Why I Hate Rock Band

Everyone I know is aware that I hate Rock Band. I do. I kind of really mind Guitar Hero too, but that's more like karoake and Pump to me, so it doesn't really get under my skin. But for some reason, Rock Band really gets me going. First off, I hate those commercials. They try to be funny and sarcastic and clever and all that, but they're lost on me. I know what they're about, but they're stupid.

But I won't continue to talk about adverts forever.

My boyfriend thinks my hate of RB is elitist. Fuck that. You know what, I probably am. When I was in 10th grade, all I wanted was a drum kit. I'd played the flute in MS band for three years (but never got any better) and then took piano lessons under this strict and stringent teacher who never let me paint or grow out my nails. It was boring, but I am an ace pianist.

Anyway, I bought my first drums from Goodwill. It was $25 for four drums that were missing a lot of parts and were pretty crappy, but I sat on my floor and learned them. I bought a ten dollar TEACH YOURSELF DRUMS book. My first pair of sticks were the shittiest ones ever and only cost about three bucks. But day in and day out, I sat in front of those drums and practiced.

Cut to about six months later. My friends and I think it would be cool to start an all girl band. We have two garage sales and raise around $120. With the money we buy an amp, a guitar, and a mic. Then we try to build me a complete drum kit. It's hella expensive. I plead to my mother and she finally buys me a kit about two months later. It becomes my pride and joy. Continuous trips to Guitar Center ensue. I feel empowered when I buy my sticks. I ogle hot boy drummers.

A year and two defunct riot grrrl bands later, I still practice the drums everyday. I am sad to put them in storage when I go to LA. The most wonderful thing that has happened in my drumming career is when I saw this man drumming on an upside down bucket on the street in Atlanta. He was amazing.

I approached him and asked him how long he was playing. He said, "For a really long time." I said, "I've been playing for about a year and I feel like I'm not getting any better."

He said to me, "Keep going. I'm sure you'll get really good."

You don't get that kind of organic, interesting, awesome story from asking your mom to go to Target and buy you Rock Band. You don't get this feeling of accomplishment of learning an instrument from square one and then getting really good at it. You feel like you can conquer the fucking world with that feeling. I don't dismiss the fact that Rock Band gives a lot of people the chance to come out of their shells. I just wonder why people can't just buy a real instrument and do that.

I guess the world likes the instant gratification. Bleh, that's why I hate Rock Band.

Deuces,
Erika