These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Ohai did anyone know that I knew how to play the piano? Yeah, I had my last recital when I was sixteen. I just thought about it because once I sat down and tried to play that song, "My Favorite Things" from...Mary Poppins, right? But it was pretty difficult so I gave up a page in.

So anyway, forlorn, confused, and still wide awake at half till one, I'm looking at adorbz clothes I would love to buy from Forever 21. I stumbled onto a ginormous one today, uh, and then got lost in Calabasas. My mom said, "go find the Kardashians and ask them how to get home." Real cute.

Let's get to the clothes!


So basically I love this dress. I think with my short haircut and flair for patterned headbands, solid colored flats, and inclination for knee high socks, I could really reproduce one hell of a Tracyanne Campbell look.


This is like the dress that would be sold in a cooler sillhouette at Urban Outfitters for twice the price, but, you being poor like me, would settle on this version from Forever 21. I like it anyway, and would be qualm-less about rocking with a white button down and black ankle boots. Yeah, that's right. I should be a stylist. Hire me.


I am sort of at a loss for words for this particular dress. I think it could be really cute with a retro outfit theme in mind, but I can also see it going slutty chic far too fast. This one is a toss up.

Now go be consumers!

Deuces,
Erika

I Obviously Have A Lot To Learn

Basically I had someone tell me to stop wallowing in my self pity, to go do something with my life, to enjoy the journey, to have fun, to get back up and keep moving forward, to get over myself, to make friends, to stop saying I can't, and to stop trying to have and do everything all at once.

And these were all things I needed to hear. Although I'm not sure if that softens the blow or helps the fact that it hurts so much to be told those things so frankly. It also leaves me somewhat lost and confused towards what the future holds but it also tells me I should stop trying to predict things so much. Maybe I will stop completely. Everyday a new surprise!

Oh well. Cory and Topanga never died.

And you know what's sad? I started crying in Barnes And Noble today. Just my luck they would be playing the new Dr. Dog album (and skipping to the saddest song!) right when I walked in.

*btw, the Chester French giveaway ends this Tuesday (11/2)!*

Deuces,
Erika

Why Are We The Unhappy Ones?

Life continues to surprise me. Seriously. Just when I think people are going to do one thing, once I've really prepared myself for the worst possible scenario, once I've steeled my stomach, locked my knees, blocked out any ways of feeling pain...nothing happens.

I've been going through a few relationship difficulties (mostly, if not fully on my part and my inability to fully express everything that I am thinking without either exaggerating or withholding some of the truth) and at this point, I would have left me. But like I said, people surprise me with their love, compassion, patience, acceptance, and strength. Good surprises.

And in Missbehave news, Emilia wanted to name a mouse after me. So there.

Deuces,
Erika

This Time Just The Girls

Basically if I could form a perfect girl band it would be like the Coathangers. I would be Stephanie (the one with the bangs over her eyes). Only it would also involve sparkly ribbon headbands, 80s synth keyboards, glitter eyeshadow, and be called The Savage Ivories.

Sigh...it's finally Fall. Well, not here, in the volcano-temperature Valley where it still gets to the mid 90s during the week, but in general. And even though colder weather is my favorite, it usually sends me into some kind of temperature induced sadness, like when some people get depressed due to the fact that it's dark so much or whatever. So to combat the aforementioned sadness, I delve heavily into my music stash, putting together playlists and mix CDs that create a winter wonderland full of swirling ambiance and delicious memories. Normally, I would a throw playlist your way, but this is no ordinary winter. This is one of empowerment and feminism, so with that, I've compiled the Fall Fem Fierceness playlist: the best fall and winter tracks from the badassiest females in music. Which would you guys add? Feel oh so free to let me know.

Sara Lov: "New York"

Jenny Lewis: "Rise Up With Fists"

The Watson Twins: "How Am I To Be?"

Asobi Seksu: "Walk On The Moon"

Cat Power: "Lived In Bars"

The Breeders: "Doe"

Be Your Own Pet: "October, First Account"

Northern State: "Three Amigas"

Regina Spektor: "Better"

Magneta Lane: "Constant Lover"

Pony Up!: "Shut Up And Kiss Me"

Charlotte Gainsbourg: "The Songs That We Sing"

The Long Blondes: "You Could Have Both"

And there you have it. Plus a few personal all time favorite riot grrrl songs:

The Grown Ups: "Nick and Nick" (Ummm, a song written back in like '94 about how the dude this girl fell in love with fell in love with a boy, using the lyrics "suck it in the dick" and "which one is the chick" is like pure gold.)

The Cougars: "Brain Cactus" (Surriously. If you don't feel badass when you listen to this song, you never will. And I hurt for you.)

The Chubbies: "Didjahavtasaythat?" (We all know this feeling.)

Let The Right One In

Um, so seriously, this was the best movie I've seen all year. And I've seen a lot of good ones. Let The Right One In is a Swedish film about these two twelve year olds, Oskar and Eli. Oskar is super cute, super pale, and bullied by these chicken shit little boys at his school. And Eli is a vampire. Simple enough. Soon, Oskar's little town is ambushed by Eli's vampiring, and though they fall in love with each other, Oskar and Eli are forced to come to grips with Eli's midnight madness. Oskar loves her no matter what though, and the ending is beautiful, so I won't give it away. Plus there's gore, lil kid love, sewn up vaginas, some bleeding from the eyes, and a woman who gets attacked by CG cats and then catches on fire. The usual Swedish fare.

But really, this movie isn't about vampires, it's about love and everything you'll do for it. It's awesome, adorable, touching, and the countryside of Sweden is beyond beautiful. So find yourself an independent cinema house and see the movie already! Sure there are subtitles, but a little reading never did you any harm.



Deuces,
Erika

Fame Is Wasted On The Infamous

I was just thinking to myself, while slowly twiddling my thumbs and idly my time away waiting for my boyfriend to send me my old White Rice drafts, that we are all so talented. And not in that, "Oh, everyone is special in their own way" kind of meaning, but that we are all actually, legitimately talented.

Alex has a byline in a national cheer mag, V should pretty much be writing music related columns in a hip music magazine based in the ungentrified part of Brooklyn, Sarah (of the Lolita relation) has a way with words like no other, and let's face it: I'm awesome.

Just kidding you guys.

But really, we are the youngest members of the Peach Pit (which I still think is cute), and we have so much talent that it's basically oozing out of us. Ewww...gross...But it's never going to go anywhere because we have no ways of getting it out there. Which is why I want to get back in White Rice so badly, because here we are, in the best time to be alive (really though, even with the economy, we're basically living in a time where culture is teetering on the precipice of becoming a serious free-for-all, an explosion of personal creativity and expression) and I want to take advantage of everything. Every time I pass an empty storeroom with a For Lease sign on it, I want to buy it up and make it White Rice HQ. I daydream about sending famous-ish people emails asking them to write short columns. I have a dream but no connections, a will without a way.

If I don't have to buy alcohol or rent a car, why shouldn't I be able to accomplish everything now? Where is this supposed "min age" that is written into people's minds? Maybe it is my "world is my oyster" naivete that is pushing me to believe that I can do it all, and do it all now. In any case, I think fame is wasted on those who choose to do nothing with it. There are so many people out there who just need that chance, to really change the world. Geniuses, masters, brilliant people, who can revolutionize everything, have dreams that are dying everyday because they are not going anywhere.

But the future is coming sooner than we think.

Deuces,
Erika

Everything I Need To Know About LA I Learned From Sarah Morrison

Some new things I have learned while being poor, lonely, and mildly adorable in LA:

Cigarettes can be used in exchange for giving bums money. This works out if you are like me and are not really a big smoker but somehow always have a cigarette and no money on you.

Paper clips = bobby pins. I ran out of things to hold my hair up with this morning (bobby pins, clips, pencils) so I bent a paper clip. Voila! Insta-bobby pin.

Don't wear long jackets. Someone asked me how much I was charging when I did.

Corn is just as good a meal as it is a side dish. Sometimes I eat it right out of the can. Sprinkle on some salt and pep and you have dinner for .65!

Dig up your VCR. Movies on tape are like .99 nowadays.

Valley girls really do exist. Enough said.

Have nice hair. It's the only thing you'll ever get complimented on.

The end.

Oh, and be a good blogger. Not like me, who wastes posts with silly comics and useless observations. Just a little longer until my bf ships me my old White Rice drafts, and then things will get really neat! Promise!

And make sure to keep it sexy.

Deuces,
Erika

Sometimes Life Is Shitty And Things Are Funny And You Leave It At That

A veteran Scrabble player will spot the OSTRICH option.

Deuces,
Erika

God Is Coming To Earth And She Is Hip!

Ohmahgawd, ya'll. I've been searching high and low, for seriously racking my brain for a Halloween costume this year. At first it was Robert Smith from the Cure, then that evolved into an ex member of the Horrors, then Karen O, then Pocahontas, then an ice cream cone, and finally Kirby. Yeah, I wasn't quite sure how to do that one...I just knew a large pink bag was involved. Alright, so I really just wanted to draw red circles on my cheeks. I thought they were cute.

Anyway, so I had nearly given up on having an amaze costume in which to be photographed at the HARD Halloween bash going down next Friday. But then I saw a comment Lolita left on V's blog, giving her a costume idea I have inadvertently stolen and made my own.

Hipster Jesus.

Christ, why did I not think of this? I'm thinking a short linen UO dress with rope belt, sandals, and a crown of flowers and thorns. Maybe some ridic lensless glasses too...just to add to this look. I'm not sure. I'm now suuuper stoked about Halloween. So, um, thanks Sarah! I owe you one!

Or if you make it to LA one day, I owe you a free quesadilla from Machos Tacos, cupcake from Gelson's, and trip to Silverlake to go to Berda Paradise and buy some amazing cheap books.

Grazie, girl.

Deuces,
Erika

Old New Music One Stop Shops

People (ie my bf and occasionally a friend) are always (sometimes) asking me, "Erika, where do you find all this great music?" Because, let's not lie here you guys, I have impeccable taste in music. And you all do too. It's what separates us from the girls who buy the HSM soundtrack.

Anyway, so I tell people I get it from the internet. I mean, I buy albums too, but they're getting more and more expensive these days, and until I can afford one of those fancy record players that converts records into mp3 files, it's easier to just get things in a format I can already use.

So then they ask me, "Where on the internet?" I am not surprised if bit torrent is failing them in terms of musical selection. Mostly because it sucks. But I have friends who would sell their souls for bit torrent, so I don't say anything to them. I do however tell them about some amazing music sites where the music is not only free, legal, and good, but free, legal, and good. Like how I did that? So did I. And now I think the time is right to share them with you. But if you guys have any awesome sites of your own, feel free to let me know, because I could always use new music. I mean, who couldn't? Except for the Music Nazi, but he's no fun.

1. Music.Download.com: This website was my Ground Zero. Not in the 9/11 way. So, okay, forget that. It was my Square One. I found this site while browsing through Google to find some mp3s of Dead Blonde Girlfriend. And it's, um, amazing. The site is organized by musical genre, country, and even city. So if your friend tells you about this band but all you remember is that they're from Philly, you can still find them. Once I started looking through it, I couldn't stop. I spent hours a day after school on this website, discovering music I never knew existed...bands like The Goldstars, Faux Jean, WinterKids, Rye Coalition, The Natural History, The Trivs, Oxford Collapse, Social Studies, and many more! My music library grew like 200 fold daily. And, as it happens, the regular Download.com has a ton of computer programs you can download for free! It's where I got the audio editing software I used in my internship as well as the program I used when, ahem, I made my own DJ mixes. Ahem.

2. Daytrotter.com: If you are not aware of Daytrotter's existence, you must not like indie music. And that's okay. But almost every indie band has done a session for these guys. Basically, you go to the site, pick a band, and then you get to read a very, VERY well written interview about the band, and then at the end, you get to download tracks from the band's albums, which they re-recorded just for Daytrotter! And fo' free! Gratis!

3. Spinner.com: Spinner is like Blender, or Spin, but with more focus on indie music and less douchebaggery. They update their site with a new free mp3 daily, and on top of that they have a ton of cool things to look at. Just go, now. It's neat. Dope.

4. Label websites: Come on kiddies, label sites are probably the most untapped well of music-y goodness around! And it's super easy too. Here, I'll walk you through it: Pick an indie label. Don't go with anything big because Def Jam, Island, or Sony BMG, whathaveyou, aren't gonna be giving away mp3s for free. But smaller ones, like Matador and Team Love have a ton of music ripe for the picking! Suicide Squeeze used to have a ton of free mp3s too, but I don't know what happened, because they don't anymore. Still, dig around and see what you find. The thrill is in the hunt, right?

Um, now go find yourself some music. Vamanos, vamanos! And then maybe one day we'll meet up and compare collections. Just like Pokemon battling, but with audio files. And yes, I should be working for a music magazine. Soon enough...soon enough.

Deuces,
Erika

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Um, I kind of forgot that this was the best movie ever. I almost wish pageants were like this. But, then again, maybe in the Midwest, they are. I also happen to love movies shot like documentaries, like Best in Show or For Your Consideration. They seem funnier than normal movies. Oh and plus I totally learned my Minnesota accent from this movie. Sometimes, when I get really excited, I start going, "Oh crayup, oh crayup!" And did I mention that I know own this movie? Yeah, I found it at Amoeba for like 1.99. Um, so you guys can come over and watch it anytime. We can follow it up with my newly acquired Spice World.

Deuces,
Erika

His And Her Blogs

Okay, so today I was innocently watching TV when I got a text from my bf, Sam, saying he revived his old blog. Now, you all remember how I said I never told any of my family or supremely close loved ones (boyfriend, best friends in the A) about my blog. In fact, when my bf told me he used to have one I went, "What? You had a blog?" all incredulously and whatever-ly, but with that chuckle and nervousness in my voice (you know, the kind you get when you're trying to cover something up).

So anyway, I got the text saying that his old blog was up and that he knew I probably didn't care about that sort of thing, but to check it out anyway. And being the closet blogger I am, I did. Cheese and rice, I knew he was super existential and introspective, y'know, from talking to him, but he gets super deep and intense and sometimes I have to break out a dictionary.

But yeah, the boyfriend's all over Wordpress like melted ice cream on the sidewalk. And I loves me some free press, so check him out. If you get lost, you're not alone. And let's just hope I manage to get mad famous and still keep this bastard lovechild a secret.

Deuces,
Erika

FTP!

So a few days ago, Wendy, my coworker and resident Mexicano amiga, taught me this super cool phrase: FTP.

I was like, "What does that mean?"

She was like, "Fuck that puta." Which basically means fuck that bitch in English. Her super gangsta fifth grade cousin taught it to her. So...we're afraid our children will be learning about same sex marriage in school, but not super expletive-y words? Huh.

But! I've found that you can use this phrase just about anywhere, for anything. Like when a piece of paper fell on the ground and Wendy didn't pick it up, I said, "Don't FTP that paper!" Or when someone does something stupid, you can say, "FTP that fool." It's like LOL or LMAO or even ROTFL, if you want to go that far. Basically, it's all I've been saying. Now you too should use it because you'll be in like Flynn with your Latino hermanas and hermanos.

FTP homies, FTP.

Deuces,
Erika

Erika Explains It All

I'm starting a journal you guys. It's gonna be e-mazing! Get that joke? Awwwesooommme! I've decided to write an entry every day until I'm 21 and then I'm going to look back on it and sigh and be embarrassed and think less of my younger self, probably.

That's it. Yep. Sorry, this hasn't been one of my best posts but um, yep. I don't really have an explanation. Blogger FAIL.

Deuces,
Erika

What You've All Been Waiting For...

So I think the craze wildfires have finally died down. But rewind two days ago, and shit was up in arms. People were being evacuated over in Porter Ranch, which is only like 20 minutes from my apt, classes were canceled for the whole day, and apparently, you could see the fire from the building windows. But I didn't look, because I don't find natural disasters entertaining, obvi.

Tuesday, school was back in sesh, but in Sun Valley (where I volunteer at the elementary school), the lil ones had indoor recess and the air smelled like one big barbecue. Oh, and did I mention how the winds got up to 70 mph? Try riding your bike to that. It's um, hard.

But you don't care about my bicicular woes! You care about these uber serious, journalist style photos I took on Monday:


Okay, I confess. I took the above picture because the smoke cloud was shaped like a penis. Do you see it? I'm the only one apparently. When I tell people about it they simply reply, "You need to get laid." Ah.

The whole thing was pretty epic and kind of scary, espesh since I had to hear about this wildfire from a kid on a skateboard. I watched the news at work and the pictures on KTLA were intense as fuck. Some people were literally right next to the fire. I think the final stats are 2 people dead. Which could be worse, but is still very sad. Damn Santa Ana winds. All the lil refugee pets are at various shelters, which is good to hear because apparently people like to leave pets behind when they evacuate places. But um, all's well that ends well?

Deuces,
Erika

Best Day Ever!

So today is easily one of the best days I've ever had. Oh, well, it's only started so it could go to hell in a handbasket quicker than the spread of a forest fire, but as of now, today rocks!

First I actually got a sufficient night's sleep (which neeeeever happens) and then when I went to check mail, I got some amazingness! First, my Karmaloop stuff came! (I swear those guys can ship it out in like 3 days or less, I always get mine almost immediately)

I got this awesome Obey shirt (I'm like supremely loving that brand and the fact that all its SALE stuff is still dope):


And then I got this crazy dope hoodie from my new favorite brand in existence, Tank Theory. I'm usually all about MOB or P.O.P. but Tank Theory is kinda the shiznat. Peep the freshness:
I totally cannot wait until it's cool enough to wear it. Gotta prepare early kiddos!

And then I also found a package from everyone's favorite Staten Islander, Jewels! You guys have to believe me when I say she is one of the nicest people...um, ever! She sent me buttons, a Bubblegum Pony's sticker, the dopest business card I've ever seen, and a Fafi card!

Easily the best day/morning ever!

Deuces,
Erika

Top Of The World

For some reason I've always been a Dixie Chicks fan. I can't really explain why because I'm not into country music but I can stand to listen to them. When this song came out a long time ago I was sort of obsessed with it and now I have it on repeat all the time. That, and this song.



I'm so wee-yerd.

Now go to Missbehave and read something funny!

Silent Hill

So I'm watching Silent Hill on DVD right now and it's totally dope. I saw it a long time ago, like maybe last year, and I forgot how cool it was. But watching it the second time, I noticed how unrealistic the CG animation is. But that aside, the makeup and set effects are awesome. Plus I always liked the story line, the whole thing about blind religion and cults and corruption in the church...I always thought it was really cool, for a movie and a video game. Anyway, the ending was total bullshit but I'd still put Silent Hill on the Coolest Movies of 2006 list, if there ever was one.

"Hey Erika, You Wanna Go Have Sex In The Bathroom With Me?"

Ugh, I'm sick. Gross. I think I might have a cold, but it won't make a difference since they won't give me time off at work. But that's just retarded, because I will get everyone sick in the process of their making money. Coworkers...customers...maybe I'll get my managers sick so they see how serious this is. Goals are good.

At Amoeba last Friday I found some old Joan Rivers standup in the clearance vinyl bin. I also got the prerequisite Barbra records. When I was at the counter, the clerk saw the Joan Rivers record and said, "I forgot she did standup!" And I said, "Yeah, it was a long time ago. You can tell because her face looks relatively normal." Earlier that Friday Shmarah was showing me how the website works. Then she said something about how Shmam is 34 and I'm 18. And I thought to myself, "Oh my god, there's a whole Olivia between us!"

Last night my boyfriend was talking about moving in with my mom, which is super weird. But my mom has practically adopted him anyway, so it might not be weird after all. I told him, "tell me if you move into my room so I can make sure to put up yellow CAUTION tape around everything." At work my retarded boss was telling me how America is functioning because of the hardworking people in it. He showed me how to put a crease tag on pants and then said that dedication is making America great. I went to my coworker and asked if she was creasing pants. She said "no." I told her, "You're ruining America!"

On Friday in my stupid people math class, we're discussing this kid who sometimes talks to us named Roger. Last time we all spoke Roger informed us that he only liked hooking up with girls but hated relationships, which I thought was odd because he'd never been in one. So on Friday he wasn't there. My friend Eddy was like, "I can't imagine him getting girls just for sex. I think he would be one of those people who's mad if you don't have sex with them." Then he turned to me. "Erika, how would you feel if he just said, 'Hey Erika, you wanna go have sex in the bathroom with me, really quickly?'" I said, "I think I would be a little scared." He said, "A little?!""

To get out of my depressed state of being, I've been listening to Fleetwood Mac, which sounds counterproductive, but is actually nice. My ringtone is "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys. I was sitting in my room when my phone went off in the middle of "Landslide." I picked it up and informed my bf that it had scared me because I was just listening to music when it rang. He asked me what I was going listening to Fleetwood Mac. I said, "Mourning." Recently, the school's wi-fi was out. My roommate Melissa and I were in our room with nothing to do. She said she needed to iron her dress. Because I had nothing better to do, I offered to iron it. I said, "This is what I have for entertainment now when there's no internet. What am I supposed to do next, churn butter?!"

I hope next weekend is less sucky than this one.

Deuces,
Erika

Nylon X Missbehave?!

Okay I know that everyone kind of thinks Nylon is sucking right now and it was better five years ago. Whatev. After seeing a copy of Nylon from three years back, it doesn't look like anything's changed. But okay, maybe it's me.

Anyway, I was looking through Nylon's Street Style (I like it because the ouftits are super original and personal but I also don't like it because most of the outfits looked like they were churned out of the Nylon Trend Factory or whatever) when I saw this:


Does anyone else notice that she's wearing a Missbehave x Nails Did tee? Missb was, of course, one of the first to be up on the brilliance that is Nails Did, but I did notice a small feature about Nails Did in Nylon's last issue...so maybe they're catching on. But I'm pretty sure Nylon girls don't dig streetwear...or maybe they do. Maybe it's the new generation, the Nylon Gen X?

But can you just imagine all the Nylon girls seeing this picture and being fully confused about why the face on the tee isn't like Marilyn Monroe, Twiggy, or Karl?

God I'm bored...

Deuces,
Erika

They Can Really Get Some Distance

Ohmahgawwwwd you guys. I've wanted to take a picture of this for soooo long. Either I don't have time because the light's green or the bum who has the 10pm to dawn shift is standing in front of it. But tonight I succeeded! Check this ish: the Dim Mak logo, on a one way sign right off the 405 freeway in North Hills, in the Valley. Just think, somewhere in his LA helipad/apt, Steve Aoki is smiling to himself. Oh well probably others too.


Deuces,
Erika

Lower Learning

That's right, Erika's going back to the movies. This time it's after work so I'm like praying this one doesn't suck because then my day will be a complete fail. But I don't think it will, because it looks fucking hilarious!

So Lower Learning is about this fucked up elementary school with this crazy ass principal who doesn't care about the kids' education or feelings. Then some Board of Ed lady comes in and wants to fix it but it's like school v principal. That's a terrible explanation, I know. But Will Sasso, Jason Biggs, Eva Longoria, and Rob Cordry are in it. It turns out Sasso and Cordry were at the theatre for this meet and greet thing last night so all the shows were sold out, obvi. Anyway, watch the trailer, peep the goodness, and then feel really bad that we don't hang out and thus cannot come with me to see this. Okay, great!



Deuces,
Erika

Uninsured Drivers Are My Favorite Kind!

For some reason, this is the picture that pops up when you google fender benders. Enjoy!

A few days ago, I was on the way to the Student Health Center. I was driving...la, la, la...and then something caught my eye. I swear I looked away for ONE second and when I turned my head the weirdo in front of me thought it would be fun to brake right in the middle of street. My brakes are kind of crappy, so when I slammed them on, I still skidded right into the back of my spontaneous friend.

I had an "Oshit!" look on my face for almost a minute because I was expecting some mad angry kid to come storming over to me, pointing fingers and screaming and whatnot, but no one came. I actually had to go up to the car and basically say, "I hit you, do you want my information?" The kid in the car said, "Uhhh..lemme take a look at it." Granted there was no damage, but I bet I could have taken his bumper off and he would have done the same thing.

He was like, "There's no need to do anything."

I was so excited I gave him a hug. He was sort of nerdy so I assume he doesn't get many hugs from girls. Or maybe he does, maybe he's a nerdy man whore. Who knows?

At the grocery store, I told this story to my mom and she was like, "He probably didn't have insurance."

And then I said, "I want to hit people without insurance more often!"

Deuces,
Erika

This Just In:

I am blogging for Missbehave now. I am on the website. Did you see the sidebar? With me in it? Good, good. Everything should be in full effect by next week. I am very tired and very sad right now. I have to go to class tomorrow and should get some sleep. Will report back after work. That is all. Love ya, mean it.

Deuces,
Erika

It's Halloween. Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?

OMG people, Halloween is coming up in only three weeks! That's kind of awesome. The only thing remotely shitty about Halloween is coming up with an uber original costume that will practically make people implode with rage and envy upon seeing it. At least that's what I'm going for every year. Last Halloween I went as Twiggy, the model, but that didn't really matter since my friends were sooooo lame and decided it would be more fun to get pizza and drive around a little bit instead of going to the wayyyyy awesome party my college friends were throwing. But it's whatevs. The year before I went as a sailor girl. I made my own costume and it was so shitty that it actually was funny. I don't even know where that heap of cloth is now...anyway, even though I still need to come up with a badass costume, I know I'm going to be having tons of fun on Halloween. Why, you ask? Because I'm going to this:

That's right bitches. October 31st the HARD Haunted Mansion is coming to town. I was so jelz when the last HARD Festival rolled around because it had so many awesome people playing, but that was nothing compared to this lineup:

Justice
Crystal Castles
Crookers
Simian Mobile Disco
DJ AM
Um, and more!

Obvi it's going to be the most orgasmic electro party on the coast. Will you be there? I will be there. Maybe I'll see you. Probs not.

HARD Haunted Mansion
Friday, October 31, 2008
Shrine Expo Hall
8 pm - 4 am
Doors open at 8 pm
$55

Deuces,
Erika

You Must Be Fucking Kidding Me

Oh my gawd. Okay dudes, so I came home tonight at midnight, tired from being on my feet for six hours straight and failing to seduce a stray cat (more on that later, no bestiality involved), changed into my PJ's (a pair of 70s style shorts with rainbows and Snoopy's printed on them and one of my bf's t-shirts), screwed the top off the bottle of Arizona Green Tea with Honey and sat down to watch some TV. Ugh, no double ugh.

This Real Housewives of Atlanta show is beyond BAD. It needs a new word to describe how shitty it is. Maybe the antidope. Yeah, it's the antidope. Not only are these women materialistic, shallow and annoying creatures, they DON'T live in Atlanta. Wanna know how I know? It's nearly impossible to buy a house that unnecessarily large in the city of ATL. Plus homegirl said it herself: "I live north of the city." They're living in Duluth and Sugarloaf. I should know, I spent a good chunk of childhood in that nightmarish rose colored suburbian bubble. Both are at least 30 minutes away from the city (without traffic). Plus these people seem like they don't actually understand the city. They constantly compare the party scene to that of NY or LA (oh whoa not true) and one of the even enlightens us about how the city is integrated, how blacks and whites intermingle. Christ, lady, it's the city of Atlanta, not Jasper or Ringgold. Chill down, Martina Luther King. Not to mention aside from the transition shots, you never actually see any scenes filmed in the city. Um and believe me you would know. The city is ugly and dirty, with poor infrastructure and not that much to look at. Plus you would see some bums, some daytime hour hoes, and a ton of people with messenger bags.

Basically this show is an epic fail. A fail more epic than any other. A severe wind tunnel of intelligence and emotion. A black hole of culture. Did I say fail?

I mean, I hate that awful city just as much as the next person who lives there, but it's my city, y'know? And I stand by its poor infrastucture and improper use of city tax money, because that's what citizens (and ohai ex-pats) do. So boo, Bravo and fake housewives, boo to you. Let's start putting the ATL back in Atlanta and creating bumper stickers that make sense!

Deuces,
Erika

Mag Hag, Pt 2

I've talked about magazines before, duh. But damn, I really love them. So I'll talk about them again. Each magazine has always served a different purpose for me. When I was a virgin, I would scour the pages of Cosmo to find out enticing sex tips that were sure to make my first time amazing. (Alternatively, I lost my virginity to M83 in my boyfriend's dad's bed while on my period. Cosmo did nothing for me. It mostly just went out my head. Such a sordid past I have.) I flipped through Seventeen with a pink gel pen and circled everything that was $20 or under, and used it as a shopping list. I read up on the history of seminal 90s bands in Alternative Press and then pretended to be really well versed in music. From Entertainment Weekly I learned to be a sarcastic well spoken bitch that could make people laugh as well as report a story without bias. CosmoGirl taught me that virgins are sluttier than people think and from Missbehave...well...I basically got saved.

But since the invention of online indie magazines and the onslaught of startup productions it's started, raw creativity and vision has suddenly got the most amazing outlet, one that allows full interaction with the reader and full control of the writers. We're living in an age where there are no limits, no boundaries, no ceilings on potential, growth, and substance. No longer do you have to create a vapid, mindless mag catering to a pointless and empty headed demographic. No longer do celebrities, scandals, sex, or affairs have to be the paradigm of story fodder. We're in the most amazing age where we can literally transfer our thoughts, unyielding, uncompromising, and unstoppable, from person to person in their purest form.

That is the vision I have for White Rice. I've talked about WR before, obvi, but with a futuristic tone. At first I did see it as a venture meant for a later time in my life, where I would be graduated and settled. (And hopefully getting laid a lot more than I do now. Just had to toss that in. Gawd, I love sex. Sry.) But with how far I've come in my life, I don't believe I have anything stopping me. I'm here in the city of endless possibilities and I've got determination like no one else. When I go back to my mom's house for Thanksgiving I'm going to pack up my original copies of White Rice to bring back to LA.

And once I do, you better believe I'm going to seriously get started on some shit. I would love it if V, Lolita Hazed, and Alex could write things for me. That's what a community is about, sharing the wealth and helping others as you help yourself. This is gonna be big guys. This is a revolution. And it will not be televised.

Uhhhhh, actually it might be up on Youtube.

Deuces,
Erika

Take On Me...Literally

Um this is brilliant. Dustin McLean is a music and filmmaker who does animation for Current TV. I want to know him, because he is obvi a genius. This is what it would be like if the song accurately matched the video. He's singing it, by the way. Note how he too can hit the high notes. I can't wait until he takes on a more ridiculous video...maybe "Modern Drummer?"



Everyone always beats me to the good ideas.

Deuces,
Erika

Man & Wife

So after a very long day of work yesterday, I crawled up three flights of stairs and into my apt, where I threw on a hoodie, some socks, and sat down to watch some TV. I'd missed the first airing of Mad Men, but didn't see it on again at 11pm, so I watched MTV instead. That retarded Paris Needs A Friend show had gone off and now something new was coming on. Apparently, Fatman Scoop and wife Shanda have been running a podcast of sorts, talking about sex, relationships, and love. I guess MTV decided to take them to the big time. Thus Man & Wife was born.

Actually I was sorta hesitant to watch it at first, because it looked kind of shitty, but once I gave it a chance, I liked it! Basically Scoop and Shanda are sitting in this huge bed on stage talking to an audience. Members of the audience can come up and ask queshes on the mic and they answer them. Sometimes people submit queries through video or voicemail submissions. It's completely impromptu and interactive, plus it talks about sex, and all those make for good TV! Scoop answers all questions from a male point of view (hit it and quit it) and Shanda makes up for it with her insightful emotion based answers. I kinda love this show. Last night they talked about the need for communication in a relationship, buying a dildo, and how to get out of having a threesome. It's genius, rly.

Peep the emotional connections on MTV, Monday through Thursday at 11pm.

Deuces,
Erika

Another Weekend Without Makeup

Working in West Hollywood is the bestest. The city abreev is WeHo! The weather's gorgeous, the city's really pretty, and everyone's gay, which is awesome. Even the bums are nice! I offered one half my doughnut and he said "no thanks" and then complimented my haircut! And sometimes the gay guys give me life advice, like when this two guys came in. I was waiting for one of the managers to get something for them so we started talking. He told me about how he backpacked around Italy when he was 18 and befriended this old woman who got him into bars, and his experience with getting drunk for the first time. That led to the subject of the class trip to Italy I took back in my freshman year of high school. He said something about the drinking age of Europe and I mentioned how all we did that trip was get drunk in the hotel rooms and sleep on the tour bus. He told me that I might have gotten too much of a headstart, and that I had the rest of my life to drink. See? Life lessons! Cracking eggs of wisdom!

But you know what's not the bestest? This awful job that allows me to work in West Hollywood. In case you didn't know, dry cleaners is code for slave labor. I'm basically on my feet for 6 or 8 hours a day, save for my 30 minute lunch break, which is fun because I can walk over to Gelson's and buy a cupcake and a turkey sandwich. But otherwise, it's murder. Sometimes people can be really bitchy and, what with the debates and election going on, everyone is talking politics. If I have to listen to anyone else talk about Sarah Palin this/Obama that, I'm going to scream. My job is easy enough though, but trust, I just need the money to put in the deposit on an apt for myself.

Anyway, it's also a really good eye opening experience. Everyone I work with is Hispanic and speaks Spanish. That usually gives people the immediate impression that they are supporting 5 children in a one bedroom apt, or they're here illegally, or they're stupid - all of which are ridic assumptions. Take my coworker Wendy, she's studying to be a registered nurse and gives half her paycheck to her mother, who just had surgery. And my coworker Rosa, she used to do payroll at this little shop but had to quit when her baby was born with a handicap. Or Vivian, she lives by herself and has to support herself. I love getting to dig deep into these people's histories and pasts. I guess it's the writer in me. I find it fascinating.

I still hate this job though. I'm rambling now. What was I talking about? Olivia's moving to LA, so I read. Kthxbai.

Deuces,
Erika

Hey, Here's Some Things That'll Occupy Your Time!

Glurgh, I have to be at work all day today. If you have a decent, God fearing job that lets you work full time or does not pay you a $/hr type wage, chances are you have today off. Cheers. Luckily for me, I fucked myself over with this class schedule and thus can only work part-time, which inevitably calls for weekends. I swurr, next semester I'm going to get right.

Anyways, since I'll be at work from 1230 till 9 I won't be here to update you precious people out there on the inner trappings of my life and mind. And since V and I are supposed to be LA'in it after I get off work, I basically won't be near my lappy all day. So I'll try and satiate you guys with some random things that don't add up to a legit-ly cohesive blog post but are interesting enough and kinda cool.

1. Did you know that in Alaska, some people call a really basic lamp a bitch? Yeah, neither did I until my English Comp Professor gave us this weird/cool word connotation essay and we started doing research. I guess there are more bitches in Alaska than I thought!

2. Sleeping In The Aviary has a new single out. Here you go.

3. Does anybody remember Cool Kid? Oh wait, sry, I should explain. Cool Kid is what I call that kid, whose name is Eduardo (Eddie for short), when I'm talking about him to other people, like my boyfriend, who is always telling me, "I don't want you hanging out with Cool Kid!" And then we laugh. Anyway Cool Kid is only 17 yrs old! How intense is that? Once I found out I was confused and disappointed at the same time. I wanted to fuck that boy, not statutorily rape him. Oh well...and there goes the dream...

4. I am trying to eat healthier these days. Rly I am. Today I had watermelon instead of...ummm...the stale cookies in the pantry, and last night I had oranges even though they tasted really shitty. I think that's because they were a day old when I ate them. Oh well. And I have been eating corn out of the can. It's fantastic. Sadly I am still a fatty moocow so in conjunction with eating healthier, I will be buying bigger clothing. No fail weight loss!

5. My one year anniversary is coming up in December. It sort of hit me suddenly, because I have never been one to dwell on anniversaries, mostly because I find them to be silly and unnecessary. But then again, I have never been with the same person for a year, so this is kind of a big deal. My boyfriend and I love Band of Horses. He bought me the LP for Christmas. "No One's Gonna Love You" is our song. It's dorky, I know. His anniversary present for me, aside from something material (gawwwd I hope he got that hint for new perfume!!!) is tickets to see Band of Horses when they come to the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta. It will be amazing, obvi.

6. On the note of anniversaries, I had a friend in high school who not only discouraged me from getting involved with my boyfriend, but constantly yammered on about her relationship. Her age difference was 4 yrs. Mine was 5. She celebrated anniversaries for each month and bragged to me that her boyfriend did this, her boyfriend said that: "Oh well my boyfriend has a car, yours doesn't, and my boyfriend doesn't smoke around me, but when I saw yours he was smoking and drinking pretty heavily." I never got to say what I wanted back to her because a) I'm not one to brag shit up like that. When good things happen to me, I keep them to myself or tell people who care, and b) we graduated before I could say something. But guess what bitch? My boyfriend is buying a car so he can be the one to pick me up from the airport at Christmastime. And he quit smoking. And he only drinks 2 beers max these days. He's smart, responsible, and likes me for my ass AND my brain, not just because I'm a mindless twat who looks cute because she has the face of a 12 year old, the maturity of a 15 year old, and the conservative judgment of a 40 year old. Well I feel better!

7. Along with the fabulous Mz. Sullivan, Baby Sinead, and the other people in the Top Blogger competition, I am happy to say that I too will be blogging over at Missbehave in the near future. I was afraid to say anything, too worried about jinxing it, but after talking to Shmarah, it is pretty much confirmed.

8. I ordered that uber fab Princess of the Posse sweater today. For Lolita Hazed's pleasure, as well as mine, I will be taking photos of it upon arrival.

9. Apparently, a "fat tire" is a type of beer. I had no idea. I guess it is good? I've never had it, obvi. I'm a microbrew type of girl. Call me elitist and snobby all you want, but Pabst tastes like sewer water and Guinness tastes like rubbing alcohol. Sidenote: don't ever drink Guinness while eating an old doughnut. Obvi you know better, but I did not.

10. I just like even numbers. Oh, and download this song. I'm uber nice and don't mind sharing, so I hooked myself up with a zShare account so I could share this amazingpants song with you guys! It's my favorite track off Neptune City and I love it not only because I happened to hear it when I was stuck in traffic in Hollywood and it fit the scene so perfectly, but also because of the lyrics: "I've been taken too far/ I cracked when I tried to press my luck/ Hoping you would come pick me up" Gawdddd, I so feel like Nicole Atkins gets me.

Ciao!

Deuces,
Erika

Where In The World Is Valentina San Diego?

Has anyone heard from V? I haven't? Last night she emailed me and a text msg later...nothing. V, where are you? Did those Pomona kids trap you in their room and make you listen to Vampire Weekend while tying knit sweaters around your shoulders and offering you cocaine? We have to celebrate my new job tonight! We're supposed to go to the strip club!

Where are you girl?

Don't be surprised if V's face pops up on the side of a milk carton soon.

Deuces,
Erika

Open Letter To All The Skinny Girls On Campus

Dear Thin Mints,

First of all, you guys have amazing style. No lie. Props where props are do. Your ability to accessorize thrifted mocassins, skinny jeans, and secondhand cashmere sweaters with filmy scarves and doorknockers is nothing to be laughed at. But hmmm. I wonder something every time I see you guys. Does ice water run through your veins? Is there a reason you can rationalize wearing winter wear in the middle of summer? Do you know where you live? The Valley. It's like regular life, if your life was dipped in an active volcano. It's fucking hot. In fact, I get hotter looking at you, wrapped up in your long sleeved button down and knee high boots.

Maybe it is because of your low BMI that heat just breezes right through you. It's no secret that girls with some chub hate summer because it means shorts and tank tops and sweat dripping all over the fat bits...ugh. But what is your excuse? For the sake of this argument, I'm going to reiterate a key point. We live in the Valley. La Valleja, I guess. I dunno, I'm making espanol up off the top of my head. Not the point. But I don't think I've ever been in a store that even sells jackets here. You guys have to be outsourcing this ish. And that just takes time and money your parents don't want to spend.

So do me a favor. Put on a slip, call it a dress, and continue to stare evilly at me. We'll all be feeling better in no time!

Deuces,
Erika

Jewels Makes Pins!

So it's like common knowledge that Jewels is awesome. Duh. She makes mad cool totes and knows what's going down in Chinatown. Ummm, I think. Anyway, as if she needed more dopeness to add to her repertoire, Jewels makes one of a kind, handmade pins! Think Etsy, but without the ridic prices and pretentious-ness. In case you're not a collector fuhreak like me and the word pin is not enough to sell you, these lil bitches are the coolest things ever. Somehow Jewels puts fuckmazing images into little pin form! Ohmahgawd, what? You still aren't sold? Ugh! There's no pleasing you! Well, there might be. Peep the styles and go crazy. I mean it, go fucking bananas, these babies are only $1 each!


Hit Jewels up if you wanna buy anything and go to her album to peep more of the bite sized wonders.

Deuces,
Erika

Bound For The Floor

Oh my gawd, I used to listen to this song all the time when I was in middle school. My mom didn't buy me any up to date technology till like, everyone but me had it, so I didn't get a CD player until I was in 8th grade. So instead, I turned to my radio since all I had were tapes (and a nice collection at that: Spice Girls, Janet Jackson, the All That soundtrack). Back then everyone was listening to Top 40 stuff but I couldn't get the signal for that station on my tiny little radio, so I listened to the 90s rock station. Basically all through middle school I was obsessed with Local H, AFI, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Oasis, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and the Beastie Boys. I was awesome, but misunderstood, like all the greats. Too bad that hasn't changed. Anyway, start your Thursday the right way with some seminal Local H! They taught me the word copasetic, btw. Now I use it all the time and people give me weird side eyes.



Deuces,
Erika

The Less Brown Side Of The Leaf

It would seem that everyone is in a bit of a funk these days. Well except Alex, who has no reason to be anything but ecstatic since she just got an article in a nationally published magazine. Which is awesome and completely snaps worthy. Oh, am I not conveying the enthusiasm? Sorry. !!!!! There we are then.

So a recent conversation with the dude in my life has opened my eyes completely. It led me to this realization.

My name is Erika and I am a bullshitter.
(Hi Erika.)

I have been half-assing my way through everything in my life. Just enough work in school to get me a passing grade, just enough effort in my work life to not get fired, just as much exercise to lose five pounds (only to gain it back), and just enough things I want to provide me with the minimal amount of happiness. I've never committed to a single thing in my life, only tried something for a little while and then complained that it wasn't working. But this is a terribly un-fulfilling way to live. It's gained me the reputation of never being serious about anything. Of being lazy. Of being noncommittal. And I'm all of that. But I'm none of that. But I'm tired of being like this. I'm in the height of my life, where the world is truly my oyster and I really can do anything. And goddammit, that's going to require me to commit to something. If I want the shit my heart desires I'm going to have to work and sacrifice for it. I can play later, right?

My boyfriend calls me and talks so happily about all the positive changes in his life and how good he feels. And I always feel bad, because fuck, I want that too. I want to be able to describe my life to people with such happiness in my voice and vivacity in my eyes, instead of the weary monotone and dull, glazed eyes I have now. No one can help me. They never could. It's all on me. And I'm going to do it.

I finally got a chance to write a completely new, fully badass, totally fuckmazing chapter in my book of life. I've got my gorgeously trannylicious leopard print, feather tipped fountain pen poised to draw the first line of that big letter at the beginning of fairy tales. And you better believe it's going to be an awesome letter. Like the scrolly, embellished kind with the little leaves and vintage emblems in the corners and whatnot.

You hear that world? Big changes are going down bitches! I'm going to work hard (at this slave labor job I have), I'm going to get a place of my own, I'm going to put effort into my relationships, I'm going to eat healthier, walk more, take opportunites, stop smoking (um, except those fantastic clove ciggies V has), I'm going to indulge in my hobbies, pursue my goals, sing more, laugh more, love more, and treat myself to a movie at the Sunset 5 once a month. I'm going to get amazing grades so my mom buys me a new laptop and I can stop using this hugenormous one from like 2002, with the broken N key, L key, and space bar. I will pay to have the internet put back on my Blackberry and talk to Smarah on BBM. I will paint my toenails and do my reading assignments when they are assigned. I will not let my surroundings get me down. I will not feel self-conscious when those LA brats stare me down. I will learn to live without my television shows and I will fight through the tears, the fatigue, the disappointments, and the anger so I can reach my potential. And maybe get a fucking haircut. Actually, I sort of like the shaggy mop that's taking shape on my head right now.

This is the promise I am making to myself.
(applause)

Deuces,
Erika

Cory Kennedy For Doc Martens

First Cory Kennedy was selling ish for Cobrasnake. It made sense. She was designing shirts, he was selling them, they were galavanting around the streets of LA...sounds fine to me. Then she did the Sebastian campaign for their new Whipped Creme product. Um...alright. But then she went to London and...this happened. Somehow CK managed to convince some important British people that she could take over where Daisy left off. Dun dun dun! And just like that *snap!* Cory Kennedy will be the new face of Doc Martens next season. Poor Daisy. Poor British people. I'm not sure if anyone can do it like Daisy.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Deuces,
Erika