Monday, June 30, 2008

Boys I Love: Donny Miller

WELL, I do really like boys. And I know what they like. They like me. (Anyone catch that reference? Riiiiight...) So I thought I would start a feature that acknowledges the sexy mans I secretly wanna love on. And by love on, I mean lock in a basement, tie to the radiator, free only to have amazing sex con me or create some kind of entertainment in the hopes of being released from my crazy captive clutches, and feed only foods that would ensure their sexiness would never fade (read: Mike & Ike's, chocolate, wine spritzers...).

This post is about Donny Miller.

I just realized the he and Demetri Martin both have the initials DM. I guess I love boys whose names are DM. My boyfriend is SG, so I assume it won't work out...ah well.

Anyway, art is subjective, no? But sometime art can be sarcastic too. And clever. And mean. And AWEsome. That is Donny Miller's side of art. An artist who deals mainly in pop realism with a hint of spirited evil, Miller began his art for the homeless. If you ask, he was the first to use the number 4 in place of the word "for." He can even help you become an artiste as rad as he.

Donny looks like a weird cross between Jack White and a tanner Jack White. He's not hot per se, but so freaking intelligently caustic that I would love on that man for days at a time, stopping only to have him illustrate two amazing pieces for me, one to hang on my wall and another to sell for 6 times the going rate on eBay.

I'm lucky enough to have 12 of his pieces because I was smart enough to buy the 2008-2009 Donny Miller calendar, but in the event you don't come across this gem, some pictures are provided below.

You can usually find his work in Europe (because Americans are too uptight), or at his shows, which are just about everywhere between LA and Canada. Ay yi yi. That boy's gonna be a bitch to track down...

Donny Miller's website.
Donny Miller's Myspace.
Donny Miller's Art Archives.

Now 28!

Everyone has to remember at least one Now CD. It's short for Now That's What I Call Music! in case you didn't know. Some of the heavy hitters from the most recent Now are:

Leona Lewis "Bleeding Hearts"
Lil Wayne "Lollipop"
OneRepublic "Stop And Stare"
Metro Station "Shake It"
Daughtry "Feels Like Tonight"

As you can see this Now is a veritable bevy of Top 40 singles. But don't fret, some of pop's best rejected dumpster babies are here too. There's obvi a lot going on on this thing. Since I used to work at the 99X radio station, which shared a floor with Q100 (the Top 40 station), I hate popular music. I have to emphasize because I actually love pop music, but I can't stand popular music.

Um, except for "Tears On My Guitar" by Taylor Swift. Oh shit, do I love that song.

Moving on, with the rushing excitement of Now 28's debut, I thought I would do some research. It's been 28 years of great music, right? There have got to be some amazing tracks between now and 1980. Let's is the tracklisting for Now 1:

Janet Jackson - Together Again
The Backstreet Boys - As Long As You Love Me
Fastball - The Way
Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
Spice Girls - Say You'll Be There
KCi & JoJo - All My Life
All Saints - Never Ever
Tonic - If You Could Only See
Hanson - Mmmbop
Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Zoot Suit Riot
Imajin - Shorty (You Keep Playin' With My Mind)
Brian McKnight - Anytime
Aqua - Barbie Girl
Radiohead - Karma Police
Everclear - I Will Buy You A New Life
Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away
Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy

Holy shit! Even though I wasn't born in 1980, I remember almost all of those songs. I used to rock out to Spice Girls, Janet, Marcy Playground, and THE BACKSTREET BOYS!!! like it was going out of style.

It's been a long 28 years, no?



Alright, I love Boy Kill Boy. In fact, to say that I love them is an understatement. For a good deal of the crazy, memorable things that have happened in my life, Boy Kill Boy has been there. When I was driving to school on summer mornings, BKB was there. When I was crying my eyes out for no apparent reason, BKB was in my radio. We go way back, you see.

It's a miracle I didn't actually break Civilian from listening to it too much and constantly transporting it from my car to my bathroom radio to my bedroom radio to other people's car...etc. So naturally I was ecstatic when I heard they had a new album. I rushed to Criminal and had to special order it because it wasn't in-stock.

The man said it would be an import-only, but I just said pssh! How much could it be? I ordered the Pipettes' album from Tower Records when it was only an import and it was only 12 dollars. The Horror's EP was import-only and that was just 6 dollars. How much could this one be?

Well I got the call from Criminal saying that my album came into the store. I fucking hopped, skipped, and jumped over, bounding in all smiles and shitting rainbows. I went to the clerk, who looks just like Brian Posehn, and asked him for my CD. I had 20 dollars in my pocket, which seemed like enough.

That CD is 43 motherfucking dollars! And import-only! I barely pay that much money for the dresses at Urban! I couldn't even believe it when he told me. I just asked him to put it on hold a little longer.

Now I need some help. Should I just suck it up and buy the CD? I mean, there's no other way I'm going to be able to get it and I really, really, really want the album. Or should I just pass and tell Criminal to let it go. Sigh.

I'm more torn up than a prostitute's vadge on this one.


Sunday, June 29, 2008

You Got A Cameltoe

Oh. Mah. Gawd. This song used to be the only song I listened to for about 28723567 days in a row. Actually, I first saw this video on TRL, y'know back when Damien, La La, and Quddus used to host it, if that gives you an idea how long ago that was.

I'm pretty sure this song put Fannypack on the map. If you didn't know, Fannypack is this girl group from BK that makes really rad club bangers. This song is off their album So Stylistic, which is way better than the follow up See You Next Tuesday. Anyway, just let this be a reminder that not everything has to be tucked in.


Whoa! Another Show With Cisco Adler!

You may remember Cisco Adler for a few things: his artistic abilities, his modeling skills, or his band, Whitestarr. No matter how you choose to engrave his image(s) into your mind, you know who he is.

But now....So does MTV! Riding high on his previous success from that song "Buzzin," Schwayze is out and about in the throes of California sunshine, girls, and um...did I say sunshine, with his best friend and boyfriend Cisco Adler. Together, they encounter CRAZY people, do CRAZY things, and embark on CRAZY adventures. Gather round kids, as MTV tells you how it's gonna go down...

The aptly titled reality series Buzzin' chronicles Shwayze's comical misadventures as he tries to navigate his way through the music industry and make a name for himself with Cisco and tour Manager Wareen by his side. Struggling to keep them in check are Suretone Records head honcho Jordan Schur, who made artists like Ashlee Simpson and Limp Bizket household names, assistant David Patton, tour manager Warren, and new-media guru Cat Lake. Together, the wild bunch embarks on a long, winding road to reach the top of the charts.

As Shwayze and Cisco Adler ride the wave of success with "Buzzin'" and embark on a journey of a lifetime, there'll be plenty of candid moments, crazy parties and hilarious hijinks. From video shoots and live performances to beautiful girls and fridges full of beer, the dynamic duo will encounter it all.

See? It's like Stand By Me, only in Malibu, with slutty women, lots of money, and the occasional one night stand.

Wait...did I say occasional? I mean, habitual one night stands. I can't wait to see what kind of Dukes Of Hazard style hijinks these two crazy kids will get into! Haha, be sure to watch. Because you will be the only one.

Here's the song, y'know, so you can see just why they NEED to make a show about these two.

The show airs on July 23rd, at 10 pm. Please make other plans.


Knowing People

I used to be naive and kind of stupid and believe that regardless of how many people get everything in life because they know people who know people, I would win out because I was getting everything on merit and hard work. But this isn't 1862. Hard work alone doesn't get you shit. You have to have connections.

There are girls who get to go to amazing parties, meet incredible people, do ace things...for no reason but who their parents are. Yeah, maybe if my aunt was Anna Sui I would be singing a different tune. But as it stands, I tried to get a really good job based on what I knew.

Currently, I am unemployed. All my friends are working two jobs. Because of who they know. One friend got a high paying job at a Japanese daycare center because her mom used to teach there. My other friend does audits for an insurance company because his friend hooked him up.

Hell, I got an awesome internship at the now (sadly) defunct 99X radio station because I knew a guy working there. I didn't have to apply for the position or anything, and I got free run of the station. It was amazing.

But there are like a ton of chicks out there who are amazing, rad, ace women with incredible things to say and do. But life is not about what know, it's about who you know.

And these ladies don't know a goddamn person.


Friday, June 27, 2008

Happy Birthday, Erika: The Aftermath

Today is my birthday! Did you read the post below? Okay, okay. Good deal, good deal. Well, the day went as follows: (in present tense, because it's funnier)

I wake up early enough to catch the first showing of Maury. Paternity tests till your eyes bleed. After that I fart around for awhile. Boring, boring, boring. I run to Criminal, pick up some concert tickets, harass some skater guys, then go get a manicure.

Dude, you should see my nails. They are so bright and neon orange they should be doing the Safety Dance. Afterwards, I return home, hang with my friends a bit. We act like idiots and spend our time laughing like stoners.

Then we all go bowling. I have some kind of super coupon that allows us to only pay 5 dollars for two games and free shoe rental. We bowl for a bit, all the while trying to avoid the Bratz doll 15 year olds that keep flitting around in little denim shorts and barely there tanktops. And even with all that, these are the things society is having an ish with??

So then it comes time to eat. My cake is at home, but I have carted two boxes of pizza to the alley with me because I have been given permission to by an anonymous Brunswick employee. I am stopped at the door with my pizzas, and told I am not allowed to eat it. Some scuffling later, my homies and I are forced to eat outside, while thunder threatens overhead. Some jokes are made and then we return to bowling.
One round late, we join the currently going trivia game. It is obvious that I know all the answers since I answered all the questions we were too late to answer...correct. My team is called Team AA HAKH, since it is the last letter of all our first names. My idea to name the team Team Bowling Hoes goes unheard.

I bowl a 109, but still lose, and then we manage to come in third in trivia. As a result, we win two free bowling passes none of us will use. I have answered the toughest queshes, like in what country did the futon originate (Japan) and what kind of animal was Rikki Tiki Tavi (mongoose). I am declared amazing. This I know.

In the car back to my place, my two friends and I play an epic and controversial game of Would You Rather? I become the WYR master. Some of my questions are:

Would you rather eat a spoonful of fire ants or lick a cow's ass?
Would you rather stand in a hailstorm naked or stand in a lightning storm wearing an aluminum bikini?
Would you rather be naked and roll around in gravel and rocks or roll around in a tub full of sperm?
Would you rather be high all your life or be drunk all your life?

Some of my friend's equally awesome queshes are:

Would you rather be pressure-washed naked or climb a telephone pole naked?
Would you rather have everything you see be so fuzzy that you can't make out what it is or just be blind?
Would you rather have someone shoot you in the eye or drink a mixture of glass and water?

After that quesh, I added, "and if you had the glass mixture, you had to drink a cup of orange juice." Because I am a sick bastard. And I think making people cringe is funny.

Finally, there is some cake cutting. I cannot properly wield a knife and so an entire cake slice is dropped on the floor. My bad.Some more WYR is played. Some photos are taken. People say goodbye and I watch them leave.

It is a good birthday. But the 4th of July ish still remains to be had.


Happy Birthday, Erika

Oh...shhhh...listen to that's me screaming in the distance. Why?


If I said I was not waiting twelve months for this single moment in time to happen, I would be lying. I don't know what time it says this post went up, but in Atlanta, it's currently 12:18 am. My boyfriend and I are gonna take out the grill, the beer, da birfday cake, and the fun to the rooftop of these lofts in Downtown Atlanta for a combined 4th of July/Erika's birthday bash spectacular. Equation as follows:

Erika+birthday+fireworks+midnight madness=Sooo much fun!

If you live in the Atlanta area, are not SUPER creepy, are available all night on July 4th, like to hang out with black people and white people that wish they were black, and like free drinks, hit me up and come celebrate the madness with me!

Presents are mandatory. Those who are not in ATL can send them in the mail. I also accept direct faxes of your credit card info. Thx.

Bringing the bashes to the masses!


UPDATE: I found this rad video on Youtube. It's to a different Erika, obvi, but I'd like to pretend it was made for me.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Look At These People Doing Things In Their Levis!!

These guys made this film for their website and apparently it is PERFECT for Levis. Well, obvi, as all the people are jumping into Levis. But get this...! The pants don't have zippers! Just buttons! Guys can no longer catch their manhood in their zipper! Problems are solved!

Watch these dudes do exciting acrobatic and aerial AWEsomeness into jeans and then go buy your husband/boyfriend/lezzie girlfriend/brother a pair of these shits! Consumerism in action! Yeah!

My favorite is the pogo stick one, because that would be my preferred method of travel...if I had to choose.


Okay, Okay

You can post comments now. As I have explained before to a total of 1 person, I took out comments because a) if people really wanted to talk to me, they would just email me, b) sometimes people leave comments that are as long as emails, which brings me back to exhibit a, and c) no offense to anyone else out there trying to run a blog, run your life, and stay on the come-up, but I think it looks sad when every post says 0 comments.

But I had a request, and being the uber congenial person I am, I have to honor said request with a smile on my virtual face. So get all comment happy bitches, 'cause now you can!


Open Letter To U.O.

Dear Urban Outfitters,

You have nice clothing. This is mostly because, unlike American Apparel, you sell other people's clothes. Yeah, you have that in house collection, but we both know it's just there to take up space in the sale section.

I have a propensity to buy everything there. Let me say now that that would not happen were you to stop selling the Kimchi & Blue line at your stores. That would be a dark day indeed.

But ohai, why put so much effort into creating a wonderful selection of other label's clothing and not use that same attitude when you sell accessories.

Let me preface this by saying I buy my sunglasses everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean where they cost less than 20 bucks. Alright. Let's move on.

I buy those totally hipster Ray-ban wannabe sunglasses from you guys. I am under the impression that you guys (or some ten year olds in the Philippines) manufacture them. Why is the quality so shitty, UO? I have only owned my most recent pair for two months and the frame has already cracked. Don't start blaming this on the fact that I stuff them in a bag already holding a planner, pocket notebook, Blackberry, keys, water bottle, comb, mirror, umbrella, checkbook, pens and pencils, tampons, and on rare occasions, novel. This has nothing to do with that.

I have taken to repairing said frames with super glue. pliers, and a hair clip. While, yes, I have discovered that being MacGyver is easier than it looks, I shouldn't have to do this. I have sunglasses that cost about ten bucks less than yours from Forever 21 and they have lasted me two years, maintenance free.

So, in summation, please continue selling other people's clothes and start selling other people's sunglasses. Kthxbai.


Wang For Cheap!

Gawd...NYC gets everything! Topshop, Miss Rap Supreme, and now...this!

If you're near Broadway, or, subsequently, Canal St, wear a pretty average size (2-10), and like high fashion clothes for department store prices, you can get your hands on some AWEsome apparel from the Alexander Wang Sample Sale! (cue triumphant trumpets and swooning ladies) Although Vera is my favorite Wang, Alexander's clothes are pretty boss as well.

The sale runs from today (from 3-7) through Saturday (from 10 in the am-7 in the pm). Supposedly, things are 70% off! Address after the jumperoni.

386 Broadway, 3rd Floor
Phone number is: (212)-532-3103, although I can't see why anyone would call for a sample sale.


Tell Me You Don't Remember This One!

Ohmahgawd, this song was so the shit for me when I was a freshman in HS. Everyone wanted to pretend they were the next Jay-Z when they heard this song. Who knew that J-Kwon opened the door for Soulja Boy?


One night, my friends and I were listening to the radio and we heard a sick mash-up of "Tipsy" and "We Will Rock You." Funny, it's never been heard again...


Did Anyone Else Know About This???

MIA made a video for "Paper Planes!" Did anyone else know? This album came out last year, so I am a day late and a dollar short on this one? Oh well, it's still AWEsome. MIA is so rad.

During a random poll I once conducted while waiting for MIA outside Criminal for an in-store record signing on Halloween, I found that pretty much 80% of people's favorite cut from Kala is "Paper Planes." 15% of people love "Come Around" more, but I, the resilient 5%, love "Jimmy." That song is so it for me.

Anyway, I think this song is kinda timeless and works no matter what city you're in, so it's versatile too. It doesn't matter if I am late with this one. Everyone needs some MIA in their lives. Except for Sarah Morrison.

If you haven't gotten Kala yet, you really fucking need to. Thx!


Boys I Love: Demetri Martin

Okay, I've decided that the Atlas Shrugged feature isn't such a hot idea. Mostly 'cos it was just a stupid idea in the first place. That's the beauty of retrospection, I suppose. So I figured I would talk about a universal subject: BOYZ (how many, how many?)

WELL, I do really like boys. And I know what they like. They like me. (Anyone catch that reference? Riiiiight...) So I thought I would start a feature that acknowledges the sexy mans I secretly wanna love on. And by love on, I mean lock in a basement, tie to the radiator, free only to have amazing sex con me or create some kind of entertainment in the hopes of being released from my crazy captive clutches, and feed only foods that would ensure their sexiness would never fade (read: Mike & Ike's, chocolate, wine spritzers...).

This post is all about Demetri Martin.

Firstly, he is hawt. And he is smart. He has a haircut like the kids from Village of the Damned. He lives in NYC (makes me very angy/totally jelz of those NY bitches!). A long time ago, Demetri was doing stand-up and filming it. I have his second movie, Person, on tape. It reins. The cutest thing he does is laugh/rub his nose a la Jimmy Fallon. Don't get me wrong, though. Unlike Mr. Fallon, Demetri is hella funny. You will see that in the video I've provided below. He makes up imaginary creatures and has amazing musical talent. You know, Demetri can play the guitar, piano, harmonica, and foot bells. Once, he played them at the same time. Yep. For serious.

If you come in contact with Mr. Martin, kidnap him and hold him hostage. He will entertain you with his cute homemade charts and drawings, and you will be fulfilled. You're welcome.

Demetri's webisite.

Mr. Martin's myspace.

Ohai Teddy Geiger: Singer/Actor!

Well, today was a day. It involved some chocolate chip cookies, bad sex, Wikipedia browsing, baby oil, that movie Car Wash, and a dentist appointment. Not in that order. I was feeling really nuh-uh about today but then I came home and saw this...the trailer for the new movie, The Rocker:

Gawd, now I feel soooo much better! Maybe the sex wasn't so bad! Those cookies were AWEsome! My teeth are cleaner! Baby oil smells good!

You can't tell me it's not uber exciting to see Rainn Wilson doing something that lets him be super funny...and one of the main characters! And Jonah Hill is in it! And it's not Superbad! And Teddy Geiger! He's acting (read: not singing!) Yay! I can ogle Teddy Geiger and his major adorability without having to listen to his Dave Matthews Band wannabe music!


Check HEREZ to see if there's a free screening in your town. Yeah, you have to pretty much sell your soul to get free admission into the screening, but what's one measly soul for the permanent immortalizing of the Geigermeister and the Wilsonator?

All further use of the words "Geigermeister" and/or "Wilsonator" must be hereby accredited to me. Holla.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I Know, I Know

New layout. I know. Not half as cool as the old one, but I needed something more manageable. The bright side to all of this nonsense is the mildly useful knowledge of HTML I've acquired. I mean, I can't build an entire template from scratch (well, maybe I could if I had a few years on my hands), but I can fix stuff and customize stuff. You know, and stuff.

Like the other template-happy post, this one is unnecessary. But you all should know I can preempt your thoughts. I'm thinking it before you are. Still, I do need to find a really ace layout I can be happy with forever, so if anyone runs across any sites that are epic, drop me a line and let me know. Danke.


Monday, June 23, 2008

WTF? Blog Fighting?

It should be common knowledge to all you sassy Missbehavers out there that Sarah Morrison hates the word blog. Cool. So do I. So do a lot of people. But then I came across something that made me hate blogs themselves.

How did I come across this foolishness you ask? Erm, I was searching for a way to lose five pounds in four days. Shut up! I have to! My birthday is this Friday and I have a pair of high-waisted shorts I wanted to wear to my party. Yes! I had to buy them a size too small; they didn't have my size. It was an impulse buy, but they're very cute shorts...ahem. my quest for quick weight loss, I stumbled across a blog with this comment in the comments section:

I'm sorry but that was the most poorly written blog that I have ever read. Some of the sentences just run on too long. Besides from that, it is complicated and I don't really think that most people will understand. Deny my criticism as you wish, but I can guarantee you this blog needs some editing. P.S-The idea for the blog post is pretty good though.

WTF?! Is there such thing as the blog grammar police and I just don't know about it? I won't put the author of the comment here, but is he a professor of Rhetoric at Harvard or something?

This is what Wikipedia had to say about blogs:
Many blogs provide commentary or news on a particular subject; others function as more personal online diaries.

See that last part about online diaries? That means grammar, sentence structure, spelling - that shit don't count. People write what they want how they want. So evil grammerphiles stop preying on people that may have slept through 9th grade lit. Stop taking shit so seriously. It's not like all these 18-25 year olds are writing life-altering manifestos on the 'net. Chill the fuck out.



Open Letter To Seinfeld Lovers

First of all, let me start by saying hello. Hello. Okay, moving on...

You are a rare breed. You guys like to drop everything...eating, pissing, fucking...when you hear that Jerry's coming on the telly. You sacrifice sleeping to stay up in the hopes of catching one of those late night episodes that they randomly decide to air on TBS, only to be awake at 3 am for no reason. You know you have work in the morning, right?

And do you guys realize who you have to be to a) understand these jokes, and b) find them funny? You have to be a douche! Not a big one, worry not, but a love for Clint Eastwood, that movie Dirty Harry, comic books, and Karl Rove are pretty much a given.

How the hell do you find George's stuttering rambles amusing? Elaine is the only relatable character on that show and she's hardly ever in it! And don't try to pretend that you still think Kramer is the shit after those racist remarks got out. Front all you want, Sein-Fans, front. Keep using the line, "Because he's George!" as the rebuttal to every Seineld inspired argument you have.

(Typically, they go like this:)

Me: Why the hell are we watching this? Isn't Next on?
You: Next? Seinfeld's is on television!
[something unfunny goes down on screen, you start to laugh at it]
Me: Why the hell is this funny to you?
You: Because he's George!


Look, there's always a niche audience for every show (see: Gilmore Girls, Just Shoot Me, or Assy McGee). But if you insist on breaking up a fantastic makeout sesh with moi to watch Seinfeld's faded 90s jeans, some random parking lot humor, or to see Ben Stiller's dad, you should probably learn to master the convenience of recording shows. Yeah, it's called TiVo.

Alright. Good deal.


Nope. Not Okay. Not Even A Little. Yep. Nope.

I do not like Pete Wentz. Those who come in close contact with me on a mildly daily basis know this. Last Halloween I got into a discush with two chicks I happened to meet while waiting for MIA to show up for an in-store signing at Criminal and I told them I thought Pete Wentz was "a dick with a body." That shit is verbatim, son. And I stand by it.

Needless to say, I also hate MTV. If it wasn't for America's Best Dance Crew and Next (guilty pleasure, mos def), I wouldn't give that channel the time of day. But I do occasionally watch it, but not for the music, of which there is now none.

It's been like twenty years since there's been music on MTV. I have accepted it. It's okay, okay? Listening, MTV? We're on civil terms as long as the balance you've struck is carefully maintained. Your attempts at music have been few and far between and that's okay. MTV2 is alright with me. I don't know why, but something about it feels slightly alternative. Look, it's cool and that's how we'll leave it.

But why, oh why, MTV would you combine the two most unnecessary things about you (Wentz and music) in hour long block form? What the hell is this? FNMTV? I get it, it's cute. Ahahahaha. I'm laughing. You hear it?

This FNMTV thing, a study in stupidity, is hosted by Wentz, featured the new Vampire Weekend vid, and had commentary by Katy Perry and some passively pretentious music journalist. The show even lets you (sad fatty on couch wannabe music journ), review what you see. Like this girl. She knows things. Music is the new Bono. Lil Wayne ain't.

This is a problem. This is just not going to work out. I don't want to see new cutting-edge vids on MTV. There are other places I can go for that, like the Internet.

In the meantime, MTV, stick to what you're good at: being a vehicle for reality telewhores and geeky highschoolers that want to become hip hop rappers.



Sunday, June 22, 2008

Sarah Morrison Can Be On Your Blog

Well, not physically, obvi. But you can have a random snapshot of her that was taken at the Ed Banger Party at Cinespace. Ohai and you can have this girl from the same party. Where can you have these fab photos, you ask? On your blog layout! I was randomly looking through the millions of AWEsome Asian-made templates when I found this one:

It's called "A Party Girl's Life" and it was made by this chick in Holland. So it just goes to show that somewhere, sometime, someone is doing something involving Sarah Morrison. Shit. She can get some distance, can't she?

New Look, Obvi

Okay, this post is almost unnecessary but I have to do it. I got a new layout, one that is actually pretty AWEsome and epic and rad. Offish now, Asians rule. 'Cos they definitely hooked me up with this sweet layout. See the photo collage?! Can you do that? No! No you can't!

Asians can! And we're not even talking graphic designers here, kay? 13 and 14 year old Chinese schoolchildren are pumping these shits out! That totally sounded like a poop joke, but these kids are designing some heavy shit!

See that attention to detail?! The bar at the top with the quote?! Gorgeous!!

It's so rad, I could talk about this layout all day, but I won't because this really doesn't need to be a post. Kthxbai. Asians rule. For serious.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Katy Perry Is NOT Peaches

I don't hate Katy Perry. I don't like Katy Perry. I am completely ambivalent when it comes to her music. I will note that she is gorgeous. I will note that she really likes her cat. I will note that she has beef with Sarah Morrison. I will also note:


Having forayed into that big uber world of music journalism, I know that proper reviews are written chock full of references to other musicians the reviewee may sound like. I.e. saying White Hinterland is reminiscent of a "Samson" era Regina Spektor. Because it helps you understand what the album or artist under review sounds like. It's convenient. It's passively pretentious, because it suggests that the reviewer has such a vast knowledge of music that they can liken current musicians to older artists without even thinking twice. It is the bread and butter of a music journalist. I get it.

But this must stop:

Not since Peaches has a saucy songstress taken sass this far. Over singsongy antipop ballads, Perry skewers all that the scene--and plain good taste--holds sacred. Sample lyric: "You're so indie-rock it's almost an art/ You need SPF 45/ Just to stay alive."

Okay. This is incorrect. Having been a fan of Peaches circa Impeach My Bush I can easily say she doesn't even run in the same spectrum as Katy Perry. So stop saying that, alright? It's not Katy's fault. She doesn't write these retarded reviews. But all music journalists, real (music site, magazine) or not (blog), just find someone else to say she sounds like. Please!



Friday, June 20, 2008

I Am Not Spoiled.

I don't think I ask for a lot out of life. I don't expect people to do things for me. I do them myself. I make my own opportunities. I have learned not to expect certain things because they are just disappointments waiting to happen.

I don't expect the kids I went to high school with to hang out with me now. We were all great friends but I know if I called them up and made plans, they would cancel on me last minute. It's happened too many times before. I don't expect my mother to ever understand why I draw girls that are smoking. I tried to tell her once, that I like to portray life as it really is, but she'll never get it.

Is it ridiculous if I just want to have a good birthday, or see a friend live up to his full potential, or have a boyfriend that fully gets who I am? To have that Cake CD I ordered last year finally come in to Criminal so I can pick it up? Or to have friends that want to be around me or take my feelings into consideration when they make stupid comments or cancel our plans? To have acceptance from my own family, or see someone who could do so much in the world stop using heroin?

Maybe I just ask for too much.


I finally got the new issue of Missbehave today. So I don't seem like some sloth-ass creature who hibernates during the daytime in her room/cave and survives off KoolAid, microwaveable mac & cheese, and weird grape soda/cereal combos, I have ventured from my homely surroundings into the nasty bright lights and dirty sandy sidewalks of the city of Atlanta before to seek out this elusive compilation of gloss and glitz. But the Caroline St. Barnes and Noble just NOW got it in.

So I made a beeline for it, bought it, and walked back to my car, which was parked at Criminal Records so I would have to actually walk places and be mobile appendage-wise instead of the WAY more comfy motor-wise.

While I was punishing my loins for being fat harvesters, I started to read my copy of Missbehave. Granted, it took me about ten minutes to read the Editor's Letter because walking/reading/not tripping over the many cracks in the sidewalk was a bit tricky, but I did read to page 17 before concentrating on the street ahead of me. So, yeah. Woo.

And might I just add that reading/walking with your head down definitely makes it easy to breeze past dudes that wanna holla at you. This one guy was trying to (and failing to) spit game at me from the PASSENGER'S SIDE of a car ("No Scrubs" anyone??) but I was pretty much giving him the Frigidaire so I guess he got frustrated and finally shouted:

"You got on ugly ass shoes though!"

I laughed all the way to my car. I was wearing my pink sneakers from Urban Outfitters. They are relatively clean, for the things I get into on a daily basis, and the laces are tied. I couldn't see what ish this guy had with my shoes. If I were any other girl with lower self esteem, I might be upset or sad. But I don't sit in a passenger's seat, so we'll see who wins out in the end, bitch.

I guess there was/is some crazy biker fun time thing going down over near the Vortex 'cos the back entrance to the parking lot behind the Tower Spirits was closed and I had to walk the long way, which meant I had to walk by the creepy/ill biker men and got hit on once again, by dudes that could have totally been my illegit dad in a heartbeat. Ugh. Bleh.

Finally, I got to my car and then tried to read my Missbehave a lil more, but it was a failed attempt because it was way too hot outside to just sit in an idling car with the windows down. That whole thing is ineffective when there is no breeze. So I drove off and almost hit a too-cool-for-school hipster couple. Atlanta is chock full of those.

So I went home and then FINALLY got to sit down and read my Missbehave. It was great. As always. It was a long, laborious process, but at least I didn't have to pretend to be happy and excited. It was like genuine sex.

No faking involved.


Thursday, June 19, 2008

Yay For Crim!!

This is Criminal Records. If you live in Atlanta, you should be there.

The death of record stores? Psshah! They're totally alive and well. And even have a day made just for them! In compliance with the AWEsomeness of record stores 'round the country, Paste Magazine compiled this little ditty:

The 17 Coolest Records Stores In America.

Why 17? Who the hell knows? They're not in any particular order, although Criminal does come second on the list...not saying, just saying.

Check to see if your hometown shop is on the list...and then cry/grumble with anger when you see it's not. Because we all care this much about record stores.
Amoeba Records, Los Angeles, CA
Criminal Records, Atlanta, GA [read about Criminal here]
Other Music, New York City
Cat Head Delta Blues & Folk Art, Clarksdale, MS

Waterloo Records, Austin, TX
Aquarius Records, San Francisco, CA

Dusty Groove America, Chicago, IL

Ernest Tubb Record Shop, Nashville, TN

Shangri-La Records, Memphis, TN

Music Millennium, Portland, OR
Ear X-Tacy, Louisville, KY
Louisiana Music Factory, New Orleans, LA

Newbury Comics, Boston, MA
Grimey's New + Pre-Loved Music, Nashville, TN
Turntable Lab, New York City

The Electric Fetus, Minneapolis, MN

Jerry's Records, Pittsburgh, PA

Big ol' congrats to Criminal Records for keeping it criminal 365 24/7!!


Fuck Yeah Fest

If you haven't heard about this (and you uber lurve power pop!) then consider this the reminder of a lifetime! Tomorrow, the Fuck Yeah Fest (aka F-Yeah Fest for retarded censorship purposes) is rolling through Atlanta! Pop and comedy and drinks at the Whirlyball?! Who could ask for more!

Tix are available at Criminal Records or you order them online at Ticket Alternative's website. Good people working over there. The guy I used to intern for actually works there now. But you don't care about my career history.

You care about this fabuloso lineup!

Matt & Kim
Team Robespierre

Comedy by Josh Fadem

The show is all-ages so bring your little kids and then make them stand in the lobby while you dance your ass off! Fuck yeah!! DOORS AT 8 PM!!!

I've got my bright purple H&M leggings and rainbow colored top! Are you ready? Get ready!

Now I'm going to go back to watching this Doctor Who marathon on SciFi!


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I Fixed My Clock

I don't like transitional periods. They pretty much suck ass. It's like sitting in purgatory. You don't know if the sitch is gonna get better or drastically worse.

A while back, there was a storm and my power went out while I was out with my cousins. My bathroom clock blinked 9:16 for an indescribable amount of time. I was starting to get used to it. I measured time by whatever it read on the clock. I didn't know what time it really was. When I took a shower at 5:29 (real time, perhaps around 10 am), I tried to finish before 5:40. I was comfortable with not actually knowing the real time.

I cleaned my room. No longer am I wading in a sea of dirty clothing, magazines, dishes, and nail polish. My floor is visible, my clothes are hung up, the magazines are back on the shelves. The calendar finally went from May to June. It's uncomfortable.

After that I fixed my clock. It says the correct time now. This morning while I was brushing my teeth I looked at it and was actually expecting it so say something random like 4:26. But it just said 12:30. I felt disappointed.

It's almost like I am more comfortable in chaos and disarray. Because while it's hella messy, at least I know where things are, how they should be, why they're there. When things are how they should be, I almost feel as if my life is too normal. It makes me disoriented.

Right now things are too normal. I feel like I am stuck in purgatory. Something is going to happen. I don't know what, but I can feel it.

At least while my life is this clean.


Perhaps The Best 80s Song To Be Created Post 80s

I have not posted anything today. I'm sure that's obvi. That's because I went to H&M today and bought this really rad jumper and chatted up the sales associate. She has bangs and a haircut like mine, and suddenly we were two besties, with everything in common. I complained about how many people call me Rihanna. She gabbed about how much she liked Rihanna. I rebuttled in an opposite fashion. Then Saliesha from Top Model came up. She's never seen the show. Upon that admission, I paid for my jumper and left. The rest of the convo was doomed.

Anyway, I started thinking about 80s songs after watching the music video for "Hello" for like the umpteenth time, and that brought me to this.

Van She
is Australian. They are also remix gods. And techno divas. They are a lot of things. If this was high school, Van She might be voted Biggest Overachiever.

Back in 2006, they made an EP. With this song on it. Obvi, this girl is very popular around the music world.

This song is AWEsome because it sounds so uber 80s pop. But it was made over two decades later! Yeah! Do the math! Yeah! Over 20 years! Aren't you smart?!


Van She: "Kelly"

Be careful with those crimping irons kids!


Monday, June 16, 2008

Being Josh Homme

It sure looks like it ain't easy. Also looks like it ain't anything new. At the Queens of the Stone Age show in Oslo, a disgruntled Norwegian threw random shit at Josh Homme. He is fucking pissed.

This is fucking hilarious.

Sounds like Homme should try doing a Kanye next time.


My Only Offer

Mates of State are cool. They are also hot. They are temperaturally compelling. Their music is good. That should be enough for you to want to purchase their entire discography.

If it is, you can find it here.

Let's say it isn't. Well, uh, okay skeptic. MoS's new album, Re-Arrange Us is yet another gem in their indie pop crown. The album is magic. That's right. Once you listen to it, you magically become very happy and okay with life. Yeah, regardless of what else is going on around you.

To further convince you of their ethereal powers, Mates of State made a video. Yay. The directions for use are as follows: Peep. Smile. Rinse. Repeat.

Mates of State: "My Only Offer"

Love it like u crazy!


Sunday, June 15, 2008

Yo Momma: Afghanistan

What can I say? The show is on right now and it's Sunday. Sue me. (Kay please don't actually do that. While I have a sweatshirt that says UCLA Law I don't actually have any legal background and cannot afford to be sued. Kbai). Just watch. Enjoy the lamety. I'm going to get out of the house and possibly make something of myself.

Nah, probably not. Happy Father's Day bitches.


Saturday, June 14, 2008


Okay I'm currently in love with this song. Like, for seriously. Can't get it out of my head, wake up singing it, put it on as soon as I get in the car kind of infatuation. Normally I'm not a big fan of country/indie pop/rock girl groups with a twang-ish guitar and harmonic vocals. I usually leave those sorts of bands to the girls who like Liz Phair.

But this time they trapped me. I swear I listened to shit just like this when I was in like 10th grade. Why am I musically devolving?! It's good stuff nonetheless.

I saw the Bridges live once, when they came up to Atlanta to perform for National Record Store Day. I wrote a little bit about it here. I thought they were great. You'll probably think that too, unless you have no heart.

If that's true, you don't deserve good music. So there.

The Bridges: "Pieces"


The Happening Is NOT Happening

I repeat: The Happening is NOT happening. I made the mistake of going tonight, opening night, to see this movie. I saw the 10:30 showing because the earlier show sold the fuck out before we could even get to the theatre.

Anyway, after standing in the ticket line forever and getting "Umbrella" sung to me by some random dude peddling party fliers and calling me Rihanna (grrrrr), we finally got our tickets for a show that wouldn't start for half an hour so we meandered over to CPK to get some food. While waiting for our takeout, we saw this girl, or maybe woman, anyhow, this chick just sitting all alone at her table. All fucking alone. In a busy, bustling restaurant filled with hearty, friendly banter and waiters laughing with each other and managers flitting around happily. This girl was all alone. Eating her bowl of pasta and trying to distract from the fact that she was by herself by intermittently looking around and checking her cell. My boyfriend and I kept hoping someone would come to her table, whoever she was waiting for, or a friend or her man, but no one came. She had two bowls of pasta and then paid her check and left. It was one of the saddest things I've seen, but I've certainly fucking been there before.

So back to The Happening. OK. Terrible. No, HORRENDOUS. Firstly, it's not scary. Secondly, it's hella gory. And people are dying all over the place. I couldn't handle all the violent innuendo. I was totally doing the peeking through two fingers thing. And the movie goes nowhere. To be fair though, it didn't really start anywhere. I don't want to give away the ending, but this whole thing centers around evil plants, kay? That's why dude threw himself under a lawnmower. 'Cause of a plant. Look, just don't waste your money on this movie.

You'll only be paying for M. Night Shyamalan's summer home in the Poconos.


PS: Zooey Deschanel, while a gorgeous indie music darling, cannot act for shit. Kthxbai.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Lily Allen Speaks Out Against Perez Hilton's Meanie McMeaniness. This Just In: She Also Learns To Use Photoshop

Okay, so Perez Hilton may not be the nicest dude. Well, he isn't. Plain and simp. But little did he know that mussing with Miss Allen would lead to a fiery wrath in the form of mature words, a Myspace blog, and some comma splices. Let's watch.

(from LA's blog)

I don't know why this has annoyed me so much. If I'm honest, it's probably because part of it is true these days I am more known for being a train wreck than a musician, and it does hurt. I've been working really hard on my new record; I don't think it sucks by the way. I haven't released a record for two years, so it's totally understandable that people don't write about my music anymore, however it's not fair to say that I'm washed up and it's not fair to make up these feuds between people. Not everyone's lives are fuelled by egos and jealousy, mine is certainly not. There was a time when Amy came out, that I was a little jealous, she has an amazing voice and writes incredible songs, what singer wouldn't be a little jealous of that, but I'd never let those feelings become unhealthy. And this is not meant in any way but I'd never heard of Katy Perry before I came here a few days ago, I didn't even know she was on Capitol, who by the way are not my label. I am signed to Regal Records in the UK and Capitol distributes my records here in America. I don't feel like I've been shoved aside for anyone, I haven't got a record out yet, so why would anyone be focusing their energies on me when there's nothing to work on! I have never been a "golden girl" and I think I visited Capitols office in New York once, about a year a half ago. I very much doubt they had a picture of me in their lobby. The point I'm trying to make is these stories are just not true. If the word reportedly exists in a story it means that it's pretty much a lie, it means they can't prove what they're writing and their just covering their backs. Perez doesn't even do this he just writes things that aren't true with no shame about it, and it's sad. I read these posts on his website about anti – bullying campaigns and all these good causes, and while I used to enjoy reading his site it seems to me that recently he has become what he hates so much, a bully. He bullies young, successful females; people usually bully people they're jealous of so I'll let you come to your own conclusion on that one. Anyway, I've got nothing against Perez personally, I don't assume to know him, what I do know is this though, he has a HUGE crush on my old manager, who I fired with a few months ago. Maybe this is his way of getting his attention or in his good books, or maybe it's because I turned down the opportunity of going on his TV show when he asked me to, or maybe because I'm friends with Samantha Ronson , who is so lovely by the way and not what Perez makes her out to be, who knows? Anyways, I hope you'll all like my new material, if not, looks like I'll have to find something else to do.

Who could have seen that coming? (Stevie Wonder, perhaps?) Kudos to Lily for keeping it hella real. Realer than that Hot Topic poser Perez. Now how did this ish get started? Because Mr. Hilton thought it would be cute to post this little gem:

And the battle is on! It's hard to stay on top in the music industry. Just ask Lily Allen! Lily used to be Capitol Records' "golden girl" but lately she's just been slipping. She's known these days more fore being a tragic train wreck than a musician. She knows it too. That must hurt! And, now, it seems she's been replaced. Replaced by none other than a Perez fad, Katy Perry, which we first introduced you to last year. Katy also performed at our kick ass party in Austin during SXSW this past March. Well, according to reports, a music industry insider has said, "Lily Allen is peeved at Capitol. She feels like they've shoved her aside to focus all their energies on their new girl of the moment, Katy Perry." But the real insult, according to the source, came when the label "replaced a photo of Lily Allen with one of Katy Perry" in its office main lobby. Ha ha ha!!!!! Lily is starting to look like washed-up goods. The only thing that can save Allen now???? If she makes a good sophomore album! But, from what we're hearing, Lily's new material s-u-c-k-s.

In addition to the snazzy retort on Lily's side, someone taught her how to Photoshop, creating this adorable pic she's daring Perez to post up on his site. Oooh...sounds like middle school all over again!
Hmmmm...while Katy Perry is gorgeous and I did once mistake her for Zooey Deschanel when I saw her on TRL yesterday, Lily's got a track record like few other women, no? If you care to read a much funnier, far more sarcastic take on this "Kat" fight (hahahaha...), head over to the 'Gum and read your asses off. This is Erika, signing off. Thank you and goodbye.


Thursday, June 12, 2008

Everyone Nose Remix!!!!

Whoa! This shit is hotter than Sacramento in August! Shit, it's hotter than Joshua Tree in August! I guess everyone "nose" about this track...haha (terrible, terrible pun), and thought it was slightly smoldering at best. So they said, "hmmm, who could get on this and make it reallllly hot?"

Introducing "Everyone Nose" remix feat. Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, Pusha T! Peep scene:

Best lyric ever: "she stopped drinking diet coke, she on that coke diet"


ZOMG I Remember This Show!!

Anyone remember this show from back when? I used to watch it all the time when I was littler. I was so down with those cynical, sarcastic ladies!

But anyone else wonder whether Brett Butler used to be a dude? Her voice is so husky! Watching this show again, on Oxygen, makes me seriously question why this show was my ish back in the day. Oh what? There's a marathon? Damn.

And did you know they worked this shit out in Russian? Yeah! Who knew they could swear on public Russian cable?

He don't need that shit.


This Is Yellow

This post is brought to you today by the letter G. And the letter L. And A. And S. And S. And C. And A. And N. And D. AND Y.

It's a busy day for letters, obvi. If you couldn't put all ten letters together (you need to learn to read), I'll help you. Glass Candy.

No, it's not slang for the shard infused candied apples mean spirited people (read:me) give out on Halloween. It's even better. It's music.

Glass Candy is some kind of something. They reside permanently in Hustle Town (where I happen to have a summer home) and probably spend their nights falling asleep to "Boogie Wonderland" in the rebuilt Studio 54.

Fronted by Ida No, a glorious glam goddess of the mic, Glass Candy makes electro music. But it's almost not enough to say they make electro music. They make something out of this world, really. It's sexy techno, it's R&B, it's got a little bit of pop to it. You want to make love to it, you want to skate in a roller rink to it, you want to blast it while your driving cross country at sunset.

I once read that Ida No and crew hail from Jersey. Then I read they were from Portland. No one knows, obvi. Their latest album B/E/A/T/B/O/X got an 8.1 out of 10 from Pitchfork. They pretty much stay out of the states when they tour, but they even have a date lined up for a show in 2010 on Mars! How bomb is that?! They're gonna colonize that planet before we can!

Their label, Italians Do It Better Records, is really obscure so actually getting your paws on anything Glass Candy is very difficult. Espesh trying to get any new or vinyl releases. You can get some of them here.

I highly recommend jetting to their Myspace and listening to the tracks that aren't readily available, like "Candy Castle" and "Beatific."

"Digital Versicolor"

Glass Candy: "Digital Versicolor"

Glass Candy: "Life After Sundown"

There's always light on the horizon.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008


What the fuck is this?

I mean, I know what it is, but for goodness sakes. Really?

I Wanna Go Back To LA Now!!!

Enough trying to be brave and dour...I wanna go back to Los Angeles!! I am now okay with whining like a little baby to anyone and everyone near me about how much I want to be in California again. Who cares if they want to listen? They have to!!! Ughhhh, I hate summers in Atlanta!!! They're so unpredictable!!

It wasn't even remotely warm here until the end of May and as soon as June hit, the temperature went haywire. It's been 93-95 everyday since like, June 3rd or something! Wahhhh, I'm hot!! I don't mind heat, but it feels like the sun is trying to have a piggyback ride on my back. I'm afraid to wear pants because I will spontaneously combust, but I can't afford new clothes and I don't have any good shorts, except for a high waisted pair I bought from F21 eons ago when I'd planned to lose weight.

But this heat is so dry and brutal! It was supposed to be mid 80s today because it's gonna rain, but it's 93 right now! If I cry, will my tears turn to dust?

In LA, it is not going to get higher than 81 this week. Friday, June 20 in LA looks like 75. In ATL, it looks like 86. Someone kill me, and bury my corpse near an ice floe.


Magazines And Me

I like to collage. Why? Gawd, you ask sooo many questions! Well because I like to put things together in a creative way and I like being able to use random shots and words to form something meaningful. And because I can draw fairly decently, but I can collage circles around my art friends.

So as I was rounding up a few magazines to get a start on my new collage (old Nylons, double issues of Teen Vogue, a few Cosmos, but I never touch the Missbehaves because they come out quarterly and are therefore a hot commodity), I got to thinking about how I felt about magazines.

I love them. I love how for some they can be 290 page bibles, filled with glossy pages of mantras, wisdom, and life advice, but for some they can be a way to get through the day. When I was in school, I read the same issue of Nylon over and over and over again, just to combat the boredom. I can almost dictate that issue to you now.

Some people buy magazines for the articles, and some people buy them for the cover model (how I impulsively bought ElleGirl for the Adam Brody cover), and some people buy them purely based on the faith that it, based on what it says on the cover, will have all the things they want to read about.

It amazes me how a group of people can fit hours of conversation about fashion, culture, music, or food neatly into 100 pages. Certain articles can change people's lives, cause an epiphany, make your sex life better, update your wardrobe, or help someone lose 20 pounds. People live for magazines, people die for magazines. Editors-In-Chief of magazines are like celebrities. Anna Wintour, Amy Astley, Mary HK Choi, and Marvin Scott Jarrett can transform the masthead into a calling card of all-knowers of pop culture and style.

And I love zines. I love the idea of people turning to an organic creative outlet to voice their beliefs and opinions instead of just logging into Blogger and typing it out for people to randomly stumble upon.

In fact, I used to have a zine. I became antsy after endlessly pouring over my Nylons and Missbehaves and dreaming of writing for one, one day. So I made one of my own. It was called White Rice Magazine, and it was 2 only pages long because I made it on Microsoft Word, which is the only computer program I've mastered save for Powerpoint, but I wrote every article in it happily. It covered new music, fashion trends, upcoming Atlanta shows, recommended reading and a rant about whatever retarded celebrity was being retarded. It even included a current events story. It was published every 2 weeks. I distributed it to three of my friends and my mother and I was soooo proud of it.

I guess I have waxed poetic about magazines long enough, but I truly do love them. I even wrote a little love letter to a certain AWEsome mag awhile back. Now I almost buy them just to collect them. I have two years of Seventeen, two years of Teen Vogue, a year of Nylon, all the Missbehaves except for the first issue, a year of Under the Radar, assorted issues of Cosmopolitan, CosmoGirl, Jane, Entertainment Weekly, and even a year of issues from Dog Fancy back when my mom let me buy a magazine subscription in middle school.

So I'm done. The end. I sort of want to start writing White Rice again; I'd kind of just let it go, but I suppose I might when I get to the Valley and have people to distribute it to. Kthxbai.

“All "little" magazines have the luxury of thinking the reader is the same person as their editors.”

---William Whitworth


Holt Goes To Hollywood

Ohai I got a new layout. Likes? You do?! Thx! I don't know how I feel about it just yet, but if anyone runs across a cute template site, lemme know!

Anyway, after some general boredom, I took my cyber-ass to the Adult Swim website and downloaded their new compilation mixtape, Worldwide Renewal Program. Yeah, you didn't know Adult Swim put music together?

Well now you know! Oh! You just been learned homie!

So on this mixtape is a rapper called Hollywood Holt. He's not from Hollywood btw. He's from Chi-town. I know! I got confused too! I listened to his song, "Hollywood." And fell like so in lurve with it. I went to his website and turns out homeboy has a mixtape of his own, called Holt Goes to Hollywood.

I downloaded it (duh) and ALLZ I can say is mad props to my man! The whole 22 track mixtape is ALMOST flawless except for the fact that he can't seem to get the lead-ins to the next song to gel quite right, but overlooking that, the rap game may have just found a new contender.

Hollywood Holt is ALLZ about mopeds and ain't taking no shit from the "bitches in the parking lot." If he had a cute bitch, he'd throw her on the back of his moped and glide away with his newly acquired eBay treasures.

Dude is cooler than the other side of the pillow. His genius is taking already popular songs and turning them into his own by rapping over the beat, or throwing in a verse of his. ("Throw Some D's On It" became "Throw A Kit On That Bitch", about his moped obvi. "Beat In My Trunk" has samples from that "Cryptonite" song.)

There's even a new My!Gay!Husband! remix of Fiest's "My Moon My Man" with Hollywood Holt. Did I mention Steven Hawking did the intro and outro to this shit?! Damn!

The best songs, hands down, are "Throw a Kit on it," "Rapture," and "Kingdom Come." Whoever produced this ish should be given some kind of award.

Obvi I could go on all day about Hollywood Holt, but I'm sure people read blogs so they don't have to read, so I won't. Just cop that mixtape here, and listen to Hollywood Holt here.

"Throw A Kit"

No biterz!