Thursday, March 25, 2010

love is a seven letter word (s-p-l-o-o-s-h)


AHHHHH, YOU GUYS! AHHH TILL THE END OF TIME! archer's season finale was what, like, a whole week ago? and i still haven't said anything about this show? WHAT UP WITH THAT? and it's especially crazy that i haven't broken my silence re: archer because i love it so much. like, seriously? ever since the untimely demise of 70/30 productions, and, subsequently, its creations frisky dingo and sealab: 2021 (RIP, pour one out for the annihilatrix and grizzlebee's onion bursts, respectively), i have had a hole in my heart that seemingly no adult cartoon could fill. i resorted to empty sex, as is my way, but no amount of monotonous boning via worthless TV programming was enough. I HAD A HUNGER. A DESIRE. A FIRE. ALL THE MAKINGS OF A HIT 80s ROCK BALLAD.

then archer came along. and i was like, what is this? what will this be? i found it comforting that the animation style was so much like frisky dingo's, and like a soft blanket you jacked from your gram's place because it smelled like childhood (cheap beer and plastic furniture covers in the summer), i wrapped myself up in it and settled in.

and oh my god. archer blew my mind. to be fair though, my mind is pretty easy. you don't know how many times i've had to stop my brain and be like, "dude, come on. he doesn't actually drive a benz. and his condo is a crack den. just because he dances well and bought you a drink doesn't mean you should go home with him tonight. brain! brain! don't get in that car! i'm calling you a cab. YOU'RE DRUNK." even still, i thought archer was great. i slowly felt that hole in my heart start to fill up until there wasn't one anymore. it was nice and smooth, like the part of the road near my house that got re-paved.

anyway, i could go on all day about how great the sharp writing and the casting (oh my god, JESSICA WALTERS WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH FOR TWO ROLES: LUCILLE BLUTH AND MALORY ARCHER. I'M SERIOUS. WE'RE DONE HERE. and fuckkkkkk meeeee with a chaaaiiinnsaaaw i am so glad to see h. jon benjamin back on a cartoon. i missed him so hard post-home movies. you know that scene where coach mcguirk is trying to become a bartender but keeps failing and ends up drunk on all the ridiculously bad cocktails he's mixed at home for himself? you know that's basically a metaphor for my life? oh, thought you knew.) are and how perfect ALL of it is, because it ALL is, but mostly i want to talk about how meaningful the season finale ("dial m for mother") was to me. it like, took all these warm, fuzzy feelings i had, bought them a pretty little princess dress and a corsage, and escorted them to the senior prom of MY HEART. it was, in a nutshell, EVERYTHING i missed about frisky dingo. everything i watched archer for. everything i love about adult cartoons. and more. ANDDDD MORRRREEEE.

without giving away any of the storyline, because it's pretty interesting, i just want to point out a few things that got me in *here* (by 'here' i definitely mean heart. not mouth, you jerk! IT'S NOT ALWAYS FOODFOODFOOD with me, you know!):

  • the constant use of the word "sploosh." x-tacles, anybody? "boosh"? classic catchphrase. sploosh took me there. took me back to the days of saying BOOSH! after everything.
  • how much pam reminds me of valerie, killface's former assistant. like, JESUS. she's hell-bent on getting someone to sleep with her and she possesses that same bitter, cynical, annoyed view of the world. seriously, the parallels between the two of them light up my world.
  • the running steuben bar glass set joke! AHHHH, YOU GUYS! flashbacks to simon and the bowls! "THAT'S OUR LAST BOWL!" tears in my eyes. glow in my heart.
from the c-storyline involving the russian agents with the fake baby to the machine built just to erotically asphyxiate cheryl to the KGB agent that keeps running around holding a pink silk nightie, this episode was the most perfect departure from all the (relative) normalcy that archer possesses. this is where it just dove face first into absurdity, but it was lovely and hilarious and everything was beautiful and nothing hurt and i mean, i can't even begin to tell you how it felt to finally connect with a show as much as i connected with frisky dingo. it was just fan-fucking-tastic.

and yes, archer does have its moments of ableism and sexism, but i can appreciate that they're acknowledged as character flaws vs the family guy method of shrugging, muttering, "welp!" and accepting that a baby is just going to be racist. BECAUSE WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO, RIGHT? it also bothers me somewhat how lana's body is illustrated: big tits, tiny waist, skimpy clothes, does a lot of gun shooting in lingerie. it's a little too lara croft for me but WHATEVER, GUYS! NOTHING'S PERFECT!

so basically i just want infinite seasons of archer forever and ever until i die. or until the jokes get stale and make me lose the will to live. i'm looking at you, the office.

43 comments:

anonanimal said...

ARCHER IS FUCKING AMAZING.

Dear god, my best friend and I would tune in every Thursday.

Also, Jessica Walters, oh god, I don't even have words. I DON'T EVEN HAVE WORDS.

Dylan said...

Yyyuuup!

PokCalaway0710 said...

may the blessing be with you.........................................

JeremiahRenne332 said...

初到貴寶地,拜碼頭!!!請多指教! ........................................

皇雯 said...

Thx ur share........................................

CleoL_V said...

百發百中不是一試就成的。 ..................................................

志穎 said...

失去金錢的人,失去很多;失去朋友的人,失去更多;失去信心的人,失去所有。...............................................................

皮皮 said...

A good medicine tastes bitter. .............................................

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雅婷 said...

Learning makes a good man better and ill man worse...................................................

昱宏彥良 said...

如果,人類也像鼠輩一般,花很多時間來吃飯和睡覺,一定會改善健康。 ....................................................

rlkris said...

喜歡你的部落格,留言請您繼續加油........................................

esthermelvin said...

It takes all kinds to make a world..................................................................

建月 said...

Man proposes, God disposes...................................................................

朱榮 said...

好熱鬧喔 大家踴躍的留言 讓部落格更有活力.....................................................................

李哲維 said...

死亡是悲哀的,但活得不快樂更悲哀。....................................................................

韋志韋志 said...

幸福不是一切,人還有責任。.................................................................

雅慧雅慧 said...

幸福不是一切,人還有責任。............................................................

戴昀德 said...

累死了…來去看看文章轉換心情~.......................................................

雲亨雲亨雲亨 said...

唯有穿鞋的人,才知道鞋的哪一處擠腳............................................................

吳婷婷 said...

花花公子的責任就是要很平均的愛他認識的每一個女孩子~~我們的責任則在於公平的回應每一篇blog............................................................

吳婷婷 said...

Better say nothing than nothing to the purpose...................................................................

楊儀卉 said...

好的開始並不代表會成功,壞的開始並不代表是失敗............................................................

陳芳 said...

在莫非定律中有項笨蛋定律:「一個組織中的笨蛋,恆大於等於三分之二。」. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

蕙春蕙春 said...

More haste, less speed.............................................................

s陳andersr睿afae婷l said...

Pay somebody back in his own coin.............................................................

黃昱行黃昱行 said...

期待更新,要保持最佳狀況呦..................................................................

志火吟義 said...

當最困難的時候,也就是離成功不遠的時候。..................................................

彥麗威霞 said...

絕不要羞於承認自己不知道的事。..................................................

shitjennylikes said...

Are you alive?

黃子黃麗旺軒 said...

有用的才華若不用,便如同日晷儀放在陰暗之中............................................................

凱v胡倫 said...

培養健全孩子最好的方法是父母先成為健全的人。......................................................................

于庭吳 said...

打聲招呼,祝你一切平安!............................................................

峻胡邦慧v帆 said...

笑口常開~~天天開心............................................................

靜蔡蔡蔡蔡怡 said...

Poverty tries friends...................................................................

惠邱邱邱邱雯 said...

唯有穿鞋的人,才知道鞋的哪一處擠腳......................................................................

佳張張張張燕張張張張張 said...

培養健全孩子最好的方法是父母先成為健全的人。......................................................................

1615 said...

你的部落格很棒,我期待更新喔............................................................

孫邦柔 said...

好文章,希望能一直看到您的PO文......................................................

said...

我新來的~大家可交個朋友嗎(・ˍ・).....................................................

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