If You Could Only FEEL What I Am Seeing

My math class, Developmental Mathematics 93 AKA Math for those who didn't care enough in high school or on the SATs or on the ELM exam, has been a constant source of entertainment since the year started. From the slightly overcast redhead, to the dudes doing the gangsta lean in the corner, to the kids that are always playing with each other's hair, to the "I'm really just doing this for the credits" tutors, I look forward to going to that class for the people. The lessons? Dude, I learned this stuff twice already.

That's right. I had to repeat Algebra in 9th grade.

Anyway, so what's currently panning out to be a potentially exciting and interesting plot development are the love triangles sprouting up all over the place. Well, they're not exactly "love" triangles per se, since they're all crushes, but this is fun!

Let me lay it out for you guys. There are about 7 key players in this production:

Me (puleeze don't ask how I got stuck in this. It just doesn't pay to be a cute girl who can get along with guys well these days)
Chris
Eduardo
Adrian
Hot Topic Redhead Girl (HTRG)
Blond Chick Whose Name I Don't Know (Blondie)
Girl Who Hangs Out With The Girl Who Lives In My Building (Understudy)

So, despite only knowing him for about 3 months, Blondie likes Chris. She shoots him smiles and laughs when he does stupid shit. Unfortunately for her, Chris likes me. These feelings are unreturned, obvi, because I sorta have a little crush on Eduardo. He's really awesome. It's like a baby crush though...it's definitely not going anywhere. Enter Adrian, who hails from Napa Valley and likes me. He asked me to hang out with him Friday night but I told him I had other plans. (Yeah, sit in front of the cough stuffing my face with cereal right out of the box and making good friends with the Internet) Luckily for me, HTRG enjoys Adrian's company. In fact, I thought he was trying to get with her before he suddenly started trying to woo me for some odd reason. Now here's where the Understudy comes in. She has a thing for Eduardo, who reeeeally doesn't like her. Whatevs. I could touch him before she could. But I won't. I can keep my hands to myself.

You see what I am walking into three days a week? A room full of undersexed, overly hormonal kids who are all lusting over each other. I swear...if you came in there, you'd see it too.

E

WTF To Infinity

Hmmm...boys are weird. Espesh boys that hint at things and beat around the bush in reference to things that don't even make sense to you. My boyfriend is talking to me on the phone and is all mysterious and whanot, saying, "I know your dirty little secret."

I am like, "what are you talking about?"

He just repeats the same sentence. I tell him how vague he's being and then he says that he's purposely being vague.

Then I say, "Being vague is for poets and hipsters."

But that's the end of the topic. What is he talking about? It sounded like he was smiling when he said it. Ah well. If he's talking about the blog, then ohai Sam! I love you! But if not then he's found something of mine that I didn't even know about.

Dudes. Boys are so weird. I wish I could throw cats at their heads sometimes. Then again, I'm pretty weird too. Maybe that's why we mesh so well.

Deuces,
Erika

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Ohai did anyone know that I knew how to play the piano? Yeah, I had my last recital when I was sixteen. I just thought about it because once I sat down and tried to play that song, "My Favorite Things" from...Mary Poppins, right? But it was pretty difficult so I gave up a page in.

So anyway, forlorn, confused, and still wide awake at half till one, I'm looking at adorbz clothes I would love to buy from Forever 21. I stumbled onto a ginormous one today, uh, and then got lost in Calabasas. My mom said, "go find the Kardashians and ask them how to get home." Real cute.

Let's get to the clothes!


So basically I love this dress. I think with my short haircut and flair for patterned headbands, solid colored flats, and inclination for knee high socks, I could really reproduce one hell of a Tracyanne Campbell look.


This is like the dress that would be sold in a cooler sillhouette at Urban Outfitters for twice the price, but, you being poor like me, would settle on this version from Forever 21. I like it anyway, and would be qualm-less about rocking with a white button down and black ankle boots. Yeah, that's right. I should be a stylist. Hire me.


I am sort of at a loss for words for this particular dress. I think it could be really cute with a retro outfit theme in mind, but I can also see it going slutty chic far too fast. This one is a toss up.

Now go be consumers!

Deuces,
Erika

Everything I Need To Know About LA I Learned From Sarah Morrison

Some new things I have learned while being poor, lonely, and mildly adorable in LA:

Cigarettes can be used in exchange for giving bums money. This works out if you are like me and are not really a big smoker but somehow always have a cigarette and no money on you.

Paper clips = bobby pins. I ran out of things to hold my hair up with this morning (bobby pins, clips, pencils) so I bent a paper clip. Voila! Insta-bobby pin.

Don't wear long jackets. Someone asked me how much I was charging when I did.

Corn is just as good a meal as it is a side dish. Sometimes I eat it right out of the can. Sprinkle on some salt and pep and you have dinner for .65!

Dig up your VCR. Movies on tape are like .99 nowadays.

Valley girls really do exist. Enough said.

Have nice hair. It's the only thing you'll ever get complimented on.

The end.

Oh, and be a good blogger. Not like me, who wastes posts with silly comics and useless observations. Just a little longer until my bf ships me my old White Rice drafts, and then things will get really neat! Promise!

And make sure to keep it sexy.

Deuces,
Erika

Weird Things Erika Says

Anyone who knows me well pretty much knows that aside from very rare ocassions, there is basically no filter from my brain to my mouth. I tend to say anything, anytime, usually for no real reason. I'm thinking of making this a daily feature, since I always say at least one weird thing a day. Maybe, maybe not. But for now, let's take a look back at weird shit I've said in the past.

"You make me so mad I wish I could grow a million fists and then punch you with all of them."

"I didn't pay ten dollars to stare at the backs of dudes' heads, I paid ten dollars to see some naked women!"

"She looked like the grown up version of those scary little pageant girls."

"I'm convinced the place where she used to live didn't have doors, it just had open walkways, because she doesn't know how to close a door without slamming it."

"We're going to the park. Oh, um, nevermind, no we're not. I'm going to commit suicide instead."

"Your toothpaste smells like ham."

"Can you mail me some quarters so I can do my laundry?"

"I don't know the Heinrich Manuever!"

"You choked into my glass of water!"

"Well you could have at least asked me something exciting, like 'Are you hungry?'"

"The dentist was drilling my teeth forever. It sounded like an Animal Collective song."

"Hurricane Ike is a gas killer!"

"That dog is a hypochondriac!"

"I like candy corn. It tastes like sugar and wax."

Deuces,
Erika