Thursday, July 17, 2008

Why The Internet Scares Me

I love the internet. It gives me something to do and I pretty much established myself as a human on this earth on the internet. To quote everyone's favorite family guy, "It's freakin' sweet." Sometimes I can use the 'net to do school work and stuff. Thanks Wikipedia!

Is any of this making sense? I'm watching Shear Genius right now so I'm having trouble focusing. But I'll be damned if I can't multitask! I'm a girl after all. I can text/drive/give myself a mani/eat dinner all at the same time!

But sometimes the internet terrifies me.

I like Alexyss Tylor. She's straight up down home ATL and she has some pretty awesome views on how guys treat girls and how bitches behave. She's very wise. Real talk. And somehow, through the pipeline of all the people on Jezebel, I heard that she had a cable access show on here in the A. So I went to find it. I went to one website - ONE WEBSITE and suddenly my computer started spazzing the fuck out.

This voice came on and it started shouting, "Hey everybody! I'm looking at gay porn!" over and over again!!! And then all this Two Girls, One Cup type porn ish started flashing on the screen!! I started screaming and slammed my laptop shut, but it kept going!! So I started hitting my laptop, which didn't work, so I pressed the POWER button until my laptop turned itself off.

It was uber traumatic. Why does the internet have to do that?? So after I got back on, I started putzing around. I tried to investigate that uber weird Tyra character on Missbehave and it led me to some kind of Tyra Show blog. There was a post about video games for your man, a segment which G4 gaming goddess Morgan Webb was hosting. I went through the comments and stumbled upon this gem:

I want to put my creampie on her such a fuckable face. I want to bend her over doggy style.

What the fuck is wrong with the internet?! Why??? Sigh...I love the internet, but sometimes it seriously terrifies me. Srsly. Care to discuss?



Valentina said...

Girl, that's happened to me too! Wtf is that? Like I was trying to watch a clip on youtube and all of a sudden the gay porn thing came on. I was totally terrified to do anything on the computer for like the rest of the day! Gawd, I love you internet, but sometimes you can be really creepy.

Speaking of Tyra, I saw another ex-top model contestant at forever 21 today! That brings my total ANTM sightings to 4!

MACK said...

LOL. I hit my laptop all the time when it's being a bad porn infested boy. The internet is the greatest and the worst thing to ever happen to mankind. Not only can we plagerize in the privacy of our own bathrooms, steal people's identity's, and chat it up with prospective child molesters, but we can also facebook away our educations and get stalked on myspace. Like you said, Wikipedia comes in handy sometimes also. I've never experienced the SHOUTING GAY PORN pop-up, but I've have pop-ups that don't really POP UP, they just play annoying music or the soundtracks to the gay porn you & valentina were watching. My school issued lappy also continues to play these noises despite multiple cntrl+alt+delete's and slamming it closed. I have resorted to running from the premises screaming.