You're The Only Ten I See

Package stores that sell beer to nineteen year olds should be everywhere.

Ohmahgawd, I'm back again! It would seem that my recent hiatus has forced me to miss a lot of things on the Northern side of the Tennessee border: blog updates, comments...I came home to a bananas amount of emails. The movies I ordered came in the mail (Now I can finally say I OWN The Bad Seed and Mommie Dearest...rawwww!) And I don't even want to get into the treasure trove that is Missbehave right now...Gawd, two and a half days of Sarah Morrison posts that I didn't even get to comment on! (You guys know she's really a machine, right? You feed a thought, suggestion, or passing memory into her and she cranks out a really awesome blog post in three seconds flat!)

Honestly, TN was suuuuper boring. My friend lives in a fucking one-horse, Mayberry town where all they do is hang out in front of the one package store (because they know the guy and he sells cigs and beer to minors), or hang in this one kid's basement (where he lives, cos he's 19 and not going to college...we spent a lot of time in that place), or drive around and shit. Their convos consist of daily activities (once I picked up my friend's phone and the guy was like what're you doing? and I was like nothing, and he was like, I'm getting gas [for my car] and mentally I'm thinking, so fucking what?), and I was blessed with the beauteous ability to somehow always end up sitting near my friend and her boyfriend and listening to them make out. There's moaning involved. It makes me wince.

Oh yeah, they have sex there too. It's like a civic pastime. When my friend graduated from HS, there were only three known virgins in her class. Sex always comes up in convos and many of the jokes are sex related. My friend is always being made fun of by her bf because they haven't done it yet. I was revered/admired for not being a virgin. I think her bf is a dick. No, not even that. He was acting like a huge asshole. Immediately, I wanted to punch people. By the end of last night, around 2 am, when we were hanging in this kid's basement watching Alpha Dog (awesome movie) and smoking, I was feeling particularly stabby.

But then my friend and I stopped in Chattanooga on the way back to the ATL. That was mildly fun. We went to the candy store and listened to Shakira. I sang along. She laughed. The end.

Saw this gem in Nashville. You hook it up to the music on your computer (your iTunes library, etc.) via a USB cable and when you play music, the stripper girl starts dancing to it. The best thing about this? Marks & Spencer makes it.

I always go to the same place in Chattanooga: Market St. It's right next to the Art District, the Tennessee Aquarium, and this big walkable bridge thingy.
The mountains and such. When we drove through them and when my friend saw the FALLING ROCKS sign, she flipped out. I eventually calmed her down by quickly telling her that it just meant it was a possibility, not an inevitability.

The smoking mountains smoking appropriately.

Oh yeah! And we bought fireworks. Bad. Ass. Fireworks. Like the kind that say you have to have professional supervision because they involve flaming balls and such. We're lighting them very soon. Oh yeah, beer will most likely be involved. We do it to it, trust.

So that's about it. Oh and a very, very, VERY large and hearty "thank you" to Miss Sarah for holding it down and taking the Disco over in a most graceful, swift, and sophisticated manner during my absence. Much apreesh, girl. But alas, that is all the guest blogging we have time for! You're back to just listening to MY incoherent thought processes! But they'll be interesting, promise! I'm trying to fit mad amounts of fun into my life until I move up to LA and then start having some real fun as my and Valentina's mischief filled adventures will make you so jelz it hurts in that good place.

Mad Men season 2 premiere tonight! Now I'm going to finish all my candy. Mmm, sugar coma...bai!

Deuces,
Erika