but I guess it's too late (too apologize!).
Ugh. Today I had five cavities filled. Then I fell asleep three times watching The Bad Seed with my bf. I woke up early enough to watch all three airings of Maury today. I made an attempt to pick out a really cute outfit to wear, but couldn't find a thing since I haven't washed my clothes for about 2 weeks. They prolly won't get washed till I run out of undies.
My pal Chris is celebrating his 21st birthday this Thursday! We're all supposed to do some crazy midnight bowling! I'm super excited. My bf and I are making him a cake as our present. Now I need some ideas for a fly cake. It has to be good since we're not bothering to buy Chris something cool like a new Halo game or speakers for his motorcycle.
All this talk about cake made me think about the coolest cakes I've ever seen. But any ideas are welcome! My bf's an amateur chef so he can make just about anything!
The Kid Sister cake. We all remember this one. I want a cake done up with my fingernails matching!
The Tom Selleck cake. I just realized it says "Hairy Birthday." Even though everyone believes the chest hair to be a million different things (like larva and worms), it's just choco sprinkles, k?
The Master Shake cake. Whoa. I luh Aqua Teen Hunger Force, so this cake was like heaven to look at, prolly amazing to eat.
The Mario cake. I love Mario (espesh the original version on Super Nintendo since that's all I have!) and I thought this one was adorable! If I was turning twelve next year, I would request this cake in a heartbeat.
So does anyone have any amazing ideas? For the people who have already turned 21, what kind of cake did you have/would you recommend? That's why I love The Disco! It's like a way less confusing and time consuming Ask Jeeves!!!!
Monday, August 4, 2008
"But I rationalized that my new shoes shouldn't be punished just because I can't budget."
---Carrie, Sex and the City
Soooo everyone knows I'm an earring fiend. I luh 'em. They complete my outfits perfectly and never want to fondle my chest like necklaces do when they slip down my dresses. I also love headbands because they are super cute and retro chic. Espesh this completely Zelda Fitzgerald-esque headband I bought at For Love 21:
In addition to headbands and earrings, girrrlllll I luh me some shoes. When I see the right pair, I go "fierce!" and I have to try them on. I even spent $54 on a pair of black and white patent leather Steve Madden heels when I only had about $80 in the bank. I'm not exactly a sneakerhead but boy I can apreesh a good pair of kicks. Oh! Like this one pair of Cre8tive Recreation kicks that I saw this girl rocking one time...and of course, all the Harajuku Lovers sneaks are too cute. And I've always been a Converse over Vans girl.
With all that said, I am an always and forever lover of heels. Not only because they are the only shoe left that only women can wear, but because they are so sexy and womanly. Tell me you don't feel like a goddess in the right heels...you can't! I'm not a fan of Miu Miu and Marc Jacobs heels because they're more art pieces than wearable pumps, but Lord have I been feeling the fuck out of Karl's latest incarnations. But gawd, I love them all...the kitten heels, the fuck me heels, the sophisticated heels, the wedges, and espesh the stillettos. (You know Crime Mob rocks them in the club!!!) So I present to you guys my current heel inspo!! Feel more than free to add your own shoe lovin' testimonies and/or fave brand of the moment!!!!These are from Guess. Isn't the color yummy???These are actually from Forever 21, but I love the 20's art deco style!
These are Naught Monkey. I would wear these with a button down and leggings! See why I should become a fashion stylist?!
These babies are Isaac Mizrahi and easily the cutest, most sophisticated, retro heels I've seen in awhile. I wish they sold these at Target...
I've seen a few better pairs, but at the moment these Yves Saint Laurent stilettos win "Best Fuck Me Heels." Even though I find myself losing my balance just imagining walking in them, I want them sooo bad! Anyone have $660 so I can buy a pair?