she is exactly right, you guys.

as even more proof that she is as lovely as she appears, miss frl. zucker caught wind of my (borderline creepy? i'm bad at the internet, i think) post in which i basically confessed my complete and utter adoration of her and used it not to toot her own horn (although it is a horn which deserves as much honking as the one on her supercute bike gwenog jones), but to bouy the self-esteems of her fellow ladies, writing this:

anything i can do you can do too. i neither have a secret talent nor am i gifted. i'm not trying to be modest, this is truly my honest opinion. reading this also made me think of how i am constantly comparing myself to others aswell, how i always think others are so much greater than me, draw better than me, do much cooler things than me, are happier and prettier than me, etc. i don't believe this is a healthy habit. you and i aren't any better or worse than the people around us, i am slowly learning this. everyone can make something from nothing everyday in their own way. you don't have to watch people doing cool things, you can be the one doing those things! you've got the power! seriously.

and you know what, folks? she's right! while i don't think there's anything wrong with admiring someone or a quality of theirs, what do we gain from comparing ourselves to anyone else? nothing, but a one-way ticket to FROWNTOWN (population: you and those annoying hyenas from lion king that really got on my nerves). we have enough shit thrown at us on the daily to waste what's left of our energy on feeling bad about ourselves or what we have to offer! we should be focusing on what we're good at and what makes our boats float. then we should try to get rich and buy me a pizza oven. or not, that's really your call.

but don't get bogged down with what you can't do and look at what you can! pretty please? with sugar and a maraschino (like the cherry?) on top? yes, THANK YOU! i can't even believe this is a lesson we have to keep learning over and over again, but it is and we do. ah well. sisters are doing it for themsellllvessss!

ALSO: sarah and i are working on something super rad and totally bitchin'! so far we're just fleshing out the idea skeletons but if we cna put it on the internet, i think it'll be a big hit. you're gonna love it, pinky promise.

E

Sassy Senoritas Eating Juevos And Gorditas

So some of you guys (V, Sarah, and Alex) might have noticed something pop up in your inbox this morning. That's because I made a new blog! It's called Brooklyn Prom Queen and it's super special because it's just for you guys! By you guys, once again I mean V, Sarah, and Alex. On it we can discuss awesomesauce music, kickass books, movies, and other badass magazines and publications that we like as well as White Rice!

It's basically the blawg Messiah. Oh yeah, so back to your inboxes (what a fucked up plural!), I sent you guys emails so the four of us can all write whatever we want whenever we want!

Brooklyn Prom Queens unite!

E

Mag Hag, Pt 2

I've talked about magazines before, duh. But damn, I really love them. So I'll talk about them again. Each magazine has always served a different purpose for me. When I was a virgin, I would scour the pages of Cosmo to find out enticing sex tips that were sure to make my first time amazing. (Alternatively, I lost my virginity to M83 in my boyfriend's dad's bed while on my period. Cosmo did nothing for me. It mostly just went out my head. Such a sordid past I have.) I flipped through Seventeen with a pink gel pen and circled everything that was $20 or under, and used it as a shopping list. I read up on the history of seminal 90s bands in Alternative Press and then pretended to be really well versed in music. From Entertainment Weekly I learned to be a sarcastic well spoken bitch that could make people laugh as well as report a story without bias. CosmoGirl taught me that virgins are sluttier than people think and from Missbehave...well...I basically got saved.

But since the invention of online indie magazines and the onslaught of startup productions it's started, raw creativity and vision has suddenly got the most amazing outlet, one that allows full interaction with the reader and full control of the writers. We're living in an age where there are no limits, no boundaries, no ceilings on potential, growth, and substance. No longer do you have to create a vapid, mindless mag catering to a pointless and empty headed demographic. No longer do celebrities, scandals, sex, or affairs have to be the paradigm of story fodder. We're in the most amazing age where we can literally transfer our thoughts, unyielding, uncompromising, and unstoppable, from person to person in their purest form.

That is the vision I have for White Rice. I've talked about WR before, obvi, but with a futuristic tone. At first I did see it as a venture meant for a later time in my life, where I would be graduated and settled. (And hopefully getting laid a lot more than I do now. Just had to toss that in. Gawd, I love sex. Sry.) But with how far I've come in my life, I don't believe I have anything stopping me. I'm here in the city of endless possibilities and I've got determination like no one else. When I go back to my mom's house for Thanksgiving I'm going to pack up my original copies of White Rice to bring back to LA.

And once I do, you better believe I'm going to seriously get started on some shit. I would love it if V, Lolita Hazed, and Alex could write things for me. That's what a community is about, sharing the wealth and helping others as you help yourself. This is gonna be big guys. This is a revolution. And it will not be televised.

Uhhhhh, actually it might be up on Youtube.

Deuces,
Erika

Open Letter To All The Skinny Girls On Campus

Dear Thin Mints,

First of all, you guys have amazing style. No lie. Props where props are do. Your ability to accessorize thrifted mocassins, skinny jeans, and secondhand cashmere sweaters with filmy scarves and doorknockers is nothing to be laughed at. But hmmm. I wonder something every time I see you guys. Does ice water run through your veins? Is there a reason you can rationalize wearing winter wear in the middle of summer? Do you know where you live? The Valley. It's like regular life, if your life was dipped in an active volcano. It's fucking hot. In fact, I get hotter looking at you, wrapped up in your long sleeved button down and knee high boots.

Maybe it is because of your low BMI that heat just breezes right through you. It's no secret that girls with some chub hate summer because it means shorts and tank tops and sweat dripping all over the fat bits...ugh. But what is your excuse? For the sake of this argument, I'm going to reiterate a key point. We live in the Valley. La Valleja, I guess. I dunno, I'm making espanol up off the top of my head. Not the point. But I don't think I've ever been in a store that even sells jackets here. You guys have to be outsourcing this ish. And that just takes time and money your parents don't want to spend.

So do me a favor. Put on a slip, call it a dress, and continue to stare evilly at me. We'll all be feeling better in no time!

Deuces,
Erika

Happy Birthday Jewels!

As everyone knows, Jewels is amazing. She's up on the dopest, flyest, most Missbehave shit out there. Plus she makes I Love NY totes that are a must have and she makes videos from her basement! This girl goes to all the bomb parties and still remembers enough of them to tell us (her excited and loyal readers) about them. Plus she's wise like nobody's business and incredible kind. So here's to Jewels' 26th birthday! May she have 26 more!

Oh wait, that makes her 52. So 26 more! And then like 40 after that! So 66 more birthdays! Yeah, we'll go with that.

So happy birthday girl! Pop bottles, buy up Brooklyn, or eat your weight at that cheese bar, whatever makes you happy, because you deserve it! And no birthday is complete without a wonderful and joyful seal photo! So here you go:

Cop the I Love NY totes here and peep the amazingness that is Jewels here and here.

Let's all be dope bitches till we die!

Deuces,
Erika

Money Over Bitches

Yeah, I didn't actually take this picture.

So last night saw yet another installment of what I'm now going to call E+V's Big Night Out (EVBNO for all you stock analysts). First we headed over to the Third St Promenade in Santa Monica, where we both picked up the newest issue of MissB, which is amazing if you haven't had the pleasure of getting your ProNail-ed hands on it.

While standing in line for the bathroom at Starbucks, we were then hit on/accosted by some guy with a heavy Spanish accent who complemented me about my shirt and then asked me where the Valley was. It was weird. Word. Then a strange twelve year old came up to me and high fived me.

After that, around midnight/ 1am, we headed over to the Sunset Strip where I was completely determined to have some delicious and cheap pizza. Sadly, determination isn't everything, because I never got it. However, we did find a radio station that played all 80s all weekend, so we got to jam out to 80s synth pop dance tunes the entire night.

It was just as we were getting tired-ish and forlorn (though still energetic from the Annie Lennox and Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam), I spotted The Body Shop.

That's right lads and lasses, V and I spent our night in Hollywood at the strip club. And it was awesome. After I got past the sad fact that I couldn't afford to eat after paying the 10.00 cover and the club didn't serve food, I actually enjoyed myself. V and I are sort of obsessed with this one stripper, who after some research, is apparently named Isis. She was/is amazing. First of all, she's got this Mexican vibe going on so she was wearing this cute-ish belly dancer style outfit and the most fucking ridiculous pair of six-inch stilettos that made her immediately earn my and V's respeto. She glided and danced and did a few acrobatic tricks that were super cool.

But for the most part that club is crapsicles on ice. The music skipped, one of the dancers took off her skirt and started "ahem" touching herself. Oh and then one of the girls started dancing to Pat fucking Benatar. Now I can never listen to "Hit Me With Your Best Shot," for more than obvi reasons. Outside the club we got propositioned with an offer to jump into some dude's party bus, but luckily for me I have the best excuse EVER: "Um, sorry, but I have to get home. I live in the Valley." Works like a charm every fucking time.

Um, and then I got a parking ticket, V and I went to In N Out Burger, my roommate was a rude bitch this morning, and the trains don't run on Saturdays. Salud!

Deuces,
Erika

Samantha Brown Is Awesome!

When Samantha Brown's Passport to Europe first came out, I was in love with it. But I was like, Sam Brown, meh. She was really nice but I didn't think she'd be too much fun to hang out with if I ever traveled with her.

Boy was I wrong! On her new show, Samantha Brown's Passport to Great Weekends, Sam Brown goes to different parts of the states for a weekend and does awesome shit! For the Vegas episode, she went to see the Pussycat Dolls, shopped, drank, made sleazy comments at restaurant waiters, bought Manolo's, and guest bartended at the Double Down! Bitch is getting cooler by the second! I want to hang out with her all the time! Some great Samantha Brown-isms after the nonexistent jump:

"So when's the last time you saw Anthony Bourdain spin his ass in a champagne glass?"

"TV doesn't pay shit anymore so I'm here!" (said when she was bartending at the Double Down)

Here's a clip of the badassery!


This woman is all that and a bag of Chips! Ahoy! Sam, girl, hit me up when you're in LA so we can hang! Pls!

Deuces,
Erika

Lifetime Honors Ma

In honor of Estelle Getty's timeless performance as Ma on Golden Girls, and her recent untimely passing, Lifetime is presenting a marathon of our favorite show, Golden Girls, beginning at noon today and ending at 5 pm. Don't sleep on it! Even though Ma is beyond awesome awesome, I love watching Rose...because I can relate to her so well!

Golden Girls marathon
12 pm - 5 pm
Lifetime

Thank you for being a friend!

Deuces,
Erika

Guest Blogger Punch Punch!

So I've maintained this blog pretty much Hans Solo since it's conception. I don't even know why I made it, actually. Fun trivia factoid: I used to run a blog on the (RIP) 99x AVRoom, and I got it just so I could enter this contest to be Dekker's intern! (Ed. Note: only people who have lived in ATL for at least three years will have found that amusing)

Anyway, this place needs some fresh meat. And by fresh meat, I mean fresh ideas. And by fresh ideas, I mean something other than the weird, random ish I write. So I figured, how better to do that than to get someone to guest blog over here!

It's nothing as cool as Missbehave's Next Top Blogger (which I won, btw), but it will get you some mild infamy, a few new readers, and a chance to spice up your life! Vaya! If you're guest blogging, it'll only prolly be for about a week, but you have to put up at least one new post a day, and you can put the link to your own blog at the bottom of each post if you wanna, which I encourage, 'cos it's free press and I LOVES me some free press. Keep in mind that the posts can't be as retarded or random as what I write, i.e. they should be semi-deep or just talk about your day..etc. I put enough strange bullshit on this thing as it is, girl. Oh, and you should also be really profesh about this, since I will be giving you my password and username to login to my blog. So you can't just be looking through my personal ish and/or giving my password away to random homies.

I am thinking this will go down Lesley Arfin style...hopefully? LA X Missbehave was/is pretty successful. I hope this is too. Anyone (by anyone, I mean whoever reads this blog avidly) who's like, maybe interested should take two secs out of their day and email me at emp62790@yahoo.com with GUEST BLOGGER in the subject line. Please! Thank you! I'm taking emails all of today, until 12:01 am, and then I'll just email the new blogger back after that!

Ohmahgawd, this'll be like, so much fun! Slumber party! Mani/pedis! Pillow fights! Light as a feather stiff as a board! Ouiji! Dishing about boys! Other girly things! Can't wait!

Deuces,
Erika

Punch punch!

4th Of July Fun In The...Rain?

So today is my 4th of July/2nd birthday bash in Piedmont Park. The awesomeness was lined up last night: BBQ, beer, frisbee, and fun. Except it might storm today. And tonight, while we're watching the fireworks from the rooftops. Grrrrrrrreat.

The guest list was pretty final (me, my bf, his old roommate, my gay bff) until about 3 pm yesterday, when my gay bff called and said a sudden trip to his grammy's for the 4th came up. Boo. Hiss. Lame. I called my bf and let him know and he said he would ask if anyone else wanted to come. I told him I didn't care if I knew them or not. The more, the merrier, right? Right?

He called me back later that night and said his friend Andrew and his girlfriend would come. I don't know either of them, although I did speak to Andrew once vicariously over the phone when he was at my bf's apartment. But then I thought about his gf.

I was super tempted to ask if his gf was pretty, or tall, or fat...but I was afraid of being chastised for sounding irrationally superficial. But girls know what I am talking about right? Like when you see another dude's gf you kind of want to look better than her. I mean, you are a representative of your bf, just like he reps you. Maybe it's just me, but I think chicks can dig that sentiment.

Anyway, so hopefully today goes super. And we don't get rained out. 'Cos, uh, my hair and water do not mix unless it is in a shower and Herbal Essences is involved.

Oh and shoutout to Jtalk who hooked all us Missbehavers up with a way to watch Secret Diary Of A Call Girl. I'm hooked! Thanks girl!

Happy 4th bitches!

Deuces,
Erika