Happy Birthday Jewels!

As everyone knows, Jewels is amazing. She's up on the dopest, flyest, most Missbehave shit out there. Plus she makes I Love NY totes that are a must have and she makes videos from her basement! This girl goes to all the bomb parties and still remembers enough of them to tell us (her excited and loyal readers) about them. Plus she's wise like nobody's business and incredible kind. So here's to Jewels' 26th birthday! May she have 26 more!

Oh wait, that makes her 52. So 26 more! And then like 40 after that! So 66 more birthdays! Yeah, we'll go with that.

So happy birthday girl! Pop bottles, buy up Brooklyn, or eat your weight at that cheese bar, whatever makes you happy, because you deserve it! And no birthday is complete without a wonderful and joyful seal photo! So here you go:

Cop the I Love NY totes here and peep the amazingness that is Jewels here and here.

Let's all be dope bitches till we die!

Deuces,
Erika

This Week On The Music Front

Ugh, it's Sunday. Normally this would make me so bored and stir crazy I would want to scoop out my eyeballs and eat them with fava beans, but with all the shit that went down this week, this Sunday was a godsend. Plus I definitely had things to look forward to today.

This was a more interesting week for music, Lollapalooza actually notwithstanding. Although it did provide good amounts of interesting stories, pictures, and a big cup of Chi-town haterade for me to sip on. Here's the rundown on everything.

TTFN & CUL8R BYOP

Yes it's true kiddos. Be Your Own Pet is no more. You feel like the longer you pay attention to music, its scene, and the outcome, these kinds of things should not bother you anymore. But as I have followed BYOP since their inception and own all but one of their LPs, CDs, and EPs, this really gets me. Some say it was because they were running into issues with their Get Awkward release, namely censorship problems, but some blamed it on their signing to a big label, Universal, or because they pulled out of the Warped Tour lineup. Whatever it was, it does mean that Jemina and Co. aren't starting any more food fights, telling bitches to leave, or kicking ass at the Dude Zone anytime soon. *Tear slowly rolls down cheek* I hear there are going to be some spinoff bands but NOTHING will be like BYOP. Thank god I got to see them when they opened up for the Arctic Monkeys two years ago.

NME TRIES TO TELL THE US WHY WE'RE COOL AGAIN

This ish went down like tranqqued up grizzly from a treelimb. According to NME, we (America) were cool once, then stopped being cool, and now, thanks to 25 new bands, are offish cooler than the other side of the pillow. And while the editors can acknowledge that we have an underground scene like no other, these bands (read:the ones they picked randomly out of assrtd issues of Paste, Fader, Spin, and Filter) are suddenly making us really legit again. Because uh yeah, before Vampire Weekend, we were just a wasteland. This is the list of bands. Try not to get too angry. Or maybe get angry, and go tell other people what you think:

01 Vampire Weekend

02 Lil Wayne

03 Glass Candy

04 Kings Of Leon

5 MGMT

06 Spank Rock

07 TV On The Radio

08 Boy Crisis

09 Black Kids

10 Holy Ghost Revival

11 The Hold Steady

12 Fleet Foxes

13 Amazing Baby

14 Jay Reatard

15 HEALTH

16 The Cool Kids

17 Black Lips

18 Yo Majesty

19 White Denim

20 Telepathe

21 Iglu and Hartly

22 Chester French

23 Girl Talk
24 TheDeathSet

25 Grace Jones

Like, rly? Girl Talk is that far down? And White Denim? And TVOtR wasn't making us cool back when they actually put out an album? Glass Candy certainly deserves to be that high on the list, but, who put this ish together?

CHESTER FRENCH TALKS TO ME IN WARM, FRIENDLY TONES

I left a comment on Stereogum dealing with all this NME nonsense. Here it is, in full verbatim fashion:

Firstly, good music really is just that. Good music. It comes from Britain and America AND the rest of the UK. Like, Frightened Rabbit are amazing and they're Scottish. Oh yeah, and it DEFINITELY comes from Canada. Stars? The Guest Bedroom? Pony Up? Yes please! Oh yeah, and the Leeds music scene is killing it right now. It deserves something of a recognition since it somehow manages to create a barrier against the shitty typical shetpile of the normal music scene. Oh yeah, and Los Campesinos! Yes please! But keep in mind that NME is the equivalent of a fifteen year old's self published zine. It's whatever music they like...uh,and whoever's show they have a press badge for. I met the dude in TheDeathSet...that band is like Australian. And why are Black Kids and VW so high on that list...because they sound British? Glass Candy pwns and so does Jay Reatard and the Black Lips. But NME did acknowledge that there is a significant underground scene in NY and LA (although those of Philly, Chicago, Atlanta, and Seattle are equally noteworthy), they just choose to ignore it. Whatev. Americans may have had their fill of these bands (Chester French...sigh, whatev), but they're like still hitting the other side of the pond, no? Like Pokemon! But not with Japan, with the UK...okay, so not like Pokemon.

Then I checked my email. I received this message from DA Wallach of Chester French. First I got worried. I get in too much trouble for the things I say on the internet. When that happens, I take a deep breath and ask myself, "What would Sarah Morrison do?" This time I didn't have to:

Hey Erika-

I saw your comment on the stereogum blog where you mention our group, Chester French. I hope no one's had their fill of us yet, since the album isn't even out, but I definitely want to win you as a fan. If you send me your mailing address back I'll mail you a special edition package of our single and shall be sure to get you a copy of the album when it finally sees the light of day! Hope you're having a great weekend.

D.A.

Normally I'd get psuedo-frustrated for people taking the things I say too seriously, but this guy was just tooooo sweet to get angry at. That's Chester French for you, I guess.

All up in ur emale, leevin u messagez.

NEW VIVIAN GIRLS SONG

Someone actually compared them to a crappier version of the Pipettes. I hope she never goes on to have a music journalism career. If she does, it will probably be writing for NME. The Vivian Girls are hot awesomeness from Brooklyn. They're an all girl band that makes muddy and/or raw rock music. It's great. They're great. They just released a new song from their S/T LP called "Where Do You Run To?" and it's sort of good. Play it on a cool, sunny Autumn day, enjoy your tea, and try to figure out the fastest way to get that still sleeping one night stand out of your bed and into a taxi. Uhhh..."I know it's eight in the morning on a Wednesday, but I have to go to church now..."

Vivian Girls: "Where Do You Run To?"

As you can see, it's obvi been a busy week for everyone. In other news (ION is going to be the new abreev for that saying, so you know for future ref), Jessica Fletcher's badass friend Mistress Viviane has a new column going on Single Scoop about "the realities of sex." It's really good and worth reading, because we've all had these bedroom bafflers at least once.

And in case you missed it, Adult Swim ran an Old School night on Friday where they showed old episodes of the shows that originally made AS so fantastic: Sealab 2021, The Brak Show, Home Movies, Space Ghost, etc. What is even more fantastic is that I remember all of those shows. Mid 90's born Hannah Montana tweens? You ain't got shit on me! It was also V's birthday on Friday, the 1st of Aug, so Alex, if you catch my girl on the streets, take her by the hand and buy her a cupcake. Jess Fletch can surely recommend you some good places to go. And now the "p" key on my laptop is stuck. Great.

eace easy eo le,

Erika

100th Post!!!

Actually, this picture was easier to find than you would think.

So this is it! My 100th blog post! I never ever thought I would get to 100, honestly. When I started this blog in May, my first post was about my mad contempt for that stupid rapper Tyga. And look how far I've come! I've made friends and gotten to know people, I've learned things and even made a few blog-enemies!

You might even say that I've arrived! Well, world, here I am! And I'm taking you by storm! I wanna say super sincere thank you's to Monique, Valentina, Storey Schifter, Jtalk, Lolita Hazed, ShannonElaine, Alex, Mz. Sullivan, and all the people on Missbehave who've ever said something nice about me, my blog, or what I write in it. Oh, and to anyone who ever took the time to email me when there were no comments. And I espesh wanna say jumbo popcorn sized thanks to Sarah Morrison for being so awesome and inadvertently giving me a million more readers! Hearts, girl, hearts!

Here's to another 100 posts! I'm winning out and I'm dropping bottles on you hoes! Don't stop believing!

Deuces,
Erika

Happy Birthday, Erika: The Aftermath

Today is my birthday! Did you read the post below? Okay, okay. Good deal, good deal. Well, the day went as follows: (in present tense, because it's funnier)

I wake up early enough to catch the first showing of Maury. Paternity tests till your eyes bleed. After that I fart around for awhile. Boring, boring, boring. I run to Criminal, pick up some concert tickets, harass some skater guys, then go get a manicure.

Dude, you should see my nails. They are so bright and neon orange they should be doing the Safety Dance. Afterwards, I return home, hang with my friends a bit. We act like idiots and spend our time laughing like stoners.

Then we all go bowling. I have some kind of super coupon that allows us to only pay 5 dollars for two games and free shoe rental. We bowl for a bit, all the while trying to avoid the Bratz doll 15 year olds that keep flitting around in little denim shorts and barely there tanktops. And even with all that, these are the things society is having an ish with??

So then it comes time to eat. My cake is at home, but I have carted two boxes of pizza to the alley with me because I have been given permission to by an anonymous Brunswick employee. I am stopped at the door with my pizzas, and told I am not allowed to eat it. Some scuffling later, my homies and I are forced to eat outside, while thunder threatens overhead. Some jokes are made and then we return to bowling.
One round late, we join the currently going trivia game. It is obvious that I know all the answers since I answered all the questions we were too late to answer...correct. My team is called Team AA HAKH, since it is the last letter of all our first names. My idea to name the team Team Bowling Hoes goes unheard.

I bowl a 109, but still lose, and then we manage to come in third in trivia. As a result, we win two free bowling passes none of us will use. I have answered the toughest queshes, like in what country did the futon originate (Japan) and what kind of animal was Rikki Tiki Tavi (mongoose). I am declared amazing. This I know.

In the car back to my place, my two friends and I play an epic and controversial game of Would You Rather? I become the WYR master. Some of my questions are:

Would you rather eat a spoonful of fire ants or lick a cow's ass?
Would you rather stand in a hailstorm naked or stand in a lightning storm wearing an aluminum bikini?
Would you rather be naked and roll around in gravel and rocks or roll around in a tub full of sperm?
Would you rather be high all your life or be drunk all your life?

Some of my friend's equally awesome queshes are:

Would you rather be pressure-washed naked or climb a telephone pole naked?
Would you rather have everything you see be so fuzzy that you can't make out what it is or just be blind?
Would you rather have someone shoot you in the eye or drink a mixture of glass and water?

After that quesh, I added, "and if you had the glass mixture, you had to drink a cup of orange juice." Because I am a sick bastard. And I think making people cringe is funny.

Finally, there is some cake cutting. I cannot properly wield a knife and so an entire cake slice is dropped on the floor. My bad.Some more WYR is played. Some photos are taken. People say goodbye and I watch them leave.

It is a good birthday. But the 4th of July ish still remains to be had.

Deuces,
Erika

Happy Birthday, Erika

Oh...shhhh...listen to that sound...it's me screaming in the distance. Why?

BECAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY BITCHESSSS!!!

If I said I was not waiting twelve months for this single moment in time to happen, I would be lying. I don't know what time it says this post went up, but in Atlanta, it's currently 12:18 am. My boyfriend and I are gonna take out the grill, the beer, da birfday cake, and the fun to the rooftop of these lofts in Downtown Atlanta for a combined 4th of July/Erika's birthday bash spectacular. Equation as follows:

Erika+birthday+fireworks+midnight madness=Sooo much fun!

If you live in the Atlanta area, are not SUPER creepy, are available all night on July 4th, like to hang out with black people and white people that wish they were black, and like free drinks, hit me up and come celebrate the madness with me!

Presents are mandatory. Those who are not in ATL can send them in the mail. I also accept direct faxes of your credit card info. Thx.

Bringing the bashes to the masses!

Deuces,
Erika

UPDATE: I found this rad video on Youtube. It's to a different Erika, obvi, but I'd like to pretend it was made for me.