Nope. Not Okay. Not Even A Little. Yep. Nope.

I do not like Pete Wentz. Those who come in close contact with me on a mildly daily basis know this. Last Halloween I got into a discush with two chicks I happened to meet while waiting for MIA to show up for an in-store signing at Criminal and I told them I thought Pete Wentz was "a dick with a body." That shit is verbatim, son. And I stand by it.

Needless to say, I also hate MTV. If it wasn't for America's Best Dance Crew and Next (guilty pleasure, mos def), I wouldn't give that channel the time of day. But I do occasionally watch it, but not for the music, of which there is now none.

It's been like twenty years since there's been music on MTV. I have accepted it. It's okay, okay? Listening, MTV? We're on civil terms as long as the balance you've struck is carefully maintained. Your attempts at music have been few and far between and that's okay. MTV2 is alright with me. I don't know why, but something about it feels slightly alternative. Look, it's cool and that's how we'll leave it.

But why, oh why, MTV would you combine the two most unnecessary things about you (Wentz and music) in hour long block form? What the hell is this? FNMTV? I get it, it's cute. Ahahahaha. I'm laughing. You hear it?

This FNMTV thing, a study in stupidity, is hosted by Wentz, featured the new Vampire Weekend vid, and had commentary by Katy Perry and some passively pretentious music journalist. The show even lets you (sad fatty on couch wannabe music journ), review what you see. Like this girl. She knows things. Music is the new Bono. Lil Wayne ain't.



This is a problem. This is just not going to work out. I don't want to see new cutting-edge vids on MTV. There are other places I can go for that, like the Internet.

In the meantime, MTV, stick to what you're good at: being a vehicle for reality telewhores and geeky highschoolers that want to become hip hop rappers.

Kthxbai.

Deuces,
Erika

Katy Perry Is NOT Peaches

I don't hate Katy Perry. I don't like Katy Perry. I am completely ambivalent when it comes to her music. I will note that she is gorgeous. I will note that she really likes her cat. I will note that she has beef with Sarah Morrison. I will also note:

THAT SHE IS NOT, NOR WILL SHE EVER BE PEACHES.

Having forayed into that big uber world of music journalism, I know that proper reviews are written chock full of references to other musicians the reviewee may sound like. I.e. saying White Hinterland is reminiscent of a "Samson" era Regina Spektor. Because it helps you understand what the album or artist under review sounds like. It's convenient. It's passively pretentious, because it suggests that the reviewer has such a vast knowledge of music that they can liken current musicians to older artists without even thinking twice. It is the bread and butter of a music journalist. I get it.

But this must stop:

Not since Peaches has a saucy songstress taken sass this far. Over singsongy antipop ballads, Perry skewers all that the scene--and plain good taste--holds sacred. Sample lyric: "You're so indie-rock it's almost an art/ You need SPF 45/ Just to stay alive."

Okay. This is incorrect. Having been a fan of Peaches circa Impeach My Bush I can easily say she doesn't even run in the same spectrum as Katy Perry. So stop saying that, alright? It's not Katy's fault. She doesn't write these retarded reviews. But all music journalists, real (music site, magazine) or not (blog), just find someone else to say she sounds like. Please!

Kthxbai.

Deuces,
Erika