Sunday, October 12, 2008

"Hey Erika, You Wanna Go Have Sex In The Bathroom With Me?"

Ugh, I'm sick. Gross. I think I might have a cold, but it won't make a difference since they won't give me time off at work. But that's just retarded, because I will get everyone sick in the process of their making money. Coworkers...customers...maybe I'll get my managers sick so they see how serious this is. Goals are good.

At Amoeba last Friday I found some old Joan Rivers standup in the clearance vinyl bin. I also got the prerequisite Barbra records. When I was at the counter, the clerk saw the Joan Rivers record and said, "I forgot she did standup!" And I said, "Yeah, it was a long time ago. You can tell because her face looks relatively normal." Earlier that Friday Shmarah was showing me how the website works. Then she said something about how Shmam is 34 and I'm 18. And I thought to myself, "Oh my god, there's a whole Olivia between us!"

Last night my boyfriend was talking about moving in with my mom, which is super weird. But my mom has practically adopted him anyway, so it might not be weird after all. I told him, "tell me if you move into my room so I can make sure to put up yellow CAUTION tape around everything." At work my retarded boss was telling me how America is functioning because of the hardworking people in it. He showed me how to put a crease tag on pants and then said that dedication is making America great. I went to my coworker and asked if she was creasing pants. She said "no." I told her, "You're ruining America!"

On Friday in my stupid people math class, we're discussing this kid who sometimes talks to us named Roger. Last time we all spoke Roger informed us that he only liked hooking up with girls but hated relationships, which I thought was odd because he'd never been in one. So on Friday he wasn't there. My friend Eddy was like, "I can't imagine him getting girls just for sex. I think he would be one of those people who's mad if you don't have sex with them." Then he turned to me. "Erika, how would you feel if he just said, 'Hey Erika, you wanna go have sex in the bathroom with me, really quickly?'" I said, "I think I would be a little scared." He said, "A little?!""

To get out of my depressed state of being, I've been listening to Fleetwood Mac, which sounds counterproductive, but is actually nice. My ringtone is "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys. I was sitting in my room when my phone went off in the middle of "Landslide." I picked it up and informed my bf that it had scared me because I was just listening to music when it rang. He asked me what I was going listening to Fleetwood Mac. I said, "Mourning." Recently, the school's wi-fi was out. My roommate Melissa and I were in our room with nothing to do. She said she needed to iron her dress. Because I had nothing better to do, I offered to iron it. I said, "This is what I have for entertainment now when there's no internet. What am I supposed to do next, churn butter?!"

I hope next weekend is less sucky than this one.

Deuces,
Erika

2 comments:

ANGELICA! said...

omgggg i KNOW why cant we just sit around in bed and eat junk food and not move our actual bodies and have chinese delivered to the comfort of our own home? lol and we are awake really early in the morning so that obvi means we are the coolest people ever right now...right? RIGHT. lawl. i need to go to sleep bc my brain is not actually functioning right now.
p.s i <3 your blog
p.p.s i know i am blog commenting at a really weird time but ia m surprisingly not creepy! which is good news i guess

LEO said...

LMAO.

YOUR HILARIOUS!