Friday, June 13, 2008

Lily Allen Speaks Out Against Perez Hilton's Meanie McMeaniness. This Just In: She Also Learns To Use Photoshop

Okay, so Perez Hilton may not be the nicest dude. Well, he isn't. Plain and simp. But little did he know that mussing with Miss Allen would lead to a fiery wrath in the form of mature words, a Myspace blog, and some comma splices. Let's watch.

(from LA's blog)

I don't know why this has annoyed me so much. If I'm honest, it's probably because part of it is true these days I am more known for being a train wreck than a musician, and it does hurt. I've been working really hard on my new record; I don't think it sucks by the way. I haven't released a record for two years, so it's totally understandable that people don't write about my music anymore, however it's not fair to say that I'm washed up and it's not fair to make up these feuds between people. Not everyone's lives are fuelled by egos and jealousy, mine is certainly not. There was a time when Amy came out, that I was a little jealous, she has an amazing voice and writes incredible songs, what singer wouldn't be a little jealous of that, but I'd never let those feelings become unhealthy. And this is not meant in any way but I'd never heard of Katy Perry before I came here a few days ago, I didn't even know she was on Capitol, who by the way are not my label. I am signed to Regal Records in the UK and Capitol distributes my records here in America. I don't feel like I've been shoved aside for anyone, I haven't got a record out yet, so why would anyone be focusing their energies on me when there's nothing to work on! I have never been a "golden girl" and I think I visited Capitols office in New York once, about a year a half ago. I very much doubt they had a picture of me in their lobby. The point I'm trying to make is these stories are just not true. If the word reportedly exists in a story it means that it's pretty much a lie, it means they can't prove what they're writing and their just covering their backs. Perez doesn't even do this he just writes things that aren't true with no shame about it, and it's sad. I read these posts on his website about anti – bullying campaigns and all these good causes, and while I used to enjoy reading his site it seems to me that recently he has become what he hates so much, a bully. He bullies young, successful females; people usually bully people they're jealous of so I'll let you come to your own conclusion on that one. Anyway, I've got nothing against Perez personally, I don't assume to know him, what I do know is this though, he has a HUGE crush on my old manager, who I fired with a few months ago. Maybe this is his way of getting his attention or in his good books, or maybe it's because I turned down the opportunity of going on his TV show when he asked me to, or maybe because I'm friends with Samantha Ronson , who is so lovely by the way and not what Perez makes her out to be, who knows? Anyways, I hope you'll all like my new material, if not, looks like I'll have to find something else to do.

Who could have seen that coming? (Stevie Wonder, perhaps?) Kudos to Lily for keeping it hella real. Realer than that Hot Topic poser Perez. Now how did this ish get started? Because Mr. Hilton thought it would be cute to post this little gem:

And the battle is on! It's hard to stay on top in the music industry. Just ask Lily Allen! Lily used to be Capitol Records' "golden girl" but lately she's just been slipping. She's known these days more fore being a tragic train wreck than a musician. She knows it too. That must hurt! And, now, it seems she's been replaced. Replaced by none other than a Perez fad, Katy Perry, which we first introduced you to last year. Katy also performed at our kick ass party in Austin during SXSW this past March. Well, according to reports, a music industry insider has said, "Lily Allen is peeved at Capitol. She feels like they've shoved her aside to focus all their energies on their new girl of the moment, Katy Perry." But the real insult, according to the source, came when the label "replaced a photo of Lily Allen with one of Katy Perry" in its office main lobby. Ha ha ha!!!!! Lily is starting to look like washed-up goods. The only thing that can save Allen now???? If she makes a good sophomore album! But, from what we're hearing, Lily's new material s-u-c-k-s.

In addition to the snazzy retort on Lily's side, someone taught her how to Photoshop, creating this adorable pic she's daring Perez to post up on his site. Oooh...sounds like middle school all over again!
Hmmmm...while Katy Perry is gorgeous and I did once mistake her for Zooey Deschanel when I saw her on TRL yesterday, Lily's got a track record like few other women, no? If you care to read a much funnier, far more sarcastic take on this "Kat" fight (hahahaha...), head over to the 'Gum and read your asses off. This is Erika, signing off. Thank you and goodbye.