Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Weird Things Erika Says

Anyone who knows me well pretty much knows that aside from very rare ocassions, there is basically no filter from my brain to my mouth. I tend to say anything, anytime, usually for no real reason. I'm thinking of making this a daily feature, since I always say at least one weird thing a day. Maybe, maybe not. But for now, let's take a look back at weird shit I've said in the past.

"You make me so mad I wish I could grow a million fists and then punch you with all of them."

"I didn't pay ten dollars to stare at the backs of dudes' heads, I paid ten dollars to see some naked women!"

"She looked like the grown up version of those scary little pageant girls."

"I'm convinced the place where she used to live didn't have doors, it just had open walkways, because she doesn't know how to close a door without slamming it."

"We're going to the park. Oh, um, nevermind, no we're not. I'm going to commit suicide instead."

"Your toothpaste smells like ham."

"Can you mail me some quarters so I can do my laundry?"

"I don't know the Heinrich Manuever!"

"You choked into my glass of water!"

"Well you could have at least asked me something exciting, like 'Are you hungry?'"

"The dentist was drilling my teeth forever. It sounded like an Animal Collective song."

"Hurricane Ike is a gas killer!"

"That dog is a hypochondriac!"

"I like candy corn. It tastes like sugar and wax."