"If I Were A Rapist, I Would Come Here"

So you guys are probably expecting a full rundown of the debauchery that was Hard Haunted Mansion.

Sadly, I wanted to carry as little with me as possible (for dancing purposes) and so all I had on me was money, keys, phone, and gum (which the bitch at the front confiscated from me! I was like, bitch, this ain't food, it's appetite suppressant!), but no camera. So I will be referencing events and occasions using Whoopi's pictures as they are awesomer than whatever I could have taken. Also of note is the fact that for about thirty or forty minutes, and then a few more fifteen minute stints, V and I were separated from one another. This is, of course, because of craze boys, packed dancefloors, people trains, and the need to get a drink of water. So compare stories, ogle at pictures, and pretend you were there. Don't worry, enough ecstasy and soon it'll happen.

Things started off um, glitchy. We basically drove past the freeway exit to get to the venue, then wound up in Carson City (which is crap-ay), and had to turn around. But then we did pick up McDonald's, and did a little In N Out v McDonald's. Which I won. In my mind.

We did finally get to the Expo Hall, an hour after doors opened, and then proceeded to stand in line for another hour and a half while we got pushed and shoved by people trains, aka, the most annoying invention ever. Basically, six or eight or twenty two people join hands and walk through a crowd. These goddamn trains are unbreakable, and like real ones, never seem to end. I got ambushed by a group of girls wearing cheetah dresses. And then Robin pushed me. And then we found Waldo!

So once we were inside, we tried to find Simian Mobile Disco, but stumbled onto some Special Guest DJ instead. This is where the first craze boy of the night comes in. He started talking to V, and eventually, I was moved father back into the crowd, sort of completely losing sight of them. But I was getting my Jesus groove on, so I didn't notice. Guest DJ dude basically killed it. In the middle of all the club music, near the end of the set, he switched it up and played "Simon Says (Get the Fuck Up)" by Pharoahe Monche (for all you old school hip-hoppers), which was bananas. For like two magical minutes, all the ravers got crunk. It was awesome. Oh, but then this dude pushed me and I was about to go "Hey, don't fucking push me" but then he threw up right next to me and I just had to leave the area.

Then it was DJ AM. He looked and sounded fantastic, even after all the awful shit that went down a few months ago. Dude has some kind of iron will. He killed it too, and I got asked to dance by a gay shirtless Native American wearing glowsticks and a headdress.

After DJ AM was Crystal Castles. But they blew. And I didn't really get to see them since I was stuck in the back of the crowd where the kids were either fucking or tripping balls. And there were these Asian girls in pink wigs and wedding dresses hopping around but I'd lump them into category two. But I did dance to "Crimewave." So you know, yeah.

So I met up with V after Crystal Castles. She'd successfully ditched craze boy No. 1 and we traveled over to the Justice stage.

Um, whoa. Justice smashed it. Por serio. The set started off sounding super sick and somehow V and I were separated once again. This is where craze boy No. 2 comes in. I swear I looked at him once, in glance form, and then he grabbed my hand and basically told me I was going to dance with him. For a split second I thought about it and then said "Okay." Then he basically proceeded to dirty dance with me, which was weird, but fun, and then he really got into it and I started looking around like "Hey, I'm being molested kinda" but, like I said, everyone was tripping balls and didn't care. This, kids, is why you should always bring a rape whistle with you. Pomona provides some excellent ones, I hear.

After awhile he said he had to go find his friend and once he left, I hightailed it to a different spot. Then Justice played "We Are Your Friends" as paper confetti rained down. It had to have been the longest DJ set ever though...it went for like two hours. Then some club kids started making out, a girl stepped on my foot with her hooker boot, and some more kids started doing more ecstasy. And then someone played "A-Punk," which we had a ton of fun dancing to. Both V and I agreed that we were too tired to see Them Jeans (although he's still on my MUST SEE list) and so we walked the seven-ish flights of stairs (felt more like a milli) up the parking deck to my car where we sat for a bit, then made fun of the pseudo hipsters.

Finally, we stumbled into my apt and collapsed in our respective sleeping areas while watching Spice World. Hopefully I can toss in a few more event pics when they're available, or at least link up to this fab set I've stumbled upon. While I'm shitting bricks scared to go back for another HARD Haunted Mansion, I think I will if the line-up's as good as this year. Which brings me to something else. I have found my Halloween costume for next year:

That's right: I'm going to be Madeline. Only her blue uniform-ed version. Because, um, a chance to wear a capelet and white finger gloves at my age doesn't come everyday.

See you guys next year!

God Is Coming To Earth And She Is Hip!

Ohmahgawd, ya'll. I've been searching high and low, for seriously racking my brain for a Halloween costume this year. At first it was Robert Smith from the Cure, then that evolved into an ex member of the Horrors, then Karen O, then Pocahontas, then an ice cream cone, and finally Kirby. Yeah, I wasn't quite sure how to do that one...I just knew a large pink bag was involved. Alright, so I really just wanted to draw red circles on my cheeks. I thought they were cute.

Anyway, so I had nearly given up on having an amaze costume in which to be photographed at the HARD Halloween bash going down next Friday. But then I saw a comment Lolita left on V's blog, giving her a costume idea I have inadvertently stolen and made my own.

Hipster Jesus.

Christ, why did I not think of this? I'm thinking a short linen UO dress with rope belt, sandals, and a crown of flowers and thorns. Maybe some ridic lensless glasses too...just to add to this look. I'm not sure. I'm now suuuper stoked about Halloween. So, um, thanks Sarah! I owe you one!

Or if you make it to LA one day, I owe you a free quesadilla from Machos Tacos, cupcake from Gelson's, and trip to Silverlake to go to Berda Paradise and buy some amazing cheap books.

Grazie, girl.

Deuces,
Erika

Money Over Bitches

Yeah, I didn't actually take this picture.

So last night saw yet another installment of what I'm now going to call E+V's Big Night Out (EVBNO for all you stock analysts). First we headed over to the Third St Promenade in Santa Monica, where we both picked up the newest issue of MissB, which is amazing if you haven't had the pleasure of getting your ProNail-ed hands on it.

While standing in line for the bathroom at Starbucks, we were then hit on/accosted by some guy with a heavy Spanish accent who complemented me about my shirt and then asked me where the Valley was. It was weird. Word. Then a strange twelve year old came up to me and high fived me.

After that, around midnight/ 1am, we headed over to the Sunset Strip where I was completely determined to have some delicious and cheap pizza. Sadly, determination isn't everything, because I never got it. However, we did find a radio station that played all 80s all weekend, so we got to jam out to 80s synth pop dance tunes the entire night.

It was just as we were getting tired-ish and forlorn (though still energetic from the Annie Lennox and Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam), I spotted The Body Shop.

That's right lads and lasses, V and I spent our night in Hollywood at the strip club. And it was awesome. After I got past the sad fact that I couldn't afford to eat after paying the 10.00 cover and the club didn't serve food, I actually enjoyed myself. V and I are sort of obsessed with this one stripper, who after some research, is apparently named Isis. She was/is amazing. First of all, she's got this Mexican vibe going on so she was wearing this cute-ish belly dancer style outfit and the most fucking ridiculous pair of six-inch stilettos that made her immediately earn my and V's respeto. She glided and danced and did a few acrobatic tricks that were super cool.

But for the most part that club is crapsicles on ice. The music skipped, one of the dancers took off her skirt and started "ahem" touching herself. Oh and then one of the girls started dancing to Pat fucking Benatar. Now I can never listen to "Hit Me With Your Best Shot," for more than obvi reasons. Outside the club we got propositioned with an offer to jump into some dude's party bus, but luckily for me I have the best excuse EVER: "Um, sorry, but I have to get home. I live in the Valley." Works like a charm every fucking time.

Um, and then I got a parking ticket, V and I went to In N Out Burger, my roommate was a rude bitch this morning, and the trains don't run on Saturdays. Salud!

Deuces,
Erika

Whoa Party Time!!

This is a little late, I know, but if you read this fast enough, and hurry to catch whatever respective train you ride, you can catch these!! You know Thursday is party day. But so is Saturday!! Here's a quick rundown on all the places to see and be seen tonizzight!!!

BOXERS AND BIKINIS!

Presented by the gorgeously talented Around the Way Girls and YUME Music. The flyer should pretty much tell you everything. The swimwear dress code isn't mandatory, but you're obvi encouraged to have fun with it, duh. Oh, and you didn't hear this from Radio Rose, but ID isn't required...can you keep a secret???

925 Bergen St, Loft 406
Doors at 10 pm

POST LOLLAPALOOZA JUMPOFF

Still feeling froggy after seeing all those shiny, pretty acts onstage at Lolla?! Well the party ain't over yet, son! Head over to the Hideout and catch the post-Lolla jumpoff awesomeness ish that is this party! DJ sets from Oh Snap!!, Cadence Weapon, and the Hood Internet (that will be hot shit right there!!!!). Go before midnight and save yourself three bucks. Plus, I mean, what are you really doing tonight ANYWAY?? Hmmm...?

1354 W Wabansia
Chicago, Ill 60622

HENSE SHIE OPENING RECEPTION

Come out and actually enjoy living in Atlanta! Yeah! Check the freshest summer jams with DJ sets by the oh so incomparable, oh so righteous fiends of funk Noot D'Noot and DJ Drop D of Miami. While you're chunky dunking to the music (see...ha, ATL peoples have our own language too!) peep the newest works by artists Hense and Shie. Raw.

7 pm - 3am
644 N. Highland Ave
Atlanta, GA

Alllll right bitchess!! I've covered all of our respective cities. Well, except OK. Sorry Sarah. :( Get out to any of these other dangerous cities and you'll be able to party with us girl!!

Everybody Wang Chung tonight!!!

Oh! And if anyone goes to any of the above listed sweetness events, you have to drop all the Peach Pit girls' names at least once! Ha! You don't really...it just seemed like fun...

Deuces,
Erika

Of Montreal Listening Party Tonight!

Erm, I don't even know if anyone besides me listens to Of Montreal, but I'm mostly just posting this for myself, because I would love to go if I lived in the East Village...or, um, New York City at all. Come out and join other drunken New Yawkers and listen to the pre-release of Of Montreal's new Skeletal Lamping LP before anyone else does! And then talk to the super guys from Polyvinyl! They seem nice.

And then after all that, turn your eyes to the horizon and watch Grizzly Bear on Letterman tonight!

Fun, fun, fun till daddy takes the T-Bird away!

Hi-Fi bar
10 pm - 12:30 am
21+

Okay bye, have fun, I wish I lived in New York!

Deuces,
Erika

ASIID!! Noooo!!!

Man, I luh America's Best Dance Crew. This new season is bonkers. Every group is/was killing it, except for that Sass X 7 thing. I'm pretty sure the producers purposely gave them that Britney Spears song just to make fun of them. Sadcute.

But tonight we saw the terrible demise of Detroit's ASIID! I almost teared up. Granted, they were up against the authentic b-boy all-star group Supa Crew, but I was still sad to see them go! Ever since they killed it on that Ciara joint, I've found no faults with them.

Thank god my hometown heroes Fanny Pak and Kaba Modern-esque So Real Cru are still alive and well!

I know you guys are watching this show. Even people without cable are getting on it! Favorite ABDC crew on three!

1...2...3!

Deuces,
Erika

Dip. Lo.

Current time: 2:56 am.
Show start time: 10:00 pm

This is the recount of the events that took place between those four hours.

First, we get to the Whirlyball. I am immediately bombarded by this surly dude barking, "Can I see your ID?" at me. Yeah, fine dude. I present said ID and then they proceed to mark me up by writing X's on both my hands and my wrist. Mentally, I'm thinking, just calm down. I won't drink. Chill, Rembrandt.

Noot D'Noot begins playing. It is doubleplus funky. Like, the kind of funky that has an A in it. It's FUNKAYYY. With three Y's. Yeeeeaahhh. So funky even the hipsters begin some noncommittal dancing.

SIDENOTE: I really wish I'd brought a Hipster Bingo card to the show because I would have definitely gotten Bingo by the end of the night. There was a white boy afro, PBR, an ironic mustache, hot Asian, Chuck Taylors, High Life, Parliament cigs, an 8-foot tall guy, and a 4-foot tall girl. Yeah, I would have won many times over. Okay, now back to your regularly scheduled blogging...

So after Noot we go into the back room and watch drunk people play Whirlyball. And then I run into Mathis, my old pal from the Selmanaires. We talk a bit, recount some memories, and laugh, laugh, laugh. Dark Meat goes on, but we don't go see them, we just stay in the back room talking to DJs and rockers and secondhand smoking.

Then it's...well, then it's Diplo. He comes out, tossing basketball shaped whistles and plastic covered CDs into the crowd. He starts the set with a variation on Bucky Done Gun. The whole audience begins to sway in dancing, oceanic, awesomeness. I sort of forgot a good bit of his set but I will run down the best songs of the night:

MIA "World Town"
Daft Punk "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" in some kind of Diplo edit
Outkast "Rosa Parks" and then "Bombs Over Baghdad"
Li'l Wayne "A Milli"
Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in some kind of Diplo remix fashion
Soulja Boy "Yahhh!" at which point everyone sings the "Yah, yah, bitch!" part and shakes their hands in people's faces for the "get out my face" part
Le Tigre "Deceptacon"
Mims "This Is Why I'm Hot"

And then people, Diplo plays "Paper Planes." Word! Everyone goes apeshit. It's amazing. Cue the gun shaped hands pointed to the sky. Diplo sprays the audience with silly string. He kills it.

I will have pics up when I get my camera back from my boyfriend on Tuesday. I currently smell like cigarette smoke and ganja. I'm tired as fuck. Sometimes people smell. Bad.

Deuces,
Erika

Best. Saturday. Ever?

Alrighty Aphrodite, I'm getting ready to leave for the sweet ass Diplo/Noot/Dark Meat set I waxed poetic about yesterday. I cannot wait. Swearz, if you see me, please say ohai! I'm hoping Oh Snap! or Midnight Socialite will be there. Actually, I'm praying.

In other news, Missbehave is breaking it down on the East coast at Union Pool. The New Yawkers sure know how to make beer affordable. Little Jackie is also kicking it at Fort Greene Park. You should go if you know what's up.

Hopefully pics of the former two events will follow tomorrow. I also decided I'm going to cover more of the NY/LA/ATL party and concert scene, for the good of all of our social calendars!

And don't sleep on the new Batman joint. Tickets should be bought in advance!

Punch punch bitches!

Deuces,
Erika

Diplo Tomorrow!! Punch Punch!!!

Normally I like to post show flyers and reminders the day of, for no real reason, just to let people who suffer with me in Atlanta to know there's something else they can do that night instead of putzing around in the Virginia-Highlands and getting drunk off PBR (though both have their merits). But this time, I gotta let the ATLiens know in advance what's going down tomorrow.

Diplo is coming! Dark Meat is supporting! NOOT D'FUCKINGNOOT is opening! That's right! Chunklet is back again, presenting us unworthy Atlantans with another show of spectacular proportions! If the idea of going bananas to the sounds of Diplo isn't enough to whoo you into coming, please let Noot D'Noot be it. The funkiest sounding band in Atlanta, Noot is fuhreaking amazing. I've seen them twice already and every time is a new, badass experience. Seriously. Srsly. Punch. Punch.

Come out to the Whirlyball tomorrow, get drunk on High Life, and then dance all night! Oh! And look out for me! I'll be wearing something bright and/or flashy. If you see a medium height black girl with a short bob and emerald eyeliner, or hear a sort of loud voice and/or weird laugh, you've found me! Say hai!

Tix can only be bought at Criminal Records and picked up in person. No orders, no exceptions.
$10 in advance/$12 DOS
Doors open at 9 pm
Show starts at 10 pm
18+

Punch punch! Holla!

Deuces,
Erika

Fuck Yesss Tonight!

It's on again party people! Tonight is the thirteenth installment of the Drunken Unicorn's Fuck Yesss Indie Dance party. The DJs on the bill tonight are Rrrump and Le Castle Vania. Dancing starts at midnight. And yes, the flyer hurts my eyeballs too.

21+ $7
18+ $5

Time to party!

Deuces,
Erika

Happy Birthday, Erika

Oh...shhhh...listen to that sound...it's me screaming in the distance. Why?

BECAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY BITCHESSSS!!!

If I said I was not waiting twelve months for this single moment in time to happen, I would be lying. I don't know what time it says this post went up, but in Atlanta, it's currently 12:18 am. My boyfriend and I are gonna take out the grill, the beer, da birfday cake, and the fun to the rooftop of these lofts in Downtown Atlanta for a combined 4th of July/Erika's birthday bash spectacular. Equation as follows:

Erika+birthday+fireworks+midnight madness=Sooo much fun!

If you live in the Atlanta area, are not SUPER creepy, are available all night on July 4th, like to hang out with black people and white people that wish they were black, and like free drinks, hit me up and come celebrate the madness with me!

Presents are mandatory. Those who are not in ATL can send them in the mail. I also accept direct faxes of your credit card info. Thx.

Bringing the bashes to the masses!

Deuces,
Erika

UPDATE: I found this rad video on Youtube. It's to a different Erika, obvi, but I'd like to pretend it was made for me.

Fuck Yeah Fest

If you haven't heard about this (and you uber lurve power pop!) then consider this the reminder of a lifetime! Tomorrow, the Fuck Yeah Fest (aka F-Yeah Fest for retarded censorship purposes) is rolling through Atlanta! Pop and comedy and drinks at the Whirlyball?! Who could ask for more!

Tix are available at Criminal Records or you order them online at Ticket Alternative's website. Good people working over there. The guy I used to intern for actually works there now. But you don't care about my career history.

You care about this fabuloso lineup!

Matt & Kim
TheDeathSet
Team Robespierre
Monotonix

Comedy by Josh Fadem

The show is all-ages so bring your little kids and then make them stand in the lobby while you dance your ass off! Fuck yeah!! DOORS AT 8 PM!!!

I've got my bright purple H&M leggings and rainbow colored top! Are you ready? Get ready!

Now I'm going to go back to watching this Doctor Who marathon on SciFi!

Deuces,
Erika

Anyone Else Feeling Dirty?

If you live in Atlanta (like moi), you MUST know about this. Fuck Yesss is the maddest, baddest, raddest dance party we can throw! Well, the shit that goes down at El Bar after midnight is a little to freaky to talk about.

But if you feel down to get down, you must head down to the Drunken Unicorn and peep this shit! The jamz start early but the party starts at midnight! I'm going! Will I see you there?

Let me see you move it, shake it 'cross the dancefloor!

Deuces,
Erika

New Season Of America's Best Dance Crew

I dunno about you, but this ish was my ish like ALLZ of last fall. I loved this show. The energy, the passion, the moves, the music, I could not complain. I also liked to pretend I was a judge and then had to tell myself (when I was getting really picky and evil) that I couldn't do what they did. Also, that I couldn't actually dance.

It took some getting used to.

Anyway, MTV got a mad response to this show because they're bringing it back after only a few months. It's like dancing. Gone crizazy. Will someone best the Jabbawockeez? Will they replace Lil Mama as a judge? Will there be more AWEsome girl groups? Will Shane Sparks ever go back to choreographing things on So You Think You Can Dance? Did Randy Jackson lose weight? Will Layla Kaleigh EVER go back to doing The Feed on G4TV?

These and more questions will be answered when the new season starts on June 19th. What's that? Sounds like a viewing party!

Deuces,
Erika

Dance Party '08!

Everyone likes a good remix. I know I DO. The best part about a really ace remix is that sometimes it's actually better than the original song. Not in all cases. But sometimes a remix can turn a boring song into an ALL NIGHT RAVE JAM. Yeah. It had to be typed in all caps. And because it's Saturday, I am happy. I had a cool ass dream last night, woke up and still had sight (which is surprising because I've been crawling into bed these days without taking out my contacts), and I'm making fried apples for breakfast. In honor of the latter, I present my Fried Apple Remix List:

(via MT)

Klaxons: "As Above, So Below (Justice remix)"

Feist: "1234 (Van She Technologic remix)"

Bloc Party: "Hunting For Witches (Crystal Castles remix)"...I fucking love Crystal Castles!
Bloc Party: "Hunting For Witches (Villians Electro-Banger remix)"

Hail Social: "Heaven (Designer Drugs remix)"

the Cribs: "Men's Needs (CSS remix)"

Rappin', Boozin', Dancin', Oh My!

Did anyone else hear about this? Everyone who lives in NYC, or at least resides NEAR BK should most definitely try to make this. I live in Atlanta (duh) so I could never get to this. A night with boss chicks, cheap booze, drunken two-stepping, AND you don't miss your favorite Monday night telly show?

Perfecto!

Hit up Missbehave's Myspace if you feel inquisitive, or their site if you're feeling frisky.

Deuces,
Erika

Let's Get Fucked Up!

Like, ohmagawd. Has anyone heard of Millionaires? They are an AWEsome trio of Hot Topic poster chicks outta LA. Don't let their faces fool you, beneath those innocent looking exteriors like a gaggle of undersexed hotties that "want you in my bed." And they will steal your man, with no remorse, I might add.

Awwwww yeah.

In all honesty, their music is awful, but I can't get it out of my head, and you certainly shouldn't be exempt from this mental pain. You can catch them ALLZ over LA and then some. They write and produce their own music. Points for originality. And for being able to spell "alcohol"



Anyone else feeling like going to an 80's party!

Deuces,
Erika

Heart Like Whoa

I don't know who the hell Lady GaGa is. I mean, obvi I would if I bothered to do a little Myspace and blog checking, but I won't. I can, however, tell you that this song is very catchy and annoying...simultaneously. It's like a combination of Whitney Houston circa "I Wanna Dance With Somebody," Annie, and Mariah Carey circa "Honey." Whatev. See/hear for yourself.

"Just Dance"



Deuces,
Erika