Friday, December 12, 2008

My Life Can Be Summed Up In Yellow Lights

So, so very close, but never quite there. Gawd...I need a drink. A serious one. I need motivation. I need stability, dependability, practicality...I need to have fun. Even the strongest people have rocks of their own...why do mine keep crumbling? I'm looking for metaphors in everything. I feel ridiculous 99.9% of the time. The other .1% of the time I feel anxious. I'm getting out of bed only to spend my day mentally asleep. I stay busy doing nothing. I make plans that don't follow through so I can have things to look forward to, even if they're disappointments.

I keep cutting my parachute line before I jump. I keep looking for the sun in broad daylight. I keep passing the time by counting the seconds. I keep getting sucked in and consciously making the same mistakes because I hope for a different outcome each time. But that's insanity, right?

Right?

E

2 comments:

rana said...

Wow, i think we're twins. Btw, everyone's insane.

M.LUNA said...

Insane..I don't think so0o..sounds more like depression. You wake up but you're not really awake. I know because it sounds all to0o familiar. I've been there more than once and it isn't fun. just don't let yourself slip to0o far down. I don't know you but judging from your blog somehow I think that you will be okay because you don't seem like the type to want to stay miserable. As for the rocks crumbling, sometimes you are the only thing you have and you need to prepare for those moments for whenever they might come if ever. As we live we learn.